Monday, December 27, 2004

Public transport and irritants.

I hate taking public transport. Most people around me know this because I simply can't stand how inconsiderate and boorish some commuters are.

To the crowd on the platform at Jurong East MRT Interchange:

Please do not block the doors. If people can't get off, you can't get in either because there simply isn't enough room on the damn train. Just fucking stand on both sides and wait.

Please stop jostling. No matter how you push and force your way through the patient crowd (read: me), you WILL STILL not get a good standing nor sitting place on the crowded train. End of story. So stop pushing or I'll bloody stab you in the neck.


To the fat chick next to me on the 170 bus when I was standing:

Girl, no matter how intellectual you want others to believe you are, refrain from reading WHILE standing on a crowded bus. Please grab hold of the poles or handles. I hate it when your entire weight shifts and crashes onto me. My frail body cannot take this kind of abuse, not when I just recovered from tonsillitis. And if you really want to appear intellectual, go read or hold onto some really classic and foreign looking materials, like french newspaper or a collection of 16th century french poetry.

And if you really have to read on the bus, please consider the situation you are in before embarking on such a image publicity stunt. Read only when

1) you have a seat,
2) you have to memorise and translate the abovementioned 16th century french poems to save your entire family, whose lives are in the evil clutches of a french drug lord/mafia.

Otherwise please hide your copy of "The Dark Highlander". It doesn't appears to be very impressive when you are reading about Highlanders. Stupid shit.


To the minah-looking chinese ah lian next to me when I got a seat:

Stop fucking fling your hair in my direction. I do not like your hair being flung in my face. I know it's brown-streaked and maybe rebonded, but I seriously do not give a flying fuck about your hair. You beware that someone might just yank your hair out one day because you fling it in his/her face. You hear it from here first.

Stop trying to lean your weight on me while trying to peer outside at the traffic. Don't assume that I am part of the seat nor I do not mind you leaning on me. I am not part of the seat and I do mind. Especially when you stink and your hair keeps brushing up and down my right arm. I do not like that. Throughout the entire ride, I was thinking of how to write this down on my blog, and how to cause you the grievous bodily harm that you rightly deserve.

Stop irritating me or I'll really cause you such grievous bodily harm that your family has to identify you from your spotty dental records. Mark my word, minah-looking ah lian.


*pissed*

Public Announcement.

Christmas has came and went. This year is the first Christmas I spend at home. Well, the first time since I last challenged my boundaries.

Tonsillitis is no joke, people. You can't eat, swallow, talk or drink without wishing you were dead most of the time. You are reduced to making gurgle-like sounds and people around you have to constantly guess what you are trying to say ("I am in pain"). Like when you are trying to figure out what gurgling baby wants. It's that. It doesn't help when your family is having a feast (chicken wings, curry etc.) when you are trying to carefully drink your porridge so that you don't scrape off half your throat with each swallow. Half the time you are wondering how come your porridge isn't

1) mushed up enough (to avoid excessive chewing),
2) overly watery (to aid, or rather reduce peristalsis since it hurts like no tomorrow),
3) and how come no one mechanically blends your porridge into baby food-like paste.

Seriously, tonsillitis is baaad. Wish it on your enemies. Even then, I find it too harsh a punishment to wish it on your enemies.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas, so that I can live vicariously through each and every one of your joyous experiences.


On another note, the pantry in my office is shockingly and embarassingly bare. Usually we have

1) hot-chocolate-wannabe milo,
2) Nescafe coffee,
3) Lipton's 'premium' black tea, and
4) sugar.

My own private stash of green tea is carefully concealed in the tiny corner of my desk.

Anyway I ran out of green tea, and the office's supply of milo and sugar ran out on me today. I would rather die that to drink instant coffee. Mainly due to the fact that I hate coffee(it makes me pukish) and the taste of instant coffee is comparable to bland dishwater. It's a fact. No matter how 'premium' the label on the jar claims to be, instant coffee is still crap. I have a mug of cold, unsweetened black tea on my desk now. The taste of it is likened to dishwater as well. I simply won't drink it. Over my dead body. End of story.

I'm being the whiny cowardly intern here. Simply because I don't know who to go to regarding the "lack of refreshment in the pantry" situation. Should I go to my manager and say

"Erm... excuse me. Sorry for interrupting your important phone call. I have a problem. The office is currently out of drinkable artificially taste-enhanced liquids. Can you please bring a 2kg pack of milo and sugar to the office tomorrow? I can't survive throughout the rest of the working day without a fix. Many thanks."


I will so get the door slammed in my face. Well I shall be even more diplomatic (read: cowardly) by bringing my own supply tomorrow so that unnecessary conflict can be avoided.

It's Xueling's birthday tomorrow and Happy birthday, Girl! I haven't seen her in years and I simply can't wait. =)

It was Shiqi's birthday yesterday (26/12) and at symin.blogspot.com, the editor-in-chief believes in "No Friend/Family Left Behind" policy. So Happy Birthday* to you too, girl! *beams* Hope you love all your presents.


* abovementioned birthday has already passed.



Frick.

Blogger is a gigantic piece of shit.

Condolences to my original posting, which on 27/12/04 was forcefully taken from us due to an Internet Explorer "Can't find server" error. Let us observe a minute of silence for the post that could have changed the world into a better place. (Cue the contrived Michael Jackson song in the background)

Any grievous outpour in spirit or monetary (monetary being the preferred outpour) will be warmly and gratefully received. All donations and get-well-from-missing-post cards can be made to

Ms Morose 'N'Grieving Lee
1 Jalan Missing,
BloggerBuang Gardens,
Singapore 000100

The article above is a re-typed version of my original post.


Monday, December 20, 2004

Discrimination.

I can't understand the big hoo-ha over banning gay marriages. I mean, a high number of straight marriages are heading towards divorces anyway, so why should people oppose to same sex marriages if both parties are willing to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment together till death do them part? Surely the sanctity of marriage is not compromised if 2 people, homo or not, spend the rest of their lives honoring their marriage.

I get the fact that some places are exceptionally sensitive towards the homosexuals, quoting them as abominations and other unfavourable names. Some places even deny jobs and certain welfares to this category of people simply because of their sexual orientation. Surely a democratic society based on meritocracy should be well aware that such unfair treatment of people contradicts the so-called society they claim to be.

Again I can't really fathom the ingrained notion that some people have towards HIV and AIDS. Even the educated middle class firmly believes that ONLY homos get HIV, and straight people don't get it. Oh, and chances of contracting such a disease is sooo slim that protection is just redundant. Oh c'mon. I mean, has education failed us so terribly that we can solve 2nd order differential equation but fail to comprehend the cause and effect of such a deadly virus?

Such misconception might only be explained by Asian's take towards morality and decorum. Apparently it's rude to mention sexual orientations, STDs and other related topics in public, which is probably why less and less people understand ANYONE can get the disease. I understand the part about declining birth rate and the need to have more babies. However let us not forget that as society opens up to more liberal ideas, asking/pushing for abstinence from the public is good as not conveying any message at all. Tolerance and the need to preach safe sex are crucial to winning this battle. Simply put, do what you like but do it safely.

Hiding 'embarassing' explanations does not help and one can only hope that both the people and the governing bodies look at this situation in a more grown-up and clinical manner. There's nothing embarassing about teaching everyone on such sensitive topics. Is human life worth risking just to preserve social decorum?

End of rant.



Sick.

I think I'm getting sick or something. First it started off like a nose allergy and after 1 pill, it looks like flu complete with splitting migraine and unexpected puking.

I've been healthy for ages, never sick when I was in Aus and now that I'm back, everything seems to hit me with a vengeance. Bleah. Gotta go see a doc I guess and I have no guts to apply for a day's leave since
a) I'm a lowly intern,
b) I pulled some strings to get the job,
c) all of the above.

I hate being sick.




Friday, December 17, 2004

Slap 'em silly.

Every morning I read the news online. Well, by every morning, I mean during periods of time when work hasn't officially start yet.

Anyway I came across an article in the forum by some miopic nutjob, proclaiming the greatness of a certain M&M politician and the great level of democracy people of the island enjoy. God I wanted to laugh out loud and slap that fella silly. Can anyone be more brainwashed than that? I shan't answer that in case some Big Brother-esque figure pays me a visit and erases my existence from a tiny island in Asia.

Well according to the miopic reader (not in verbatim), the island would not be what it is today if not for the great foresight of M&M and his fella melt-in-your-mouth-not-in-your-hands cronies. Ok he didn't use the word cronies but oh well. The passage continued to praise his leadership, which has brought prosperity and peace to the country etc.. and shit like that. And the success of the certain party comes from its great management and efficiency, in which fairness and no forms of bias play a part in the formation of the Great Party. C'mon, get a grip.

No one, and I mean no one will ever know if the Island would be a better place should another politician be its leader. Unless you have a way of going back in time to experiment, or you have a way to take a glimpse into the parallel universe to check out the Island. No chance in hell can you say for certain that another leader would not be able to accomplish as much. He may have accomplished some great shit during his years but please do not regard him as the Great Leader or 'The Best Thing That Island Had". Because that's beginning to sound like North Korea. A lot.

Efficiency and great management. How big a propaganda piece can this article be? Ask anyone and they would mumble under their breath that they don't dare NOT to vote for the Party, since it may void them of the chance to get upgrades and better facilities. Unbias? My arse.

My point is that, people ought to open their eyes more. Use your brains and analyse. See past all the hypocrisy.

I shall stop preaching political sentiments now. For today.



Thursday, December 16, 2004

Childhood fantasy 1

Just heard the song "More than words" by Extreme over the radio in the office. Well, it's someone else's radio and all I could hear was faint sounds. Nonetheless I'm extremely convinced that I heard "More than words" since I'm sober, not under the influence and very awake.

When I was an impressionable child of 13, I heard the song More than words and it meant the entire world to me for no apparent reason. I wasn't in love or anything like that but still. I made a promise to myself. This is the kind of promise you hide in your subconscious and not make known to the public, and when it does get fulfilled, your face lights up and you secretly smirk with glee.

Anyway the promise was that should any guy not under the influence/insane/coerced sing THAT song to me, that guy would be THE ONE.

Ok. This is really silly but I guess young impressionable girls of 13 believe in THE ONE. The only one you'll ever have to date. The perfect one that complements you. The one whom you would grow old with despite you looking like a tired old hag. You get the drift.

Fast forward to age 18. An age where I had forgotten the existence of the promise. Ok, sometimes I do get reminded of the promise when the song gets played on the radio. And since this is a rather old song, it rarely gets airtime.. Anyway bless my 18 yr old heart, some guy did sing the song to me. In the lecture theatre. Looking straight at me. Strumming a damn guitar no less. God, the existence of the promise came swarming back, hitting me right on and left me bewildered.

"Is he the one?"

Fast forward again to the rip old age of 23. Not only was the crooner NOT with me, we've never ever went out or anything. I'm with The Possible One, who can't sing, play a guitar to save his life or have an ounce of romance in him to salvage a relationship that may be sinking faster than Titanic. Anyway I shouldn't be complaining since there're much more unfortunate people out there, such as starving children in Somalia whom may not live to make such silly promises to themselves. The Possible One, well, can't do any of the 'romantic' stuff but at least I know he will be there for me when I turn into an insufferable old hag of a woman. So there. All I can say is that I will try to be happy.



Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Secretly.

I'm bored out of my skin in the office. By the way, I'm in the office at the very present moment. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder so that someone doesn't spot me blogging in the middle of the working day. The boredom is so overwhelming that I am willing to risk my internship by bloggin in the office. Can you possibly imagine the intensity of it? I'm not even sure how you can measure boredom, so I guess the word "intensity" will suffice.

I'm a very conflicted person. Or rather I'm often in conflicting situations.. Not sure if that made sense but anyway I think I'm facing some serious shit. Not going to fool around now but apparently that jerk of a lecturer decided to flop me by a mark. Again.

By 'again', I don't mean to say that the same lecturer flopped me twice. But somehow I have trouble with electrical subjects. I have to take every electrical related subject twice. &(@!^# I'm not proud of this and I know it's nothing to be bragged about online.

Anyway that son of a &*#^$ lecturer decided to torture me by denying me 1 mark. 1 freakin' mark that could change my entire life and fortune. I've written him emails, telling him that his subject is all that is stopping me from graduating after 1 more semester. I don't know how to break this to my parents. As much as I know they will, I hope they don't give me the disappointed look.

Should I go "Hey I took 7 subjs this semester and I scored 4 distinctions! I flopped 1 but I got 4 DISTINCTIONS! Isn't that something?? Oh I have to do one more semester... but I got 4 distinctions! Please don't kill me."

Holy shit.

4 distinctions... and 1 satisfactory thesis, marred by 1 stupid tele subj taught by a china man.

I can't begin to describe my hatred for chinamen right now. Especially those cocky stupid sons of *&^#($^. I need a .22 and a couple of rounds. It'll be Columbine High all over again, just that only chinamen are targetted.


I need some serious prayers now. And if that screwball of a lecturer closes 1 eye and passes me, me life would be complete and I swear I will go easy on slammin' chinamen from now on.



p.s. people who are reading this, especially my family members, do not breathe a word of this particular entry to my family. I will find a way to break it to them as gently as possible. Just like my fall from grace. As gently as possible



Sunday, December 12, 2004

Yelling girls.

Everytime I open up blogger's "Create a post" screen, my mind goes blank. I forget what I want to talk about and most of the time I just log off.

Anyway I had my first working day on Friday and it was totally boring. People there were rather grownup and in the technical department (that's where I'm at), there're no other girls. There're about 5-6 females but they belong to the sales/accounts department and honestly speaking, I don't really know how I can fit it. This is still a small issue.

My day officially ends at 5.30pm so you cannot imagine how excited I was when it's 5.15pm and I was doing a private countdown of sorts. When 5.30pm came and went, the entire office remained as it was, and people were still doing their thing. The girls continued to chatter all the way across the office, even though they were free to go. Everyone seemed to try to outstay everyone else and leave later than they were supposed to. What's wrong with these people?

Being the newbie, I didn't dare to stride out of the office like I had been released from prison. I waited and waited till someone decided to leave. And that was close to 6pm.

I don't get it. You don't get extra pay for leaving late (we don't have have the punch card thingy so I guess there's no way to check). You impress no one by leaving late. How does that correspond to being hardworking? Leaving late doesn't mean you are doing more work. It just means you are too slow during the day. Anyway I just think it's odd that people stay around the office even when they have nothing to do.

The girls were shouting across the office, discussing publicly which Tiffany bracelet to buy in Hokkien. They were checking out eBay and the shouting drove me mad on Friday. I can't remember all the Hokkien that went on but it was something like this:

Girl1: Wah, the bracelet hor, is damn nice leh. Shiny shiny leh.
Girl2: Simi bracelet? You wear bracelet one ah? Mai waste money la... buy for what?
Girl1: There... the bracelet from eBay lor! You come here and see... damn nice hor?
Girl3: (dormant girl who came alive after hearing a deal) Har? Got bracelet kang tow ah? Eh help me check leh! I want the cheapest one.
Girl2: (goes to check out the item on eBay) Ok la... I like that one better leh...
Girl1: Oh yar hor.. then how? I cannot decide liao.. aiyoh no money to buy 2.. pok like that.


The entire day went on with the girls having the conversation across the office. Everyone had no choice but to accomodate to them. Holy hell.

Are offices usually like this?



Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Eventful.

I have been back for a week now and it has been a busy one.

Grandma suddenly got very sick and was admitted into the hospital. Totally unexpected. I was talking to her after dinner when she suddenly had problems breathing.. and the doctor's prognosis was not encouraging. In fact it was really bad. But now she's stable and I am so relieved.

Had my job interview today and it was alrite. The manager seemed friendly and slack. When I told him I could start work anytime, he told me to appear next week until I reminded him about my 60 working days requirement. -.- I start work this Friday and I wonder if I can wake up on time.

After my interview I waited at Buona Vista mrt station for Meng. It was both good and sad waiting there. I mean, ACJC was soooo near and yet I couldn't bring myself to visit it because I simply did now know what to say if I went back. Should I go "Hello, I schooled here a few years back and it was the best days of my life" or "Oh my, this is where I screwed up big time for A's. Nonetheless I still love the school." To be honest it was none of the responses. In all honesty I wasn't a prominent figure and I don't know anyone there. Going back would just be awkward.

Overall this past 7 days had been immensely tiring for the entire family. We had been at the hospital longer than we were at home. Anyhow it was worth it. It's great seeing grandma so alert and well after such an ordeal.

Afterall, she is the one who is always there for me since young.



Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Revision.

Hmm.. after reading a certain post I made earlier, I guess I was a little delirious back then. I don't think I want my jc crush to be perfect for me now. I just want him to be my friend.

Perfect.

And I figure out that I'm actually a very confused person. Oh did I mention that I have bad bad dreams about a certain teacher? I'm having those dreams ever since I got back, which means it has been 2 days in a row. Definitely not good. I need a shrink.

The family's alright.. a little worried about my grandma. She didn't recognise me when I got home. She does now, after several reminders. She's ok but it doesn't really mean that she's in the pink. A little sad about it, because afterall she was the one who literally raised me since young. I so want her to be healthy and happy again.

I never really planned on having a blog that details every single event of my life. I wanted to write something that reflects my thoughts, however ingenius or ludicruous they may be. However, I realise that it has begun to be more on mundane stuff instead of the 'thoughts' I have. I plan to change that since it is neither interesting nor thought-provoking to read about someone's diet, bus trip or christmas list.

Let's see how things go.



Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Home.

I'm home.

Everything looks the same. Everyone is fine. It's hot and humid.

I'm home.

I have a lot of things to write about but somehow I can't seem to put them down in words. I'm one of those people that 'sees' things in pictures. 3D. That's why it takes me some effort to put my thoughts on paper.

I'm semi glad that I'm home. Happy that I don't really have to lift a finger, yet depressed that my freedom's gone. I can't eat dinner at whatever time I like, or go out whenever I want (due to transport problems).

Overall it's ok to be home. If only it's cool and crisp outside, or the streets are air-conditioned.


Wednesday, November 24, 2004

All I want for Christmas are...

Tis the season to be jolly. For me to immensely enjoy this year's Christmas, I would like to have a Sony PlayStation Portable (PSP) AND the new PS2.





I really really want a PSP. You can play games as is or play online via a wireless network, and watch dvd on this thing. For all the digital photos fanatics out there, you can store all the photos in this baby and show off to all your friends. Ain't life grand?

Psss... this gem is officially released in Japan this year on December 12.

PS2... I've lived in Sydney surviving on and off with the help of Jasmin's and Victor's PS2. Jasmin moved away so I'm left with Victor's screwy PS2 that somehow doesn't load at times. Bleah. Therefore I would very much appreciate the new PS2 this Christmas!





It's thin (2.8cm) and lightweight, perfect for bringing it OVERSEAS don't you think? It's reason enough for me to have one. =)

I love Christmas. Let's spend Christmas together this year!


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Robert Langdon.

I guess this is old news for some but Tom Hanks has been chosen to play Robert Langdon in the movie, The DaVinci Code.

The horror. He can never ever pull off Robert Langdon. Every time I see Hanks, he reminds me of Forrest Gump on a shrimp farm. How can he be the charismatic and intelligent symbology professor at Harvard?

In the book, Langdon is supposed to be 45 years old, handsome but not in the classical sort of way. He still has a great physique from his swimming days because he swims 50 laps a day.

Tell me, does that sound like Hanks to you?

The one other guy that I think can play this role, is Liam Neeson. Charming fella that comes across as the strong, silent and intelligent type.

Oh, there is a cheap rip-off version of Da vinci code in theatres soon, which is the movie "National Treasure". Nicholas Cage. One word. Eww. I will still watch it, just to slam it further to illustrate the point that Da Vinci Code reigns supreme.

Anyway I shouldn't be talking about DaVinci Code since I have 2 more papers and none are on the DaVinci Code. If it's on the book or any Harry Potter trivia, I will pass with flying colors and the uni will have to award me with a certificate of special achievement.

Don't get me wrong. I am REALLY that well, not knowledgeable but the word is well-informed, on the world of Harry Potter. I scored in a computing quiz because there were HP trivia in it. My tutor decided to be sadistic, adding those questions so that no one could get full marks. HAHA how wrong was he when I was the one who knew what the title of the 6th book is, how many points was the golden snitch worth and what was the name of Harry's first broom.

Smart I tell you. If only I can remember my actual computing stuff the way I remember HP trivia. Unbeatable.

Did I mention I got the job? And the company decided to pay me!! The amount remains unknown to me, and I shall find out when I go back for an interview. I AM getting the job, and I start work anytime I wish. Sweet.

p.s. All you people out there who have finished exams, please channel all your unneeded luck to me so I pass the remaining 2. Mucho mucho gracias. =)


Friday, November 19, 2004

10 days.

It's been 10 days since I've added anything to my blog. I'm so tired.

In 10 days, I've

used 180 sheets of paper,
drank about 16 mugs of mocha,
had about 15 takeaways,
went through 8 textbooks (not every single page of course),
8 McDonald's sausage and egg McMuffins,
5 hours of sleep per day,
4 papers and
1 day when I was almost on the verge of breakdown.

I'm drained. I have about 7 days to go till my next paper, and exactly next Friday, I will be free!!!

I feel just like an inmate who knows she has exactly 1 week till freedom. Can't wait!

Then again, I will start to panic since my results will be out anytime in December. =( It's a torture.. and if I flop anything, I will have to endure 1 more semester of uni. NOOOoooooo !!!

Not sure if I would write more after my exam, since I would probably get away from books, computers and any sort of writing material for a while. =/

I need a vacation.



Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Drama.

El suggested I 'fessed up to my jc crush. Not to have a sense of closure on my part, but to provide entertainment for him. Haha...

El, there's no way he liked me. And I faithfully wrote down every bit of juicy details in a logbook a la Bridget Jones' style during my 2 years in jc. All the "juicy bits" are in there, plus a few other stuff. I wrote quite a bit, and it's very blog-like. Lengthy entries, heart palpitations, butterflies in stomach and all. Every single thing was chronicled.

Everyone in the class, the girls I mean, would know about the "drama" because they read the logbook. I am too tired to reproduce a summarised story/plot for your entertainment. Should I have the time, I will fill you in with what happened.

Speaking of which, I have no idea where the logbook is. Shit. Some things are not meant to be made known. There's some scandalous shit in it. I hope it's with someone, preferably the girls, or burnt.

Just where is the damn book?



Monday, November 08, 2004

Crush revisited.

Oh god. Talking to my jc crush now. I feel like I'm in jc all over again.

He was sooooooo right for me. At least I think he was. He still is. =X I guess some of you would know who this guy is, then again some may not know.

He was the guy who made me laughed a lot. The guy who strummed his guitar and sang to me in the lecture theatre. The guy who accompanied me home after school. The guy who walked me back to the doorstep of my boarding school. The guy who took a cab with me to jc when we missed the 74 bus in the morning. The guy who drew pictures in my lecture notes. The guy who supplied me with loads of fruitips. The guy whom I liked for 2 years.

He still doesn't know. I'm not sure if I have the guts to tell him at the end of our conversation. How I wish things could be different.


Friday, November 05, 2004

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

Oh god. Just caught the world's first preview of Star Wars III. It is good I tell you.

Darth Vader is finally turning baaad. And I really hope the movie turns out well. *fingers crossed* The graphics look good and 1 particular scene looks a tad too "LOTR", complete with lava and what looked like a floating eye on top on a mountain.



Oh well. Sith lord....... I'm hyperventilating. I'm that excited.

I'm blogging at 6.45am. It's shocking but I just have to announce that I'm suffering from insomnia. I can't sleep at night anymore. =(

If you can find the trailer online, download and watch it. You will forget the disaster that were Episode I and II, and lose yourself in the entire series all over again.

"Luke, I am your father." -- Darth Vader

UNSW.

Caught on tv UNSW, among 5 other Australian unis, are in the top 50 universities in the world.

Suddenly I feel so damn smart. Top 50 ok... dunch play play.

Sex and the city.

You are Charlotte.
Congratulations! You are Charlotte.

Which Sex and the City Character Are You?

Another good show that's ending. In Australia.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Random stuff.

Bush won the election. What can I say? As much as I support Kerry/Edwards, I had a gut feeling Bush would win. Things that can go wrong, will definitely go wrong. And worse things will definitely follow.

11 days to exams and I have no business poking my nose into US politics since I'm not the one running for presidency. Drafting the timetable to study is already a big headache, not to mention revising the actual content for 6 subjects. Thankfully I don't have to be tested on my thesis. That's 1 less subject to revise.

Trying to find a job for summer holz. Somehow I heard I wasn't going to get paid, which is making things a lot worse. I guess I had enough of getting money from my parents, and I can't spend on whatever I like because it's my parents who will be "paying" me. Basket. Why are companies in Singapore so cheapskate? Pay the students. They are NOT a cheap/free source of labour. You want free labour? Get your own family to do it. Even then, they may not want to do it either.

Read in a clause in my uni that explains why all students should be paid. In a way, the company acknowledges you as a staff, albeit a temporary one. You will then be covered for all accidents and what not. Furthermore, I should be getting 80-100% of the actual renumeration for a newcomer since I'm already in my 4th year of study. And that amount actually works out to be $1800-2400 per month. I feel like I've been ripped off. tmd.....

At the moment I have my eye on several stuff. 1 pair of shoes, 1 skirt and 1 top which sum up to $240. Shocking and obscene amount of money for a casual retail therapy session, which is why I'm putting a lot of thought into this. I can't really afford it now, since I'm not going to get effin' paid for my labour. *ponders* I guess I can afford 2 out of 3, provided I get financial support from people around me. *major hint*

Someone asked me a weird question out of the blue and caught me by surprise. Can I accept a guy who's younger than me as a boyfriend? And what's the limit? I guess I can accept a younger guy, afterall I've been surrounded by younger guys all my life. Limit? erm.. 2 years. How come no one ask me if I can accept older guys?! *puzzled*

Bush's making his acceptance speech now. Irritating ape. But I must agree Laura Bush looks more dignified as the First Lady than Theresa Heinz Kerry. However that should not be the sole reason why people should vote for Bush. I talked to a few friends in US, and despite the major efforts to get youngsters to vote, they did not vote. Basically it boils down to this:

1) the queues get waaaaaay too long.
2) their votes won't count (probably, since they are in republican states. Mostly.)
3) america loses, when either one wins. So there's no point voting.

Sighz.... so many problems.

So many what-ifs.

So many regrets.

My life is pretty much, in a mess now.


p.s. I forgot to add I like James Spader in my previous post.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

My favourite actors.

John Malkovich, Gary Oldman, Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman, Liam Neeson. My Leading men.

I have this thing for old actors. Not "dying soon" kinda old, more like "mature" kind of old. And the thing is, I like them because they always play evil people in movies/shows. The youngest among this group is Ralph Fiennes I think, but who gives a damn.

John Malkovich... I like him when I saw his tv series Les Miserables. He's the evil policeman and he spoke fluent French! Not that I understand French (I watched the show with subtitles) but he's soo.. convincing.

Gary Oldman. What can I say. Other than Azkaban, I like him in every other movie he's in. He was in Fifth Element as some evil businessman. Hideous costume though. He was in "Immortal Beloved" (low-budget tv movie) as Ludvig van Beethoven. The resemblance is uncanny. Messed up white hair and all. I almost believed he IS Beethoven.

Ralph Fiennes caught my attention in Schindler's List. He was the evil SS officer, Amon Goethe. See, I even remember the name. It was a memorable role. More so than Herr Oskar Schindler himself. He was evil, killing people whenever he wanted to. Yet he fell for his Jewish servant. Sort of. Emotional struggle, yadda yadda. But the point is, I pity him. Convincing actor, that Ralph Fiennes. Too bad, he had this flick with J Lo, Maid In Manhattan. He should not venture out into mainstream flicks. I think it's below him.

Alan Rickman is funny. He was a seraphim in Dogma, which is a controversial movie in many places so I don't think many people watched it. For people who don't know what he looks like, he is Professor Snape. He is also the married man in Love Actually, whose wife is Emma Thompson. Anyhow I like him.

Liam Neeson. Oskar Schindler in Schindler's List. Quigon Jinn in Star Wars Episode 1. Has the look of an old wise middle aged man.

Hmm... I come to the conclusion that I like middle aged actors who have talent. Not the typical Hollywood pretty boys.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Honey and the moon.

I know I know... I've professed my undying love for this song umpteen times and there was even a phase when I got sick of the song after listening to it over and over and over... and over again. Hearing the song now just brings me weak at the knees... not because I'm lovesick/swept off my feet. Hard to explain.

I thought I would never be the type who posts lyrics on blog but I'll make an exception this time. And if I figure out how to add song clips to my blog, you won't have to go thru the lyrics at all! You can just listen to it. Preferably at night in the dark. Anyway, enjoy.

Honey and the moon -- Joseph Arthur

Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up now
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true and deep as the sea

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives.

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet in love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave a message on your answering machine

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust without a fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon that lights up my night

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around

Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I've falling down

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish i could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Hybrid.

Me, a hybrid?!





















The Uptown Girl

I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better. -- Sophie Tucker

If her last name is a household word, like Disney or Kellogg, chances are she's an Uptown Girl with a trust fund the size of Texas. But it isn't wealth that defines the Uptown Girl, it's breeding and decorum (unless she's a Party/Uptown hybrid like those Wild On royals or the aristobrat child of a celebrity). A true Uptown Girl has Park Avenue taste and the manners of Emily Post, at least when Mummy is watching.

The Uptown Girl is a challenge -- one that requires a little more, well, money. Menus in this chapter are going to cost you more than the others because you will need a few premium ingredients to get this Girl's attention (read: oysters, caviar, and very expensive Champagne). If this is really the type of girl that you are after, you're probably used to this already. If you don't have the budget to support her tastes, we would suggest becoming a musician. Seems like those guys can always get women to buy them groceries.

She Might Be an Uptown Girl if:
She drives: a Jaguar, a Porsche, or a Rolls-Royce, or a limo with a driver and tinted, bulletproof windows.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: being a debutante.
She begins her sentences with: "When we were on Martha's Vineyard..."
She'd never: fly coach.
She owns any of the following: an exotic toy breed dog, Waterford crystal, anything from Tiffany's, real pearls.


The Progressive Girl

Moderation in all things, excess in nothing. -- Epicurus

Imagine that the Girl Next Door moved to the big city. Think of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She's America's sweetheart with an urban sensibility. She's a post-Christian spiritualist, a pre-Monica Clintonite, and a dues-paying member of at least one social-change organization like NOW, Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club. You won't find her at an Earth First or PETA meeting, though. Those are the Granola Girl's stomping grounds. Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way.

If you are going to date a Progressive Girl, the one sin you can commit is to be a chameleon. Molding your opinions to fit hers will lose her respect. One very positive thing you can do is offer her new experiences -- the Progressive Girl is fearless about trying new things. Whether it's pluralism, skydiving, Asian peanut sauce, or this book, the Progressive Girl is always looking for new ideas.

She Might Be a Progressive Girl if:
She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
She begins her sentences with: "Susan Sarandon says..."
She'd never: pass up the chance for a new experience.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.

On a lighter note, I'm a dark magician! I cast dark evil spells and curse people to suffer hell for all eternity. Do not cross me.

DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!

What kind of dark person are you?

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Graduation.

Thought I separate this post from the last since it's on totally different subject.

Anyway after my thesis presentation, it got me thinking. It's like a wakeup call because realistically speaking, I will be graduating in 6 months' time if I don't fail anything this semester and the next. And the moment I get that paper (read: certificate), it would seriously mark the end of childhood, either acknowledged or otherwise.

I won't be able to laze around since I HAVE to get a real job and start ACTING my age. I will have to live in the real world, where there will no longer be any real vacations till I retire. When you are schooling, you get term breaks that can last for 3 months! Now, I don't think I can apply for leave for 3 weeks, much less 3 months. They would just fire me.

I will then earn my own money, which will be chicken shit since the economy is in the dumps now. People, please wake up. Don't believe what your government and newspapers are tellin' you. Do you SERIOUSLY think that the economy is recovering? Some people really do. Ignorant, gullible fools. I can hear my mom going "$1600 is quite a good starting pay... do you see the number of unemployed on the street? Don't be picky...." It's chicken shit for the work I have to do. It shouldn't be that low, honest.

Gone are the days where I can wake up and just snuggle in bed with my comfy comfy blanket. I'm not sure I was even up during those times. I can just pry my eyes open and watch whatever junk that's playing on tv. I can watch cartoon network and the simpsons all day long. But NOOOO, when you join the WORK FORCE, you are supposed to tranform into this mature business-like adult. Watching cartoons and crap tv shows will be your secret life that only your siblings and parents should know about. Even then you have to make them sign an agreement never to speak of such a thing or deny its very existence in blood. Outsiders, including extended family who know about your secret life have to be silenced. Immediately. It would definitely spoil your chances of climbing the corporate ladder if they know, wouldn't it?

I can no longer order Happy Meals at McDonald's when I join the workforce, even though I would kill or give up a limb or two to have the toys. I will simply not lie that I have a few children at home who are bugging me for the toys. Waaait a minute. I just thought of the BEST excuse ever. I can just say that I'm on a diet and a child's serving is just what I need! Ok, this excuse will void this paragraph totally.

There will be expectations as well. Some people, especially asswipe relatives, will keep bugging you about what POSITION you hold now. They would think that it's like school, where you get promoted to the next level every year. Bleahz... I can sooooo imagine what their faces are when I tell them I'm still the lowly assistant. And that's if I get the position of an assistant in the first place.

Heard LucasFilm is opening in Singapore. God, I would love to work there. If you've been reading this blog, you would know that I want to work in this industry. Or the gaming industry. Again, I would give up my remaining limbs (leftover from getting Happy Meals) to get a job in either of the industry.

Anyway a lot of things will have to change once I graduate and get a job. I may have to pretend I'm this grown-up when I'm not. On the other hand, I'm looking forward to graduation! I've had it with education for now and I want it to stop. Badly. It's a catch 22, and I may just be trading in some bad for something far far worse than I can imagine.

Phew.

The family left on Thursday and it had been one of the busiest weeks for me. I put my life, i.e. my assignments and lectures, on hold to bring them out and sightsee. It was ok though... nothing much happened.

And I think my math test has gone to doggy heaven. I mean, it's so different from the tutorial and past year questions! Oh well.. it's over so there's nothing much I can do anyway. My presentations went well I think because the 2 lecturers who were there didn't complain much. My supervisor, on the other hand, took the Q&A session much too seriously. The audience had nothing to ask, so he VOLUNTEERED some questions. *shocked* We did out best and gave him some vague answers. I mean, c'mon!! Like I would know what series of Oracle servers are capable of spatial information. I don't even know what the question really mean. Bleah.

Right now I'm rushing my assignments. =/ I have 1 essay, 1 lab, 1 computing/drawing assignment and 2 actual computing (aka programming) assignments to do. I hate this semester. Seriously.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Freaky.

These few days are going to be uneventful, since I would probably be clearing my deadlines frantically before my family arrives on Monday.

I'm not lying, in case you think I'm just trying to blow things outta proportion. Let me outline the schedule for everyone.

Monday: Essay due. Family here. Entertain them. Prepare slides
Tuesday: Math test. Entertain family. Prepare slides
Wednesday: Entertain family. Prepare slides.
Thursday: Computing presentation.
Friday: Lab in the morning. Another lab in the afternoon. Thesis presentation.
Sunday: Computing assignment due.

I'm so dead. How am I going to do all that? I don't have any superpowers ok. *weeps silently*

And I had a weird dream last night, of a certain teacher. I have been plagued by dreams of this teacher for years I tell you. For years. God, I must be going crazy.

I'm sinking fast... Drowning. I seriously need divine intervention. Can anyone hear my pleas for help? *gurgles*

Friday, October 15, 2004

More quizzes.

Your Aeris
Your Aeris! You are a very caring and mysteries
girl. You always worry about your loved ones.
At first glance people might think that your a
happy girl with no worries but deep down inside
you are a confused individual. Believe in
yourself more, then you will conquer all.

Which Female Character from Final Fantasy Vii Are You?



You represent... apathy.
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.

What feeling do you represent?

Monday, October 11, 2004

Progress.

Good news. I'm currently on page 14 of my thesis report on GPS. Expected to write near the 25-30 mark. I'm sure I can bullshit my way there.

Had a chat while writing my report with a friend.. it's amazing to know that we've been friends for 8 years and counting. =D It's a long story... but the thing was we got to become classmates in jc. I'm soooooo happy. I know he won't read my blog so I can exclaim as loudly as I want.

I seriously wonder who actually visits this blog. I mean, other than a few of my close friends (about 8 I guess), cousin (only 1 visits this blog) and my brother, I can't think of anyone else. Hmmm...

Anyway I watched a documentary on the life of a 16th century Spanish painter named Diego Velasquez this afternoon. Pretty cool paintings I must say.. I present to you, Las Meninas.



The intriguing part is why Velasquez chose to paint the entire ceiling (the top half of the painting) when the focus was in the lower right hand corner. Also, his style of painting was groundbreaking. Notice how his subjects seemed to be looking at one point, as if posing for an unseen photographer. This is rare and unheard of in the 16th century.

Now we look at Da Vinci's infamous paintings, Virgin of the Rocks. Controversial stuff. He was asked to draw a picture of Mary, John, Christ and Uriel but when he came up with the drawing, it suggested something more*. This original painting was then rejected and he had to draw a more "watered down" version for the church.

The original, Madonna of the Rocks, which is now hung in the Louvre in Paris.



The "watered down" version, Virgin of the Rocks, which now graces the wall in London.



Artsy fartsy, isn't it?

*: This is actually quite controversial... you have to read up on this. I won't write what's wrong with it in my blog.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Boyfriend.

All of your friends are jealous and you know it. The boy is some romantic, he always can make a rose appear out of nowhere just to cheer you up. He often says you're his angel and%2
All of your friends are jealous and you know it.
The boy is some romantic, he always can make a
rose appear out of nowhere just to cheer you
up. He often says you're his angel and always
knows how to make you blush a dark shade of
red.

What kind of boyfriend would you have?

I wish. The picture is a little off though. Much much prefer the guys in Saiyuki.

Psychotic.

Stressed. Psychotic. Bored. Murderous. Irritable. Hungry.

I'm all of the above.

Just found out that my thesis report is due next Tuesday (12/10/04) and NOT 2 weeks later (26/10/04)! I'm f**ked.

okay, the entry was officially ended with the "I'm f**ked" sentence but what the heck. Don't want to start a brand new entry when I can pad up this short entry.

Just found out that JK Rowling is gonna kill another character in the Harry Potter series from www.msn.com. I'm beginning to get highly irritated because despite checking her website, www.jkrowling.com, multiple times, I couldn't find her official announcement on the Harry Potter news. She lied to us when she said she will update fans via her website. She didn't alrite. Lousy stinkin' maggot. How dare she cheat my feelings..

Extremely keen on Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children and Kingdom Hearts 2. KH2 has Auron, Mulan and gang in it!! Can't wait to play. Yet again, Square Enix loves to toy with my tender feelings and DELAY the release by another 6 months. *sob* I sound like the biggest geek by professing my undying admiration and love for any good CGI productions.

Read an article in the school weekly magazine on geeks/nerds. Apparently there is an inner geek in everyone of us. Yes, even the jock. If you like movies with great special effects, read (any kind of) books, know your computers (beginners - experts) etc. you can qualify as one. *gasp* Doesn't that make the entire world nerdy?

According to MY definition, nerds/geeks are the slouchy people who wear weird t-shirts, thick glasses, high-waisted pants with the shirt tucked in so tight nothing else fits in. Of course the heavy overstuffed school bag completes the entire picture. Anyway I have this notion that geeky people are the "purest" people around. It's a little like Amish people. Uninfluenced by the general public, tabloids and SOOO involved in their tight knit circle.

I'm still writing my thesis report. I'm currently at the "Introduction" page. I have about, 15 more pages to go. Basket-fied. =/

Anyone who's interested in helping me write part of my thesis, please email me or message me. I will be eternally grateful and will definitely shower you with undivided love and attention. =D Pervs need not apply.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Moody.

Not in the best of moods recently. Shit loads of stuff to do. Whiny people buggin me. Family coming to visit soon. Thesis presentation in the same week.

So many deadlines. So many headaches.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Beach.

I went to the beach today with Jo. It was nice and warm. Had my first tan (ever!!) on the beach.
We walked along the ocean line, from Coogee beach to Bondi beach and it took us close to 2 hours on foot! But it's so worth it. I'm thinking if I should add a pic of me in my new swimwear. I don't think I look particularly nice... but.. hmm...

This is a view from where I was lying at Coogee beach.



Along the ocean line, we get this great great view. Look at those frothy waves!!



This is me, can't resist taking a photo to prove that I was there. *grinz*



This is Bondi beach. Another one with the white frothy waves. Cool.



ok, this is me in my new swimwear. Note: That's not my tummy!!! It's just bad posture. =..(



I took a dip in the pool next to the ocean. The pool is filled with sea water from the ocean... it was so damn cold. My brain froze or something and I had this immense headache when I got out. Brrr...



It's not exactly the pool in the photo. The beaches in Sydney all have this rock-carved pools by the beach filled with sea water. We call it a "bath". Anyway I had a great day. ^___________^

Friday, October 01, 2004

Reality check.

My mind was wandering again, as usual, when I was supposed to write up a report and prepare for my projects and meetings. I guess people who visit this blog, already knows that yours truly is a very busy person! If you haven't notice, well I am a busy person. Extremely busy.

But that doesn't stop me from blogging, has it? No, instead blogging has become one of my favourite pastimes. Well, it's up there somewhere, after shopping and sleeping.

I did this self evaluation thing. In my head of course. I realise that I'm quite a materialistic person, as in I lust after all the fine, extremely expensive things no less, things in life. I mean, it's not WRONG to want the finest in life, is it? I want as many LV bags as I can lay my eyes on, fantastic clothes, accessories etc. I want a lot of things, which makes me the shopaholic that I am. But does that make me a horrible person who squanders away my parents' hard earned cash? I would like to think I'm not. At least I'm not spending their money on drugs or booze. I'm still the nice girl at home and I'm not breaking their hearts or anything. So why oppose to me spending? I guess that's probably why my parents don't really yell at me for spending an obscene amount of money a year on shopping. Well they don't yell at me, unless I chalk up a bill that is so substantial that it can sustain several Third World countries. Aren't they nice?

I am also a major procrastinator. You can probably tell by now. However what makes me different is that I'm a logical procrastinator. As in, I can tell you a hundred and one reasons why I rather blog/go shopping/stare at the ceiling/fold laundry than finish up my homework so that I can sleep early. If you are my project group members, don't you worry cuz I will still hand in quality work, as in A++ work even though I procrastinate so much.

I hate exercise. Period. I haven't done any exercise that makes me so much as to pant after my jc days. Actually it was since jc 2's physical fitness test. I hate it. Some people claim that exercise helps you slim down or something. Bullshit. Pardon the language because I strive to keep this blog cuss-free. At least from anyone but me. I digress. It doesn't work for me. No. I don't think I lost any weight at all. Never will I subject myself to gruelling routines just to lose weight. I rather wear more "flattering" clothes. I mean, why subject myself to that agony? Exercise makes you tired. You ache in places you don't even know exist. You pant unappealingly like a dog. You sweat till your t-shirt gets soaked. There are soo many reasons why I hate exercising that I rather not go into.

I also realise that no matter how I try, without resorting to major plastic surgery, I will never be Milla Jovovich or Kate Moss. =( What a bummer.

I realise that by now, I SOUND bimbotic. Actually I think the term "bimbotic" has been abused by everyone. C'mon. You have to be beautiful, heavily endowed, AND equally stupid to qualify as a bimbo. I guess some people will go "Look at her. She talks only about shopping and she complains so much. She doesn't know a single thing at all.. She's such an airhead.. etc. She's so BIMBOTIC. Eww."

Well, this is the biggest misconception isn't it? It also says a lot about people who think this way. Do you have to ALWAYS talk about work, how computers decipher text and converts them to bits and machine code, how GPS calculates your position using 3 sets of data JUST TO SHOW that you are anything but an airhead and a bimbo?! Do you think Stephen Hawking talks about black holes and parallel universes all the time to his friends?! Get a grip.

I shall stop now before I get so agitated that my headache comes back. Ooh, too late.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Metrosexual and such.

I'm piggin' out on kiwi gelato right now, shortly after I woke up from my long long nap. Actually, I overslept. I even missed my mom's phone calls. I shall make a mental note to call her tomorrow morning. *Making mental note* Done.

The stuff below may not be written in a politically correct manner. If men, sexuality and opinion are sensitive topics for you, please click close right now and leave, never to return.

I'm sure everyone is aware of the different categories of men. There's the straight guy, the gay guy, the bi guy, the snag and the metrosexual. Somehow I get the impression that some people have limited categories for men. There's only the straight, gay and bi since the snag and the metrosexual will fall under the 'gay' banner. For some, there's not even a bi category because they regard those men as gay, people who sell out the straight category by experimenting with the opposite camp. Is that right? Well as for me, the snag and metrosexuals belong to the straight camp.

Anyway I'm not here to categorize men, just to sort out the homo, snag and metrosexual peeps. Why are the snags and metrosexual labeled gay? To be honest, I'm not really a fan of snaggy people so I shall not defend them.

Metrosexuals
==========
The metrosexuals are the newest guys on the block. Despite the term 'sexual' in the word, it has nothing to do with sexuality so don't you confuse them with something weird that you just thought of.

Anyway this species take care of themselves well, sometimes even better than girls themselves. They know the right product for the skin care regimen and have several bottles of hair products to care for their crowning glory. Note: Shampoo and conditioner are NOT regarded as hair products, more of a personal hygiene essential. They work out. They make the effort to dress well. And they always look so well-groomed! Not a hair out of place.

Let's face it. These are the kind of guys most girls want. Why would we want a slobbering couch potato with questionable personal hygiene close to a 3 yr old, dressed in shorts and worn out t-shirts from yester-years beside us? These guys are not boyfriend material, so if you happen to own one right now, you might want to start training them now.

I digress. But my point is that a metrosexual is not a homo. You can't call a guy who takes care of himself really well gay, can you? No doubt, gay guys take care of themselves well too. Think the Fab 5 from Queer Eye. How do you tell if a metrosexual is gay? If he's holding hands with a man. If he sashays instead of walking. If he does the little hand thing, flicking it up and down like your usual tai-tais would. If he ogles at the gorgeous hunk of a man instead of Miss Universe when she waves at him.

I shall stop. Not because I have nothing to write.. ok because I have nothing to write.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Misconception.

It's the mid-term break and since yours truly still has no intention/motivation to work on her thesis despite the looming deadline (2 weeks from now), this article is published.

Note: I don't think the above sentence is coherent nor making any sense. I don't really know and I don't really care. Which is worse? =/ *shrugs*

I was talking to some friends and I can say confidently that most people have the wrong perception of what is sexy (or not). Many seem to think that sexy IS sleazy, which is so very wrong and unfair. Sexy does not come from showing acres upon acres of flesh a la Lil' Kim. If you don't know who she is, do a search on her and you will know. Sexy is not piling on the makeup till you look like a geisha when you step out into the light. You do not call the scantily clad hooker round the corner sexy. That is just skanky.

Personally I feel that sexy is a mindset, something like confidence. A person does not have to show skin to be sexy. Being effortlessly chic is the key.

Some people seem to think that sexy is not a COMPLIMENT, but rather an insult and a not-so-subdued wakeup call. Is that coming from years of brainwashing by misinformed folks or what? If you go "eww" when the word "sexy" is brought up, you might belong to the misinformed bunch.

Perhaps it has something to do with being in Asia, I don't know. Asians are generally more conservative compared to people in Europe and the US. The middle-eastern folks belong to a whole new category because they have an alternative perception of women. Think the Taliban and how women should not be seen at all. We shall ignore this bunch of people. Anyway most of us have been ingrained with the idea that sexy is bad since young, so bad that your soul might just burn in hell should you endorse sexiness. But we grow up. We see different people and different things. We learn and redefine.

Sexy does not equal sleazy.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Bloody photo-uploader.

I was happily trying to include pictures of my beautiful dream bags WHEN the 'Hello' software (recommended by blogger.com to upload photos) messed things up. It will upload the photo, but as an individual entry by itself. What the hell... You can't simply just put it in the middle of your entry as you like. Sheesh...

I spent like nearly 1 hour trying to figure out how to put the pictures into my entry, when I should be typing out my report. I was so excited to the idea of posting photos, but that excitement evolved to frustration, and shortly after, to utter disgust and anger. It's so user-UNFRIENDLY. But what can I do? There is nothing else out there I can use to upload photos to blogger.com.

Bleah. But anyway you can now see the beautiful bags. That's one good news. I shall add photos in my future entries. Keep a lookout for them!

Inner shopaholic.

The inner shopaholic in me has surfaced once more. And no I don't mean your regular shopping, buying-nitty-gritty-stuff-on-a-whim shopaholic. What I'm talking about here is the full-fledged addiction to shopping. It's a little like the kid you see wailing at the toys department because the parents refuse to buy the huge box of toy. Just that it's a lot more expensive now. And without that much wailing, smacking from parents and unwanted attention from onlookers.

It is a calculated scheme to get the thing you want, and more often than not, it costs quite a lot too. It can go up to as much as a poor worker's monthly salary (read: the near thousand region). You plan. You budget. You badger your parents/relatives. You beg. You will do anything to get it. Although you do all these with the end product in mind, the process to get it can be bittersweet and just as satisfying as well.

1. Months/years of saving only to realise you still aren't anywhere near that figure.
2. Badgering your loved ones for it for months on end.
3. Begging anyone who would listen.
4. Badgering anyone who refuses to listen.
5. Sobbing because you still don't have it.
6. Sobbing to gain sympathy from people around you, hoping they get it.
7. Sobbing to irritate people around you, hoping they get it to stop the racket you are causing.
8. Making promises that you won't ask for ANYTHING for YEARS should they relent to get it for you.
9. Breaking those promises once you set your mind on another thing.

The cycle goes on. At least for me. I usually start from step 1 to 4, and skipping all that to step 8 and 9.

Ok, speaking of my shopping addiction. I'm extremely excited about Louis Vuitton lately. I thought the phase has passed but I guess it is making a comeback. I have a few things in mind. To all you kind people out there who wants to make my day, please read on. To the rest who is not keen on getting them for me, please do read on as well, just in case you want to buy me something in the very near/distant future.

The first one. I would very much like bright red LV papillon bag. See the photo below. Isn't it fantastic?? It is SOOO adorable. =) I guess I better stop now before I sound overly bimbotic.



Here comes the second one. It's bigger and cute too. The one that Jessica Simpson has.



Sigh. There's actually more but I guess I shall not continue shocking everyone who's reading now. Let's close that mouth of yours, don't be afraid. Anyway I shall drop more hints to the people around me. Hopefully I can get them (or at least one of them) by this Christmas!!! Wish me luck. ^________^

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Personality test.

Took a test I got off Desmond's blog. =D To understand me better, please read the following.

You are Orange Wolf type, who is plain and simple.
You give an impression of being very clean and tidy.
You don't get shy and are open sort of woman.
You are very straight forward in that you do not really care about the others feelings and emotions.
Therefore people think you lack feminine consideration.
You are intelligent person, and have wide knowledge.
You will not be influenced by emotions and therefore can make decisions objectively.
You can express your individuality well, but in personal life, you tend to build a wall around you and will not let others intrude your life.
This makes you open to criticism.
You think high of your private life, and may not be able to see the situation you are placed.
You can make calm decisions, and your criticism may give a wrong impression of you, but really you are kind and generous person.
To those who can read your true feelings, they will appreciate your greatness.
You don't have any wicked feelings, and are person of pure heart.
You show humane generosity to people around you.
You don't care about public opinion, and you live your life at your own pace.
You will take time as long as you think is necessary before you come up with conclusion that you believe to be reasonable.
And once you decide on things, you will go for a long term version, and your result will be consistent and steady.
You can observe men well, and will choose by taking your future into consideration.
After getting married, you will be better at being a mother than a wife.
You will not depend on your husband so much and will have an ideal family.

Quite true. The stuff in pink and italics are the ones you should remember. I am all those things. I feel so great now. It's good to be me.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

For nothing.

Haven't posted anything in a week and I guess I write something just for the sake of 'updating'.

Nothing good happened in the past 7 days. Had 2 tests and I think math is not a big problem but telecommunications is. T_T I mugged. I went. And I crashed. And oh, I didn't sleep for 2 days.

Enjoyed relatively good weather this week, if that's any consolation. I can finally wear 3/4 pants and my white Birkenstocks out to soak up a bit of sun. Kept my hoodie on because it's still quite windy. Nevertheless, the sun is finally out and about in Sydney.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Body image.

Something's been bugging me for a long time. How skinny do you have to be to be healthy? Don't get me wrong, I can tell the difference between anorexic and obese. But how do you judge those in between? Does it mean that not fitting into a size M or S or even smaller, makes you morbidly FAT AND UNHEALTHY? I feel that our perception on the 'acceptable' range is way too twisted. Especially in Asia. Girls aim to be skinny, so skinny that they are flat-chested with bones jutting out painfully at the hips and shoulders.

Reading doesn't help you either. Consider all the girls' and women's magazines with all the beautiful people posing and on front covers. Some local ala singaporean celebrities (singaporus pseudo-celebritus) can even say things like "I eat only veggies because it has no fat. No fried noodles for me since it has so much calories! Do you know how much I have to work out just to eat a plate of fried noodles?!"

Note the word pseudo-celebritus. I don't regard them as celebrities because
1) they are as untalented as the moulding white cabbage in the dumpster,
2) they are no Hollywood success stories (working 4 jobs, waiting for the big chance to superstardom)

3) they earn peanuts and can be fugly. Think the Mok something woman. GOD.


Anyway my point is, girls should have the right to eat whatever they want. And they better eat everything, and not just steam veg with plain water just to look wafer thin. Fried chicken is finger lickin' good. Imagine the crispy skin crunching when you sink your teeth into them. Bliss.

Oh one last question before I end this entry. Does it help if I tell you I still fit into a skirt I bought in primary 6? ^_____^

Go figure.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Passion of the Christ.

Just caught the movie on dvd and it was riveting. Violent, painful and almost suffocating the resident critic with grief.

For all the Christians who have caught the movie at one point or another, they will probably feel either Jewish priests/people were ignorant then and sadistic, or they would just skip all that and feel so much more closer to God and their faith strengthened by it. It is almost as if you are there, watching the one person who has come to save you, suffer right before your eyes. You almost want to leap out there and put an end to all that punishment.

For all atheists or people of other faiths, you might feel that this one person, Jesus aka Yehovah(let's hope I get this right) , is either
1) mad to undergo all that suffering, or
2) deranged to believe that He is actually the Son of Man, or
3) pitiful to be subjected to those punishment

The movie is violent, not machine-gun-firing-amok kind of violent, just corporal punishment i-whack-till-you-bleed violent. The resident critic must honestly admit that apart from the violent scenes, she finds the flashback scenes, His unwavering dignity (courtesy of Jim Caviezel), and the pain of Mary extremely moving. The betrayal, acknowledgement, faith and kindness (of some people) will just bring you to the edge.

I find the lack of compassion and the push for violence gut-wrenching. No man deserves to be subjected to such inhumane punishment. It is sadistic to enjoy seeing a person suffer, and put him through more pain just because it makes them happy. Senseless violence. I believe the ultimate evil comes from man. Who else would take pride in inflicting great pain to another?

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Colorblind.

I like this song, Color blind by Counting Crows. I heard the song from the movie "Cruel Intentions" and I find the movie pretty good too. Something different from your usual teen flicks.

I realise that Counting Crows is a decent group. Their songs somehow have this ability to stay in your head for ages. Let me put it this way: You hear their songs all the time, and somehow you will go "Oh I've heard this, but I have no idea who sang it."

Learnt a new word today using Microsoft Word's synonyms. "Cavalier" -- offhand, casual

I suddenly want a pair of earphones, just for fun since the ones I'm using are not broken yet. Someone please buy me a pair of Bang & Olufsen earphones. I will be eternally grateful to that person, if I remember who buys it for me. =) Any volunteers? Better yet, just get me the sound system + cool lookin' CD player. If you don't know which one, please leave me a message and I will forward brochures to you, with the one I want circled in bright chili red ink.

It's ok if you can't afford it. You can make a charitable donation to "Buy Rach B&O Earphones/Sound System Foundation" via Paypal or just send me a cheque.

Monday, September 06, 2004

People who don't reply.

Just logged on and found out that this is my 61st post! I have a feeling that I'm a creative, proliferative thinker. Quite shameless to say that of myself. *shrugs* I always know that I'm constantly going through something in my head, be it trivial stuff such as what I'm going to have for dinner later, rehearsing in my head what I'm going to do step by step, task by task. Or thinking about important stuff like why is the world in such a sorry mess and why is china/us behaving like a big schoolyard bully/asswipe to every other country. Then again, I don't like China.

Anyway I digress.

In my 61st post, I would like to complain about people who DO NOT respond to you when you message them on msn/icq. What's up with these people?! If you are busy or away, please do not make yourself available to others. Answering other people a few days after with the excuse "Sorry but I was busy/away when you messaged me n-th day ago" just doesn't cut it.

Some people don't even reply at all. Period. They think they are the greatest gifts from God that they can just ignore your messages, no matter how urgent they can be. If you want to avoid some people because you hate their guts, please delete them from your list. If you don't want to talk to a selective group of people, tell them to stop messaging. Using the silent treatment is wasting both parties' time. Have the guts to tell some people to f*** off.

Personally I am sick and tired of this bunch of I-can't-make-the-effort-to-answer-you people.

False hope.

Just got back from school. Had a meeting with my team on one of my assignments so I brought my notebook to school. God bless this little piece of machine when it picked up available WIRELESS signals in school. Usually it doesn't pick up anything but ever since I updated Window XP's Service Pack 2, the wireless thing came to life. Whatever.

I was so excited when it picked up the school's wireless network... The thought of downloading movies or any extremely large piles popped into my mind. I was deliriously happy. With a sense of anticipation of what to come, I tried to access it and I was actually online. When I clicked on IE, it couldn't connect. I was confused now, thinking out loud like I always do, exclaiming loudly in the CSE cafe, "I'm online but I can't go to any webpages? I can't download mails off my Outlook Express?!?!"

And as usual people were looking at me, but I didn't care. I was too preoccupied with myself. What happened to my free internet connection?! My Saiyuki Reload, my Scrubs, my Queer Eye... All bloody gone!! I couldn't really shout out loud or anything since there were too many people around but I was genuinely disappointed. No choice but to continue my meeting. *sulk*

You might say, "why are you so cheapskate? Just register with the school and use the wireless network lah..." To all who are reading this, it COSTS to use the wireless network in school. They charge you a dollar per login. It is free when you visit website in the school domain, but other stuff like downloading mails to Outlook Express, visiting Hotmail or websites OUTSIDE of school, they charge you per kb. I am a poor student, alrite? No extra money to burn after all my other expenses.

Anyway I'm quite tempted to take shots of my uni, so that I can look back years later and congratulate myself that I survive 4 years of pure intellectual torture. Furthermore I think my uni is quite nice lookin', cool lookin' futuristic look with a dash of history (read: old buildings). Let's see if my Panasonic Lumix is up to it.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Good girl.

You Are a Good Girl!


You're into fun - but it has to be your own brand of fun
Drinking? No thanks. You rather spend your time differently...
Whether it's talking with friends, taking up a hobby, or reading
You're not the type to socialize just for socializing's sake!

Are You a Party Girl? Take This Quiz!



Guess I'm not a wild child. Just a very quiet stay-at-home girl. =/

Friday, September 03, 2004

Shoppin'

You Are A Total Shopaholic!

You have a keen eye for spotting trends before they are hot
And sometimes your credit rating takes a beating as a result
Consider a job in retail to subsidize your gorgeous outfits
Over time, you could become a famous stylist or designer!

Are You a Shopaholic? Take This Quiz :-)

I always knew I have it in me. ^____^ It's a higher calling.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Noise.

Shucks. Posted my previous entry before I got to the point.

Anyway I have this habit of playing something on my tv all the time. Not because I watch what's going on, but for the sake of having some noise and moving images.

I'm staying alone. And I have this thing about being alone, in dark rooms and empty house. My imagination will run all over the place, courtesy of watching too many horror flicks such as the Ring. Or I'll be ultra alert to the noises around me when everything is switched off, listening for footsteps of potential burglars. I'll freak myself out or go crazy.

Revising my telecommunications crap now. I don't know what's going on... what's up with amplitude modulation!? And single sideband and double sideband amplitude modulation!??! I haven't got a single clue.

The X Files.

Just caught the VERY FIRST episode of X files today on tv. The one where Scully was first assigned to investigate Mulder. Quite surprised. I have always been a X-philiac, quite the conspiracy buff I should say. Ask me anything, the All-seeing eye and pyramid + New world order (masonic symbols) on the US dollar note, ancient technology, Area 51 in New Mexico, conspiracy theories on Christianity etc. I can give you a lecture. If only there's a uni course or degree on this.

Some people think it's weird or should I say, blasphemous of me to be so interested in these things, especially on the Christian faith. I can only say I'm a curious person, especially on the what-could-have-beens. It's my hobby to read up on these things, and there are so many things out there that could have been a major cover-up. So major that we will not believe otherwise if we are told the truth. Victor always looks at me different, like I'm mad or something, when I get so absorbed while reading these stuff. He's the scientific one, the skeptical one. Hmm.

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