Thursday, October 28, 2004


Me, a hybrid?!

The Uptown Girl

I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better. -- Sophie Tucker

If her last name is a household word, like Disney or Kellogg, chances are she's an Uptown Girl with a trust fund the size of Texas. But it isn't wealth that defines the Uptown Girl, it's breeding and decorum (unless she's a Party/Uptown hybrid like those Wild On royals or the aristobrat child of a celebrity). A true Uptown Girl has Park Avenue taste and the manners of Emily Post, at least when Mummy is watching.

The Uptown Girl is a challenge -- one that requires a little more, well, money. Menus in this chapter are going to cost you more than the others because you will need a few premium ingredients to get this Girl's attention (read: oysters, caviar, and very expensive Champagne). If this is really the type of girl that you are after, you're probably used to this already. If you don't have the budget to support her tastes, we would suggest becoming a musician. Seems like those guys can always get women to buy them groceries.

She Might Be an Uptown Girl if:
She drives: a Jaguar, a Porsche, or a Rolls-Royce, or a limo with a driver and tinted, bulletproof windows.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: being a debutante.
She begins her sentences with: "When we were on Martha's Vineyard..."
She'd never: fly coach.
She owns any of the following: an exotic toy breed dog, Waterford crystal, anything from Tiffany's, real pearls.

The Progressive Girl

Moderation in all things, excess in nothing. -- Epicurus

Imagine that the Girl Next Door moved to the big city. Think of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She's America's sweetheart with an urban sensibility. She's a post-Christian spiritualist, a pre-Monica Clintonite, and a dues-paying member of at least one social-change organization like NOW, Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club. You won't find her at an Earth First or PETA meeting, though. Those are the Granola Girl's stomping grounds. Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way.

If you are going to date a Progressive Girl, the one sin you can commit is to be a chameleon. Molding your opinions to fit hers will lose her respect. One very positive thing you can do is offer her new experiences -- the Progressive Girl is fearless about trying new things. Whether it's pluralism, skydiving, Asian peanut sauce, or this book, the Progressive Girl is always looking for new ideas.

She Might Be a Progressive Girl if:
She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
She begins her sentences with: "Susan Sarandon says..."
She'd never: pass up the chance for a new experience.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.

On a lighter note, I'm a dark magician! I cast dark evil spells and curse people to suffer hell for all eternity. Do not cross me.

Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!

What kind of dark person are you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well actually i say thank goodness there's such thing as a hybrid. Imagine if everyone in the world fall into either category it would be so boring!!


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