Sunday, June 27, 2004

Swamped.

I'm terribly overwhelmed by work. =(

And because someone, ok El, said my blog entries are way too long, I shall keep this one short and give it to him in point form.

- I have so much to study.
- I'm having really bad thoughts about a certain teacher.
- I'm quite broke.
- I want a holiday.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

The rich kid syndrome.

Years ago it was "Clueless" that brought my attention to life in the fast lanes of Beverly Hills. I was thirteen then. It left me thinking when will the kids here get to bring cellphones to school at age 15, or buy Dior couture at age 15 as well.

Lately the content in the recent well-received movies and tv series has changed to a more dramatic tone sans the comical aspect of life in Beverly Hills. It's more like grownup "Clueless" without Cher's goofiness. I'm still interested but no longer unfazed at how 'unlikely' it is to happen around us. Life in the fast lane has finally arrived to our part of the world. Maybe not not as exciting but we're catching on.

After watching the OC and the trailer for "Mean Girls" that is playing on tv, I can't help but feel that this is just everyday life for many of us. Maybe not as filthy rich or good looking as the characters involved, but the overall feeling of the popular (ie. the jocks) pushing people around, the rich (ie. old money) looking down on everyday kids, the beautiful (ie. the REALLY beautiful ones AND the self-presumed "beauties") strut around like god-sends. Somehow we are lucky in a way because of mandatory uniforms, otherwise we will have fashion wars as well. Hypocrites pretending to like you, and the minute you turn your back, they backstab you. The ongoing competition of getting the 'IT' items at the moment. The wild parties. The categorisation of rich: old money, new money, not enough money, how you get the money. It's another world.

How 'unlikely' this is to happen in the sunny little island that is Singapore. Hmmm... then why are these scenarios so FAMILIAR?

Sigh, I don't know.. Just feel like writing these down since I feel like it suddenly.

Anyway, about the rich kid syndrome. Have you ever have the feeling that some rich brats have all the things that money can buy and their behaviours are nothing short of atrocious? Go watch the series "Rich Kids" or something like that. Forgot the name. Ally Hilfiger, daughter of Tommy Hilfiger, and I think some guy who really belongs to the OLD MONEY, think Rockerfeller clan, are in the show. Ally spends thousands in one afternoon in one of her 'normal afternoon day out". The guy who threatens another with one POWERFUL sentence, "Shut up. I can buy your family. Now fuck off." Wow. Classic. There is also an article called "Park Avenue Princesses" on MSNBC that goes on to show us the normal folks a day in the life of a park avenue princess. The expensive tea parties for 8 year olds, designer gifts for baby showers and so one. It's as if the rich are royalties, except without the title.

Can't keep my thoughts coherent. Don't think I have to write anymore since everyone knows at least a little about the rich kid syndrome or at least some rich brats among us.

Hell to property agents.

My property agent called me 4 times this morning, just to show me how inefficient and dishonest they are.

First call: they told me they couldn't find my deposit for the new apartment, even asking if I have paid or not. I told them I even got a receipt.

Second call: they told me they found the cheque, as it was filed under the FORMER tenant's name. Stupid people.

Third call: told me that the kitchen in my previous apartment wasn't clean enough and there were damages to the blinds. Either I fix these problems myself or they will ask someone to fix it, where the charges incurred will be deducted from my bonds. What the hell.. The blinds were already broken when I moved in! Had to shout over the phone to tell him that it's not fair that I have to repair someone else's damages when I did not cause them. He even dared tell me that he's not picking on me. Well it's his fault that he didn't know the previous conditions of the apartment! By regulations they have to conduct a 'condition report' of the apartment when I signed the lease. They did not. And I wasn't aware of such a check till now. What a ripoff. Now I have to go 'clean' the old kitchen in the middle of my exams.

Fourth call: asked if I have returned the keys when I already did. Better communication with your colleagues people!! Stop harassing me.

Curse these property agents.

No apparent reason.

Tried the Go-Quiz again just to see the different results on my name. Haha..


How to make a symin
Ingredients:
5 parts jealousy
5 parts courage
3 parts leadership
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lustfulness

Username:


I prefer the first quiz I took. It's on the sidebar. What's with the recurring 'Jealousy' anyway?? and 'lustfulness'?! oh god. *puzzled*

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Song.

Just woke up not too long ago, say 11.30pm. Downloaded a french song called Irresistiblement by Sylvie Vartan because Desmond recommended it. Very cheerful and old school pop song, circa 1980s. Copied the lyrics below from Desmond's blog. Didn't even ask him. Haha.. Des, don't be mad ok?

as copied from Des's blog:

here are the lyrics and translation to this french song from the ost of waterboys the movie. fucking nice. go download it from kazza or somethin'.

Irrésistiblement sylvie vartan

Tout m'entraine, irresistiblement vers toi comme avant
Tout m'enchaine, irresistiblement a toi je le sens

Comme le jour revient apres la nuit
Et le soleil toujours apres la pluie
Comme un oiseau qui revient vers son nid
Vers mon amour je vais aussi

Tout m'entraine, irresistiblement vers toi a chaque instant
Tout m'enchaine, irresistiblement a toi je le sens

Comme la mer qui frappe le rocher
Obstinement sans jamais desarmer
Par le malheur on est souvent frappe
Mais l'amour seul peut nous sauver

Comme la joie revient apres les pleurs
Après l'hiver revient le temps des fleurs
Au moment où l'on croit que tout se meurt
L'amour revient en grand vainqueur

Tout m'entraine, irresistiblement vers toi comme avant
Tout m'enchaine, irresistiblement a toi je le sens.

translation:

Everything carries me
Irresistibly to you, like the wind
Everything ties me
Irresistibly to you, I feel it

Like the day rises after night
And the sun always follows rain
Like a bird returning to its nest
To my love I also go

Everything carries me
Irresistibly to you, at every instant
Everything ties me
Irresistibily to you, I feel it

Like the sea batters the rocks
Persistently, without cease
We're often hit with misfortune
But love alone can save us

Like joy follows after tears
After winter returns the time of flowers
When you feel that everything is dead
Love returns the grand victor

Everything carries me
Irresistibly to you, like the wind
Everything ties me
Irresistibly to you, I feel it

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

One down two to go.

FINALLY. One of the hardest papers is over. It was Electrical Engineering stuff. I hate electrical stuff. Stupid op-amps and transistors. I hope I pass. I'll do anything to pass this subject.

I'm writing a piece on something, which will probably be finished after my exams. I've started on it and it's going ok. I will compile this piece(s) throughout my ordeal (exam season) and let's see how lengthy this piece(s) will be.

Just watched the FIRST episode of The OC. Great stuff. Gonna download it.

I'm so tired. Gotta sleep.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

5 minute sessions.

I'm broke and my purse is dirty. You heard me right. I don't use a wallet. I chucked my wallet somewhere because it's too bulky and opt for a little purse.

Just had a peek at my purse. It has lost some of the girly pink it had when I first got it. Oh my poor Coach purse. Shall clean it after my exams. I must take good care of it since it was a birthday present from a dear friend, Setsuko, who is in US. I don't even know when I will see her again.

Strange that my purse weighed so little. Did I just use all my coins? Hmmm... Took another peek inside my purse. It's frightfully empty. I've got a 10 dollar note and 3 coins to be exact. I'm so poor... Shucks.

Why am I writing a blog entry about my purse?

It's about time I stop neglecting my md and record something. It's been some time since I've last recorded anything worth listening to. Still remembered how thrilled I was when I first got my md. It's white in color. Totally rare. But it's been so many years (4-5 years ago).

Just tried to download some songs by Yellowcard on Kazaalite. When I tried playing those songs, they were all the same tune repeating for 10 secs despite being different tracks! I suspect it's some anti-piracy thing. Crap. And some mp3s are actually corrupted files. They will play until a certain extent and this period of scratchy sounds will take over. Eek. People should be BANNED from sharing these kinda files. A waste of time. Inconsiderate people.. Tsk tsk tsk. Listening to "This Love" by Maroon 5. I had to download this song 7 times just to get the right uncorrupted copy. Damn those users who share corrupted files. And despite the frustration from downloading this song and the repetition, it's pretty catchy. Hahaha...

Anyway Rick Dees do have a great list of what songs to download. I think he meant for people to go buy their cds but haha.. Kazaalite is the antithetical solution. Doesn't it prove that a performer is popular/talented/doing-something-right-at-the-moment if their songs are widely sought and downloaded off the P2P network? Encourage P2P file sharing! Hahaha... campaigning for the "P2P Movement". I bet everyone has downloaded something (mp3s, movies, sitcoms etc.) off the P2P network at some point in their lives. Good on you.

This particular blog entry is just my random thoughts. They are not coherent. I just type something whenever I feel like which explains how fragmented it is. I think I probably typed a little something (takes about 5 minutes) every 1 or 2 hours. Let's see how much I can write. I'm suffering from a bad case of zits. Having 5 of those red little painful bumps on my face. I haven't got them since the last exam. =( Depressing. I've been plagued by these buggers since sec school and they just won't leave me alone. Basket..

Enough rambling for a day. Surprised at how much I can put down in words. 5 minute sessions. Amazing..

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Support.

I realise that in some small ways, I'm actually quite lucky. I'm sort of going through a rough patch, the kind where things are going topsy turvy when they shouldn't be. I always thought my friends are too busy with their stuff. And when I'm depressed (sort of), they are actually talking to me about it, asking me if I'm feeling better or offering me advice when I least expected them to. Thanks peeps, for being with me. You don't know how much this means to me. You know who you are and I won't name names. =)

Put up a tagboard for fun and hope that this blog is more active. Haha..what a reason. I feel like putting up more links and stuff but I don't really have much time to fiddle with my blog. Wait 3 weeks and I shall try to revamp my blog. Watch this space.

Bloody neighbours... painting their house or stuff. Now the entire house smells of paint and it's making me giddy. Going to suffer from lead poisoning. =( I know this because I took a course this semester on safety,health and environment. It deals with the hazards around us. Fascinating subject. Don't ask why a computer engineer has to know all this. I know for a fact that most of the things around us are poisonous. Take your drinking water for example. The lead in it from your old lead water pipes are actually 'activated' when you boil your drinking water. And you thought boiling water makes it safer for drinking. I'm digressing.. but I'm very sure I'm going to have a headache soon. This smell of paint is driving me mad. Bloody neighbours.

Still studying my electrical stuff. Paper on the 22/6. Why is that I fully understand the lab work and I can put in resistors and what not with ease and be CORRECT about it, and when I have to do the exam I blank out TOTALLY? Must calm myself down and continue muggin'. Must call upon the rote learning skills I picked up during my education in Singapore. Hahaha.. Oh the regurgitation. I love my jc days, it was the best time ever. Red, blue and gold. I'm so fond of my school colors all of a sudden. Somehow.

I realise that support comes in so many ways. Firstly I would like to thank IBM for making such durable notebooks. I abuse my notebook and it's on 24/7. It's Sooooo stable, and thank god for not dying on me during the exam season. Secondly the reliable microwave for heating up my meals ever so efficiently. Haha..I'm going mad. Seriously speaking I want to thank my friends who are with me during this incredible period. Those who aren't, take note and start feeling guilty.

I'm such a selfish brat but I don't care.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Focus

Not very motivated on my studies at the moment. I guess I'm tired of revising. What's new. I have to go back to my studies in a moment, even if I don't want to. Don't really want to disappoint my family by screwing up this subject.. Sigh.

Just talked to a friend. Casual chit chat. He has come to the conclusion quite some time ago that my boyfriend and I are not meant to be together. Our personalities are so different and I sometimes feel suffocated in this relationship. He suggests a breakup so that I can move on and find greener pastures. He feels that I deserve better.

The thing is, my bf is a nice guy. He's the goody guy that your family will accept. He thinks everything is all peachy between us. Maybe it's the difference in personality that is causing me to reconsider, or whatever you want to call it. The thing is, I can't bring myself to breakup because basically he has done nothing wrong. Breaking up with someone when he has done nothing wrong doesn't make sense. Sigh... Dilemma.

What am I to do? Am I supposed to change myself, or just give up?

I don't know.


Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Going crazy.

I hate to sound all whiny and deranged but I think I am suffering from a bad bout of jealousy. I'm jealous of so many people. It's not something that I can even be jealous of in the first place. Somehow the resident editor got really affected and started imagining things. I seriously need to go see a shrink.

Jealous over someone else's attention and words simply spell lunacy. I get jealous and envious because he loves someone else more that he loved me, that's if he loved me in the first place. Does that make me inferior or something? Why is it that I'm not as loved? What did I do wrong?

And another claims that a girl has made him so happy and his life more wonderful than it ever will be, just because she's there with him. So does it mean that I don't bring joy to people? I wreck people's lives? What's going on?

I don't expect people to really know what's going on, or what went on ages ago to understand the situation. And seriously I don't expect people to do anything in return because there is no need for any return. I just, have this ability to think too much. People will say I have way too much time on hand. The thing is, I don't. Somehow these things just seep into the small crevices and present themselves to me when I least expect it. The confusion these little scenarios bring, makes me really upset. I feel so small, so insignificant and so unimportant. From a shrink's point of view, I may be suffering from either low self esteem or lunacy. Frankly, I think I am going nuts. Not suicidal. Just nuts. I should be concentrating on my studies and the upcoming exam, and not hallucinating on the what-ifs and whys.

Why is it that it's easier said than done?

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Harry Potter 3

Decided to drop off an entry on Harry Potter 3 before I get some shut-eye. I feel that it's a letdown, despite all the rave reviews about it being the best in the 3 Harry Potter franchise. Alfonso Cuaron did not do justice to the twists in Harry Potter 3. A lot of details from the book was left out and throughout the movie, there was a lot of repetition in scenes, which gave the movie a 'low-budget' feel. It's as if they can't afford to get better places or variety of places to showcase the intricate details as mentioned in the book, and Columbus succeeded where Cuaron failed terribly.

If you have watched the movie, you might remember the 'wooden' bridge scene. It appeared so MANY times. Why? Hippogriff was fine and the Patronus Charm was not as fantastic as I have imagined. The ending was crap. Ended with a screaming face of Daniel Radcliffe. Tsk tsk tsk. Very 'low budget' feel again. And what's with Malfoy? The sleek untouchable and sinister feel to him is gone. Now we have a blonde boy with a bad haircut. Sigh.. I thought he's supposed to be a 'prestigious' pureblood?! Where has the stuck up well-groomed bad boy gone? Sigh.

The lack of details in Cuaron's version made movie watching bad for me. Victor doesn't read anything other than comics. He doesn't touch books if he can help it, let alone read one. Throughout the entire bloody movie, he kept asking me about the details. He was fine for the first 2 because they were so idiot proof that no one would miss out anything if they haven't read the book. Thereby proving my point. Sigh.

J.K Rowling's creation is so successful because the readers can project whatever they want the background and settings to be. In the first 2 Harry Potter, it was almost everything I had imagined. The 3rd is a waste. Columbus should be back for the rest of Potter because he created everything from scratch. He would have a better idea and direction of how the feel of the movie should be. Since it's Cuaron, the resident film critic (me) give it 2 popcorns out of 5.

The film critic has decided to go sleep, and forget she ever set eyes on Harry Potter 3. She sincerely hopes that Spiderman 2 is not another over-hyped and disappointing movie.

Brain power, typing skills and manual labour

It has been a nightmarish week. The mother of all nightmares. I think people who are reading might have thought that I've given on up blog, or perhaps got kidnapped by aliens. Well none of that happened. I was just plain busy. Although my notebook is on 24hours a day, I didn't have the time to write anything unrelated to work. Let's have a sneak flashback:

Monday : Rushed Elec assignment. Officially signed the lease to my new apartment.
Tuesday : Went for Artificial Intelligence tute. Started on my AI assignment.
Wednesday: Still doing AI assignment. Packed up some of the stuff in my room.
Thursday : Still doing AI assignment till about 12am. Submitted it and started on my SESC1001 assignment, which is due friday midnight.
Friday : Began typing as soon as I pried my eyes open. I had been typing so much that my fingers became stiff. By the time I submitted my ENTIRE assignment, I was 5 minutes late. F*ck. 5% penalty but who cares.
Saturday : Went to watch Harry Potter 3 to reward myself. Went home and regretted like hell cuz I've got loads to pack. Thought that 2 little drawers of toiletries and some kitchen appliance weren't a lot to pack. How wrong I was. The itty bitty stuff took SO LONG to pack. Packed till 4am.
Sunday : D-Day. Movers came 2 hours earlier and I wasn't even finished yet. Packed my entire life, ok 3 years, into the back of a van and moved to new place. Spent 6 hours doing that and the boxes are still unopened. =(

I'm so tired. Never have I EVER had to do so much manual labour in my entire life. I moved so many boxes today and they were not small or light, mind you. Also regretted in my head that I bought so many little stuff that made today hell. My friend, Luke, was supposed to come and help me but that bugger did not appear or take my phone calls. I'm so going to scream at him later. If he don't want to help he can just tell me and I will get someone else. BUT HE DIDN'T. My poor poor hands. I've got many cuts and it hurts like hell when I wash my hands. Basket.

I feel so weak and whiny. Hahaha, complaining and complaining about stuff. Oh well, it just so happened that there's a lot to complain in my life recently. *grinz*

I've got so many little zits just waiting to pop out. I'm a psychic in this field since I've battled these little irritating things since forever. *weeps* And I'm bloody flaking. What the hell...

Has to start revising for exams which starts on next Tuesday. My worst subject Elec. Study, mug, cramp, and just 'vomit' everything during the exam Singapore style.

Shall write later when I'm awake. Going to sleep like there's no tomorrow.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Day of rest

I self-declared a holiday for myself today. Just because I needed it. And seriously, I did not do a single constructive thing today, other than getting food and remote control. And that's if you consider these things constructive.

Had not felt this well rested since the bloody holidays. That was about 3 months ago. Slept as if in hibernation and did not budge or crawl out of my warm warm blankie till I felt hunger. Warm warm blankie...

Read some interesting blog(my bro's and a friend's) and watched some junk on tv today. Can you imagine I sat through a fishing program, a home renovation program, Gilmore girls, Saturday movie:Men of Honor(bleah..), and late night news? And now infomercials are blabbing away. I could have gone out and bought something(part of my prescribed retail therapy) but I didn't because I feel immensely guilty about moving house. My parents have to fork out so much more for rent and we're not exactly filthy rich. *whimpers* Decided to be the grateful and filial daughter by sparing them from further monetary problems from my 'therapy' session.

Did a funny quiz too. Try it!

I am the Master of the Universe!
Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?


Added the link to this quiz website on the side. Explore when you have time.


Friday, June 04, 2004

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Today has got to be one of the WORST day of my entire life.

Went to school for presentation. I was so terribly nervous that I had a speech written so that I wouldn't get tongue tied. Agreed to meet the rest of my team for a final meeting before the presentation. As usual the China dudes arrived late, leaving us with 10 minutes to prepare for our presentation instead of the proposed 1 hour. If that was not enough, the smart alec changed the ENTIRE project without Victor's and my knowledge. Everything was NOT GOING as our initial structure!! Both our codes were unused. Then why the fuck ask us to debug till the wee hours in the morning?!

All our effort went down the stinky drain because of that son of a bitch. During the presentation he showed the examiner our 'working' program. And when the examiner asked us to show him the basic requirements of the project, the program did the following:

a) crashed and burned.
b) did something entirely different that asked, eg. undo the WRONG thing.
c) did something entirely different and THEN crashed.


Only a few of the requirements worked. And that's BAD. And since I was sitting next to the examiner I could see his marking sheet. It was VERY BAD. And I noticed that under the 'peer assessment' (<-you grade your peers, awarding marks according to their effort) column, the China dudes gave me a 2 out of 5!!! 0 means do no work; 5 means work shared equally among all; 10 being you do the most work and others did nothing. I was so mad. All my effort and they said I did NO WORK!? Being the sarcastic me, I voiced my opinion about this injustice to the examiner. He then proceeded to ask everyone what each did and awarded 5 to everyone. Fucking Chinamen, trying to screw my marks. I hope they fail their honours program and get deported back to Mainland.

In the end, my team got a 6/20 because the smart alec changed the entire program. And he DARED TO SAY THAT IT DIDN'T MATTER BECAUSE WE WILL STILL FUCKING PASS. He isn't the least bit sorry. I am so going to make him pay for it. 6/20!!!!!!!! Can you imagine how BAD it is? This project goes towards 40% of our final mark. and out of 40% i got 12?!?! He made me fail. *fukin' hoppin' mad*

This is so unfair. Victor and I worked like hell to get everything working. Just because of this China man thinks he's the smartest gift to mankind, he had single-handedly caused us to fail our project. If only he let us know what he had been up to. NO WONDER he didn't reply to the group mails and inform the rest of the progress. HE MADE ME FAIL.

I AM SO MAD. GONNA DEVISE SOME PLANS TO MAKE THEM PAY FOR THIS INJUSTICE.

I HATE CHINA MEN. MAY THEY BURN IN HELL. SUFFER FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. AND I'M NOT SORRY FOR CURSING THEM.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

China men.

I'm so done with China men. My group is due for presentation and the stupid china men just replied my mail that they are NOT ANYWHERE NEAR COMPLETE FOR THE PROJECT. #$%^&*

They don't want to 'tell' us because they think we WON'T BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THEIR LOGIC. They are so going to make me fail this subject. I want to kill the 2 china guys now.

Pissed off. DIE AND BURN IN HELL!

I hate China guys. SO ANGRY.

I was rushing another assignment just now. Some AI stuff. Why is the computer so damn stupid? I have to write a program that recognises English grammar and understands a passage. But this cranky thing only works whenever it likes!! It's already past due date. I guess I'll work on it and get whatever works best. =/ Things are NOT looking up for me.

Went to the agent's office this afternoon regarding the apartment thing. It's confirmed. I'll sign the lease next Monday and I'll be moving next weekend. I'll be extremely busy so I'm not sure if I can post anything. But then again I always manage to post something. Hahaha blog addiction.

And since it's 1.36am now, I have about 12 hours' time till my project presentation. I hope the 2 Chinamen finish the project. Otherwise I'm so going to skin them alive, and send them back to China. I'm actually quite nervous about the project. Failing or not doing well for the project would mean that I fail this course. *sob* I don't want to fail, and certainly not because of the 2 China-mama.

I hope everything goes well for the presentation later. *fingers crossed*

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

House moving: The Two Apartments

It is set.

I'm moving! It's confirmed. Going to tell the agent I don't want the apartment anymore tomorrow. And hope he doesn't tell me there's a 1 month waiting period. I don't have that kinda money to pay for 2 places. We shall see how things go.

Just completed my share of the project, except for 1-2 small problems so I guess I still made some progress. Enjoying my banana + strawberry smoothie now.... Yum. How I wish I'm at some tropical resort now. I need a break desperately.

And since I'm on the topic of moving, I'm thinking of what furniture to buy. Maybe I'll get a dining table since my ex-housemate took the dining table, actually the entire living room. Now that I'm moving, I'll probably go Ikea or Freedom to get some cool lookin' furniture. You guys can browse the website and help me pick something! Leave a comment to let me know what you pick. Hahaha.. I regret not being the interior decorator I wanted to be. I'll be the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dudes all rolled into one character, but I won't be a guy and I won't be gay. Ok, maybe not all the Fab Five, since I can't really cook and I'm not exactly the culture vulture.

For those who are not sure who the Fab Five are, you've missed out on the best show you can possibly watch. It's educational(guys learn that they are not the only slob around), and with some major makeover and cleaning, both the guy and his den can look showroom perfect, with character and culinary skills to match. I don't think they show this in Singapore or Malaysia, since everyone is not ready to accept that homos dwell among them and being gay is morally unacceptable. I mean, that's their personal life and no one can criticise their choices. It's not as if you have to join them. It's a bit like religion. No one should judge a person because he/she chooses something different from you.

Going to do some furniture browsing. =)
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