Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Totally weird.

Had this extremely weird dream last night about an ex jc classmate. Shall not name names anyway. He actually got down on one knee, fished out this Tiffany blue box with white ribbon, and popped the.. Oh well.

I think I'm too stressed. And my poor notebook has been working overtime since I've decided to rip my own dvds so that they fit onto cdrs. I don't have no dvd burners you see. >.<
Some people will just tell me to download the entire anime, but I'm using dialup, just so you know. Downloading one episode take hours. Saiyuki Reload has 25 episodes. Sigh.

I think it's going to take a while before I get the entire anime. Bleah.


Monday, August 30, 2004

Freedom of speech.

Had steamboat for dinner at my place today. Yum~ Didn't know that it's so damn easy to make. Shall make another one this weekend for Victor's birthday.

Doing this essay on freedom of speech for corporate media, which really got me thinking. I would really hope for a greater freedom of speech for the corporate media, but would I want them to air everything irresponsibly? Freedom of speech. By stating how much freedom they have is an irony to the word freedom. On another note though, would I want the media to air programs with content that might incite racial hatred? It IS their right to freedom of speech. If the freedom of speech is denied, are we supposed to just accept censored and biased information that is handed to us by the government? Isn't that the same as brainwashing?Quite a dilemma on whether to grant absolute freedom of speech or not.

My quote for the day:
Limited freedom is hypocrisy in a free world

Anyway I would support free speech anytime. Living in a suppressed world is no fun at all. A person's perception of reality is a result of their beliefs. In today's age, many of those beliefs are in some ways formed or influenced via the mainstream media. Since the programs we get to see in SOME countries (you know where) are so heavily censored and pro-government that it lacks an alternative voice, I can't help but feel that we are being brainwashed. I can't stand the fact that our thinking is controlled by the government. We are capable of thinking. Think, people!

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Day off.

Cleared my deadlines ahead of schedule!! This is so rare and so I awarded myself a day off before embarking on another gruelling week.

Wanted to go out and do some window shopping + real shopping but I woke up too late and no one was free to go with me. Sigh.. even though I didn't get to go anywhere, I'm still glad that I finally have time to myself.

Had beef sukiyaki for dinner!! Yum..somehow Victor decided to take me out for dinner since he ruined my retail therapy session. So full now. And they are showing the Fifth Element on tv!! I like this movie, just because it has Milla in it.

Anyway gotta do some revision since I'm going to have several tests soon. Will definitely go shopping tomorrow!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Cookie-cutter world.

I wish to be different. Not shockingly weird. Just different.

Just like my blog. It's a true reflection of what I think. Most of the time anyway since I can't blog every single minute of everyday. Some people find it extremely boring, and they expect a blog to be some sort of a creative outlet. By NOT doing something utterly creative, say writing an online journal (of sorts), these blogs are a waste of precious space. Why do people expect such things from a person anyway? When I ask people if they have a blog or what they think of a blog, I always get replies such as "No since I don't have any interesting stuff to write about", "I'm not creative enough for a blog" or "Nowadays blogs are all the same. All about life (or lackthereof) of a person". Hmm..

Was chatting with a friend recently. He went on a 3 week mission to help out the poor in Indonesia. He finds it a thoroughly enriching and fulfilling experience. I'm actually quite envious because unlike him or all those self-sacrificing people who help out the sick voluntarily, I lack the expertise and the courage to put aside my life for a month, not to mention a year, to go help others. I feel so small next to these self-sacrificing people.

People expect you to work after graduation. They expect you to live up to certain expectations. Maybe it's the asian mindset or something but people do expect you to find a good job at a respectable company after graduation. Work your way up to management level and accomplish everything in life. I wonder what they would say if I really do put aside everything to travel or do voluntary work.

I bet they would give me the look. Just like the time when they found out I screwed up and had to leave the country. It doesn't pay to be different in a place where they expect you to follow a certain route like everyone else.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Previous crush.

Hmm.. it's so unlike me to publicly acknowledge this but I have to say that I used to have this thing for this particular guy who is currently in the US now. Maybe it's the stress that's crushing me, the probability that I'm going crazy or the fact that I just spoke to him.

I've known him since I was 15 and after O levels he left Singapore for the States. We kept in contact briefly over the years.* Now thanks to msn messenger, we can chat more often now.

*(He even sends me xmas card, not the ecards, but real ones. Less and less people send REAL xmas cards, which I find more heartwarming than e-cards. I know it's the thought that counts, but to send a real card would mean more effort, right?)

Anyway I'm pretty amazed at myself to publicly declare that I had a thing for him. People who are close to me, say my brother or cousins, would have deduced who in the world this person is by now. To all you others, keep pondering if you wish.

I hope he doesn't read this, or I'll die of embarassment.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Drowning.

Can you hear the gurgling sounds? That's probably me, drowning in my work.

I have 6 deadlines this week, for everyday of the week other than wednesday. Shall keep my 50th entry short.

*more gurgling, choking sounds coming from afar*

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Beached whale.

Have you ever seen a beached whale? I have, on the news that is. Hahaha.. it's nothing funny but oh well, me and my twisted sense of humour.

Was on my way home 10 minutes ago when I passed by the school lawn. Usually on a fine day, people would sit, play and sleep on the lawn. Anyway there was this plump dude who promptly lay down on the lawn and spread his hands and legs wide, making weird noises as if he's enjoying the morning sun. The thing is, it had been raining all night and the ground is soggy. He's laying there like a beached whale making noises like "Ahhh...". What? He enjoys the mud? I don't get it at all.

i just walked past, thinking to myself how weird a guy can get when I came across a couple laying on the lawn. It's nothing unusual here but imagine this exact scene in your Singapore neigbourhood park with bird poo. Eww.. Ok, back to the couple. The guy was on top of her and snuggling up to her like you would do to your teddy bear. On a fine day, people would go "Aww" but we are talking about mud here. There's nothing romantic about basking in the sun on the wet soggy muddy school lawn.

Just my observations. Not being bitchy, JUST telling things as it is. =)

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Math is shit.

I hate maths. Revising for math test now only to realise my tutor SKIPPED one entire chapter during tutorial, and that chapter is included in the test. What the f*ck?! I have nothing to refer to, no example to SHOW me how it's done and I'm havin' the effin' test on Tuesday morning.

I want to burn the math building to the ground. Burn, building. BURN!!!

Website gone.

Just back from grocery shopping. If you've read the previous entry you will know and 'understand' that to study well, you need full nutrition. So I went off to buy food BEFORE continuing my homework.

Just realised that my favourite website, www.talkingcock.com, is down!! For some unknown reason I can't load the website. Bleah... For people who don't know about the website, please do not jump to conclusions that it's those sleazy xxx sites. =) I can totally see some people squirming right now. In Singlish, it's just a bunch of boliao peepur talking cock about stuff in Singapore la..nothing wrong one. Very funny website ah... go help support support a bit by reading their articles la! Confirm laugh until you stomach ache.

My Singlish has climbed a few notches after reading those stuff. It's about the everyday life in Singapore, especially politics, in an extremely homourous tone. Satire at its best, since it's the local language and details that make is soo endearing, especially to people overseas.

Go support support la! Once it's back la..

Boring Sunday Afternoon.

It's 1.19pm and I'm at home, thinking if I should just go out and walk around some shopping complex (too cold to go to beach) or just be a hardworking student and start doing my assignments. I haven't go much choices, have I? Somehow I'm having problems making up my mind.

The tv is on now and apparently Australia got a gold for thr 4x100m women's relay. Oh yeah, did I mention I missed the Olympics opening? It was supposed to be on tv at 3.30am Aussie time. I fell asleep at 3.15am. BASKET. Then I had to read the papers and found out it was quite spectacular. Ancient Greek mythological figures meet Las Vegas extravagant style. Oh the agony.

Anyway I'm a big procrastinator. I have things to do but somehow I will FIND something else to convince myself that I have to do that first. For example, I am having tons of work and my desk is extremely messy. My brain will convince itself that in order to be more productive, I have to clear my desk so that I can concentrate without the clutter. Afterall no one works well in the midst of mess, right? I will jolly well spend the next 1.5hours clearing it, happily re-reading my opened mails so that I can sort them out in alphabetical order. This cycle will repeat whenever I have to bring myself to do work.

Gotta NOT be such a procrastinator!!

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Quidam.

Went to catch Cirque Du Soleil's Quidam today. It is quite good. Those performers can twist and bend their bodies as if they have no bones. Quite amazing.

I've watched a couple of Cirque's shows, all in Vegas other than Quidam. The ones is Vegas are more spectacular and big scale. Very fancy stuff. Like "O" and Mystere. The tickets are sooo hard to get. Literally the hottest tix in town. But it's sooo worth it. Those people can somersault and land on another person's hand. Freaking crazy in my opinion. Quidam is not too bad, considering they only have this giant tent to perform under. =) Anyway I wonder how long they practise before the performance.

Read the Straits Times just now and found out that Cirque actually employs Olympians for their shows. You know, those that retired or something. Synchronized swimmers, divers, gymnasts etc. I always said those performers could jolly well go join the Olympics if they want to. Now we know Olympians actually join Cirque. There is LIFE after the games.

For people in Australia, catch Quidam if it goes to the city near you. For everyone else, just pray that Cirque goes to wherever you are.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Family visit.

My aunt and uncle were to visit me on Monday. Went to pick them up from the airport and spent the next 2 days with them. It's great to see your family when you are stuck in a god-forsaken place and you badly need to see familiar faces. I stayed with them at the hotel and it was alright. They just dropped me back home before heading to the airport. *sigh*

We ate so much these 2 days. I think I gained some weight. I still feel full now. (12.32pm Wednesday) Anyway it was good seeing them again. My aunt kept asking me if I wanted to buy anything, but funnily I said no. I really really couldn't think of anything to buy. Usually I would have jumped at the chance. Great chatting and catching up with them.

I miss them already.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Trip to hospital.

I was in the hospital for the 3rd time in my whole life. This doesn't include the times I went to visit, only the times I'm there for medical help. =( First being the day I was born, and second being the time I had my back problems checked out.

I was crippled by severe stomach pains this afternoon. I couldn't walk a few steps without feeling the life sucked out of me. I wanted to throw up but I couldn't. This went on from 2pm to 5pm, when I finally decided to go to the GP on campus. The stupid nurse then told me the clinic was closed and I had to go to the hospital. I could hardly walk man... Called up a few friends to come drive me to the hospital. A few students who saw I was in pain stopped to help me too. Thank god for them.

Anyway I waited for my turn for 2 hours at the emergency room. And some trainee doctor jabbed me 5 times just because she couldn't draw blood. Later when a senior doctor came to see me, he told me the blood test wasn't needed since it couldn't be appendicitis or anything. =( Told me it's just muscle pain. How could it be!?!? Anyway the jabs were painful... Was put on a drip and now I'm home. Was told to go back tmr if pain persists or worsens. And it's 12am now.

Going to sleep. I feel so terrible at the moment. Sigh.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Friends I don't talk to.

Just feel like adding one more entry.

I've got people on my icq, msn and truth be told, I don't usually talk to most of them. I'm always on invisible and it's not that I avoid them, it's just that I have either too much work or I don't know what to say to them. =/ Some of them have abandoned icq altogether and haven't been online for the past couple of years. Some, well, think that if you message them out of the blue, you are a stalker/psycho. People read too much into things. It doesn't pay to be friendly I tell you. Sigh... I think they have forgotten how we have got onto one another's icq/msn list at all. We used to be friends and we wanted to keep in contact. Now look at the situation. Message me, tell me about the weather or what you ate for lunch. Aren't we all friends?

I miss my friends, even if we don't talk at all.

Tough semester.

Well, just got back from the school. Met with 3 lecturers to dicuss my thesis topic and enrolment issues. FINALLY things are starting to look up, well, a bit.

I got a pretty interesting thesis topic. It is no longer the game as mentioned earlier, but I'll be doing something on GPS/GSM and server stuff on fleet management. In simpler terms, it will be like monitoring where delivery trucks are using the satellite. Sounds pretty good actually. At least I'm doing something interesting.

Next off I went to see 2 stupid CSE lecturers who finally allowed me to overload this semester. Usually people take 24 units of credits, but this semester I'm taking 30 units so that I can graduate in time. The school director (1 of the lecturers) was actually advising me against it because the chances of failing is higher when you overload because you cannot cope. But if I don't I will stay another semester, which will make quite a scene at home. =/ What choices do I have anyway? Anyhow he said I could overload and it's my choice, so if anything crops up ie. fail, it's my own damn problem. Bleah. When is it HIS problem anyway?

Anyway I'm doing 30 credits, and that's 7 subjects. I feel the noose around my neck tightening.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Boring Sunday.

I am really quite bored today. Too poor to go out so I spent the entire day at home, tidying up stuff and stoning. Waited till it's 6pm to catch something funny on tv. Simpsons was funny as usual, so was Newlyweds. 7.30 to 8.30 was Australian Idol and frankly, I don't like that program.

I was pinning my hopes on 8.30pm movies when I found out that out of the 4 watchable channels, 2 were horror flicks (The Others and Ring 2), 1 was some footie crap and the other was fuzzy. Sigh... nothing to watch on tv. I don't have the guts to watch either of the 2 horror flicks on tv. Facing Sadako or that ghostly trio in the others simply makes me wanna crawl under my blanket and hide.

I shall hide now, for Ring 2 is quietly playing on my tv screen.


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