Wednesday, April 27, 2005

No Newspapers No More.

No newspaper! Do it the garang guni man way. "No newspaper!!"

I just have to add that in. For kicks.

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I haven't been reading the Singapore online newspaper for ages because I can no longer access The Straits Times since they impose a monthly online subscription.

Can't read the forums and laugh, can't read the weekly columns and can't update myself with more news on which carpark is the most expensive in Singapore anymore. Ahh... Those were the days. *wipes tear and looks up into the sky and reminisce some more*

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Ok I made up the last one about expensive carparks. But seriously, the forums are hilarious. People write in to bitch about the waiter who failed to serve them promptly, and to "counter" (read this while doing the finger-quoting action) another reader who said something AGAINST the country and its latest law. Really. These people are soooo self righteous and pro-government, I'm not sure if God has the power to turn them away when they show up at the pearly gates as non-Christians. I'm sure that if He does turn them away, they will bitch till Hell freezes over and Satan/Hades will beg God to take them in to stop the ruckus.

There we go.

Anyway I found out that ChannelNewsAsia provides online news but I don't find the stuff as entertaining as The Straits Times. CNA is quite wily too, because some of the stuff are actually premium content and only people who pay can access. *Rolls eyes* Maybe it takes time to get used to. I'm not really sure.

On another note, I find Slate magazine weirdly entertaining because they have articles with headings like



Who Counts the World's Icebergs?And why don't they count the "bergy bits"?



It would be something close to what I am wondering about. I mean, the tone of it... It's uncanny. And the word "bergy". I like the article already.

Another interesting article



The Pope's Gag Order



I mean, the first thing that comes to my mind is, "Whoa what has the new guy done to be slapped with a gag order?! He's the biggest and most powerful guy next to the Big Catholic Guy (BCG) up there. If the BCG comes to Earth then BCG would trump Pope guy hands down. No questions ask. Who has the nerve to make that guy shut up?"

In case you don't know, the current Pope is a new guy because the previous one went to be with the BCG and they finished the papal election in record time. Oh his name, Pope Benedict XVI formerly known as Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany. I know my current affairs and whatnot.

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Anyway it turns out that the new guy has not been slapped with a gag order. He, and another guy, placed one on all catholic bishops to zip up on the sexual abuse by the clergy for 10 years while they carry out their own "investigation".



The pope's gag order: In 2001, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger "issued an order ensuring the church's investigations into child sex abuse claims be carried out in secret," the Observer of London reported Sunday. The letter by the future pope, composed jointly with Archbishop Tarcisio Bertone and sent to every Catholic bishop, "asserted the church's right to hold its inquiries behind closed doors and keep the evidence confidential for up to 10 years after the victims reached adulthood."



Hmm... how come I don't see such a thing happening for Michael Jackson's case? I mean, MJ and his chimp buddy, Bubbles can investigate for 10 years if MJ really did molest those boys before telling anyone, right?

So a Roman Catholic religious body has the ABILITY/RIGHT to conceal abuse from the legal authorities? I don't get it. How come I don't see Buddhist, or the Kabbalah people with their hipper-than-thou red strings campaigning for that?

Anyway I like reading, with the exception of textbooks and certain boring magazines. I hate textbooks because I think textbook writers and the university (or any schools) all over the globe are in cahoots to screw us students over.

No doubt they have to write about difficult topics and subjects like "Amplitude Modulation" but why can't they just give it to us in plain simple English? You can put it in such a way that you don't lose your audience, ie. the students, somewhere at the 4th word of the first sentence.

Please use simple non-technical English while writing. Explain to people what EXACTLY is going on before you sum up the entire process as "modulation". Same goes for biology. Telling people that the heart has 2 ventricles is not enough. Seriously. Who the f**k knows what the hell that is?! Explain what a ventricle is before you bog down the reader with incomprehensible techy/medical mumbo jumbo.

I think textbook writers are doing this on purpose to boost their ego for knowing difficult technical words. Showoff.





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