Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I don't want to go.

Right now, I don't really want to leave.

I have a good mind to call my parents to tell them I'm postponing my flight till a later date. I just want to spend Christmas at Martin Place/St Mary's Cathedral

and ring in the New Year at the Harbour Bridge.

Maybe then I'll be ready to say goodbye.

Then again, when January comes around, I'll be finding it hard to leave again.

I have spent 4 years here and though I have had my ups and downs, this is still the place I feel comfortable in. The place I'm familiar with. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

But given my circumstances and lack of personal finances, I can't stay here and I have to relocate back to a foreign country where I don't really know where I am most of the time. I can't even speak my own national language.

However all good things must come to an end. Eventually I will have to go home, whatever the reason it may be. I will have to close this chapter of my life and dive headlong into another.

Believe me, I really want things to be the way it is now.

Perhaps it's better to leave when I am not insanely crazy about Sydney.
Perhaps it's better to leave and look back with the greatest memories.

Perhaps it's better to put an end to this when we are still sane.

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