Monday, January 31, 2005

Personality quiz.

You scored as Intrapersonal. You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists.















The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences

Thursday, January 27, 2005


I write long posts, don't I? Shall keep it short today.

My inner child is ten years old today

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)High
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's" Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Hitchiker's Guide to My Galaxy.

I live on a planet in the Solar Galaxy. It is believed to be the only planet capable of sustaining life. It's called, primarily made up of water...

Sheesh I'm not even sure that came out right.. solar galaxy? huh? Gotta ask some primary school kids on this. I seriously do not remember if the above paragraph is correct. Do not remember that for any exams. I kid you not.

I've decided to reflect on my life, whatever you want to call it. A brief guide for everyone and a word of caution: it's not pretty.

Anyway I'm at this point in life (mid twenties, gasp!) where I'm stuck in an office, staring at the computer screen wondering what the flying fish I'm doing with my life. I don't want to turn out like my bigot of a supervisor. Stuck in a deadend job, brainwashed and a religious fanatic at that.

Didn't I set out to join the greatest gaming/movie company ever when I first chose my degree? Didn't I promise myself that I'll see my name at the end credits of a game/movie? My second greatest (ok.. backup) dream was to join the fashion industry and sweep everyone off the Manolo-cladded feet. But until they start hiring people with a Computer Engin. degree, I'm sure as hell screwed.

What the heck has happened to all that?

I seriously feel rather dejected and indignant. Dejected cuz my life hasn't gotten anywhere at this current stage (ie. not a millionaire yet) and indignant cuz my pesky colleagues dared to lecture me on family planning.

pesky colleague: so do you intend to have kids when you get married?
me: *what the heck face* erm nope.
pesky colleague: why? no wonder SINGAPORE'S birth rate is falling.. it's because girls like you refuse to have babies.
me: **double the effect of "what the heck" face** Errr... because of the pain?
pesky colleague: wah if your parents think that way, then you won't be here today.

What the giant flying effin' fish is that all about??!?!?!?
(Note: I lurve giant flying effin' fish. I'm not dissing any fish in particular.)

I lack a life. Period. Between commuting back and forth m'sia and s'pore for working purposes, I hardly go anywhere because:

1) I'm far too tired. Try waking up at 6am everyday.
2) I'm not paid for my internship. Sponging off parents at the very moment.
3) I do not like to take public transport. Unless you are willing to send me anywhere in a car, I do not wish to step out of the house and into the hellish heat outside.
4) I don't really know what to do when I go out.

Isn't that just plain sad?

Hmm.. congrats on getting so far.. Well you have read about the sad/depressing stuff mostly and I have decided to CHANGE that image! Let me show you that I'm actually a contented being with nothing but everything to be thankful for.

First off, I'm rather healthy. Sure I haven't moved a bit since I graduated from junior college. And I think it was the last PE lesson sometime in July 2000. Oh well. I'm healthy in the sense that, I'm not suffering from cancer or any other deadly diseases. Till I go for my next medical. I'm not morbidly obese, though rather prosperous in the middle section at this very moment. It could be the 2 red bean buns, noodles and tea I had a while ago.

I have friends. Well, mostly from my pre-uni years. University is just so... different. I mean, I've basically uprooted myself to another continent. 4 years.. a little too fleeting to make any close friends, isn't it? (2 yrs of JC is different la, and don't you bring that up)

I mean, I'm gonna leave them as soon as I graduate right? They are definitely not going to lay down their lives for me, are they? *ponders for a moment* =/

Oh... *reminds self* I'm a contented person... riiight riiight. Moving on!

I have my family, who somehow thinks that I'm incapable of murder, even if they witness it themselves. They would think that the guy must have provoked me and in reality, he would be this huge baddie that by killing him brutally, I'm actually saving the world by killing crooks one at a time. Sweeeeeet.... Well I have a nagging feeling they dote on my brother more, but for self-delusional purposes, I believe they like us both equally. No point crying and being sore about this, eh?

Oh relationship-wise, I have someone who adores me just as much when he sees me without any forms of makeup/cosmetic illusion/when I'm breaking out in zits/when my thunder thighs are.. thundering for a lack of a better word. Wow, isn't that amazing?


What makes me happy: see "What makes me unhappy" and don't do any of those.

What makes me unhappy:
1) long distance economy class flight tickets
2) nagging
3) preaching
4) being poor
5) suffocating environment
6) zits
7) bigotry
8) foul stench from the banglas or malay factory workers
9) rowdy children. Makes me wanna smack them right there and then.
10) unconstructive criticisms
11) any forms of failure
12) backstabbing me
13) negative unforeseen circumstances
14) flab
15) alcohol deficiency

It's a short list. I won't bother to continue since there are so much more things out there that piss me off. *shrug* I'll keep you posted.

Can't think of anything now. Anyway I'm announcing the launch of "My Friends of 2005". Recruitment starts now. Interested parties please contact me. I won't be conducting any recruitment drives. Come and don't miss out on this fantastic opportunity!*

Gotta go back to 'work'. Boss approaching. Over and out.

*Hello Kitty soft toys not included in membership.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


i bloody fucking hate my supervisor. Yes. The same bible-toting narrow-minded SOB. The guy who said his god is better than all the other gods out there. Fucker.

I fucking got the Excel to appear automatically with a spreadsheet to display results from an SQL query after so much research and hard work. I even showed him yesterday and he said "ok that's the way."

And this fucking morning he walked over and said "hey this is not the way. look at the sample I HAVE WRITTEN and try and do it THAT WAY."

FUCKER. He's wasting my time and effort by not pointing it out yesterday. He even approved it. Now he's going back on his fucking word. I fucking hate 30+ narrow-minded, bible-toting SOB.

May he rot in hell forever. He is soooo going to get there because of his bigotry. Just fucking rot in hell.

Monday, January 24, 2005


Is it alright to give out your friend's contacts to another friend of yours when he asks you for it?

Apparently Guy meets Girl when you go out on a mass supper thingie. Guy is intrigued by Girl. Guy asks you for the Girl's contacts. You ask Girl's permission. Girl amazed and flattered by the change in events. Girl says ok to exchange contacts.

Do you give out the contacts then?

I mean, if she got stalked/bothered by Guy after you gave out her contacts, will be partly responsible and guilty as hell?


Tuesday, January 18, 2005


I had a revelation while I was on my way back home today.

There was this couple that boarded the train at Dover and they are apparently students of SP. They were standing at a corner near the door, totally immersed in their tiny little world and ignorant of the curious gazes (me) around them.

This is a brief introduction of what went on. I lack the necessary words needed to paint such a "romantic" lingering scene befitting of a taiwanese drama.


The guy was twiddling the zipper of the girl's jacket, and the girl was leaning against the door, gazing with her tired eyes at the guy. There were a couple of hugs and such. When it was almost time for the girl to alight, the guy was clutching her shoulders, as if reluctant to let her go. The girl, was gazing back at the guy with such tenderness that I was half hoping she would get teary-eyed to complete the picture.

The guy's fingers were now barely touching hers, and he was having that "I-love-you-and-I-hate-to-see-you-go-but-I-understand-you-have-to-get-home-for-dinner-by-7pm" look.

My guess is that the girl was besotted with him, which could be the only reason that she STAYED ON until Jurong East interchange, so that they BOTH had to change trains. From Clementi to Jurong East, he was stroking her hair as if she was about to die/vanish or something.


My goodness, this scene is so saccharine-charged that I almost went into a diabetic-induced coma.

They are behaving as if he's going to the front line and she's to be shipped to Africa, never to see each other again. Only thing is that they are most probably going to see each other the next day.

I realise that I'm not the kind of person that can stand such behaviour. I call this over-reacting, and it's not the least bit touching. I'm all for public display of affection, but such mushy stuff just gross me out.

All together now, "EWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."

Monday, January 17, 2005


Woke up at 5.30am just so that I can hitch a ride with my friend, Wenwei and his mom to work. Well I don't usually do this, but I haven't seen Wenwei for 2 years and I'm sacrificing sleep JUST to see him. We're talking about sleep here. I need at least 8-10 hours per day, and any amount less than that renders me cranky, and very often, murderous. Anyway had breakfast (something I haven't done in a long time) and a good chat. And guess what, I may be going on a road trip this weekend!


Haven't "inform" my parents yet but I am 90% certain that I can make it. Everyone's graduating this year and I guess we won't have the opportunity to go mad once we step into working life. This will be the most valid and heartfelt excuse ever. Complete with teary eyes. I'm going to market this as a "wholesome nature tour", complete with nature trails and tribe visits. Sans mahjong, alcohol, and crazy antics. I'm tingling with anticipation now.

Airfare and beach resort? $400
Alcohol? $100
Petrol? $20
Spending time with your friends? Priceless.

That's so MasterCard-ish.. haha dun care la. I can't wait for Friday to come. White sandy beach beckons me!

* The above pricing are approximates and are in ringgit. Pricings are subjected to change and I do not hold responsibility for the validity of the prices. Any sponsors are welcomed.

Friday, January 14, 2005


This is yet another incoherent post.

'Talked' to JC crush last night. Usually I'm the one who starts talking first, but he started it yesterday so it's a historic moment for me.

That comes across as really pathetic. *shrugs*

I'm not that into him anymore, but I do wonder, why am I still 'celebrating' such moments? Am I still the immature 17 year old (then)?

Apparently my supervisors are ALL missing this morning. I'm not sure if they have a meeting somewhere or they are all sick on the same day. They are all not here, which is both a good and bad thing.

Good: I can slack like I just don't care.
Bad: I shouldn't slack like I just don't care.

See, I do have a conscience.

I writing some program for the company. My codes are perfectly fine. But it displays a bar chart even though I specifically wrote codes for a pie chart. It always displays a bar chart despite all the testing (ie. pie, line, scatter..).


One thing though, my jc class yahoo group thing doesn't look promising. I check my mail frequently to find out if anyone joins it, and the number now stands at 6. Out of a class of 20 (at least). Not promising at all. Maybe it has something to do with me losing the contact list of my class. Crap.


The above was written this morning when my supervisors were not around. They came late for work for unknown reasons. One has gone missing again after lunch and the other is working feverishly. With his head and nose so close to the monitor, I doubt he can see or care what I'm doing now.

It's Friday and I simply can't wait till 5.30pm.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005


Well guys, we made it to Wikipedia. Check it out, here.

I can't help but feel a sense of pride and belonging everytime I think about the school. It's weird.. a little bordering on nationalism, but on a school basis.

ACJC probably shaped who I am today, and I'm glad I'm not (really) one of those mass-produced-cookie-cutter kinda person. I'm crazy, semi-ambitious, moody, well, everything rolled into one. The school and the people accepted me (I think) for what I am, and never was I once "advised" on what I should be like and how I should change etc.

My friends and family noted a change in me. Or rather they see me as a much happier person. My brother and I are close, and I think part of it has to do with the school. We are of the same wavelength, being immersed in the same culture and all. Most people I know hate their jc life. School was a pain, but the people in it didn't make it better for them.

Which other school has a smiley in the middle of the driveway anyway? Or a swimming pool on the 2nd floor of the damn building? Does any other school fine its students for walking on the track? Oh, and which other school got 'slammed' by some minister as a 'snob'?


Honestly I don't feel this way to all the schools I've attended. A few of them, ok just one, are best forgotten. The pressure to become a person you don't want to be, to not speak your mind, to subject yourself to ridiculous school rules best left for a communist regime.. the list goes on.

Anyway I like my school lots.

"Come grow old with me, for the best is yet to be."

Monday, January 10, 2005

Random thoughts.

I am facing a dilemma. Life and death situation.

Should I get my dream bag and live like a pauper for years (ok, maybe months) to come? Or should I just forget about it (for the moment) and save like a woman gone mad just to get it?



Oh, the train ride today made me think about a few things. Ok just one thing. What if The One (TO) finally responds positively while I'm still with The Possible One (TPO)? Should I just stick with TPO just because he has always been there, or should I go straight for TO? Both are equally nice, it's just that TO has been the one you've been dreaming about since 18.


This is giving me a headache.


Oh did I mention I may be getting a pet rock? That's after I made a passing comment that I don't have a pet. No fish, let alone a cute puppy/kitten.

Seriously. I have no pet. And I would really appreciate a puppy. Preferably a golden retriever or a Jack Russell. Or a kitten.

I need a pet. For 2005.


Question of the day: If Sirius Black and Voldy had to fight each other, who would win?


Friday, January 07, 2005

Release dates.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.

2005 is going to be a blast!! For extremely good movies, that is. Omg I can't wait man.

I'm going to provide a list of release dates* for all the movies that are worth watching. Note it down in your organiser, get your tix early. Hit me with the flicks!

1) Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith
Date: 19 May 2005
Wow factor: It's Darth Vader! C'mon... let's watch him take over the entire galaxy.

2) Batman Begins
Date: 17 June 2005
Wow factor: 7 years after the flop, they are going to stick to Batman's early days. It's going to be great. Oh, he has a cape. Basically I'm there to watch Gary Oldman. My hero.

3) Sin city
Date: 1 April 2005
Wow factor: Another comic to big screen flick. Then again, I lurve comics.

4) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Date: 15 July 2005
Wow factor: Johnny Depp is proving to be one talented person. With Tim Burton directing, I believe the magic that was "Edward Scissorhands" will be repeated.

5) War of the Worlds
Date: 1 July 2005
Wow factor: Steven Spielberg. Oh, and Tom Cruise. 'Nuff said.

6) Mr and Mrs Smith
Date: 10 July 2005
Wow factor: Brad Pitt trying to snuff Angelina Jolie. Hmm..

7) Memoirs of a Geisha
Date: 16 December 2005
Wow factor: Can't put my finger on it. How about Zhang Ziyi? Or maybe it's a famous book?

8) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Date: 18 November 2005
Wow factor: Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman and Ralph Fiennes. 3 of my favourite men in the same movie. Fiennes as Lord Voldemort. I want to call him Voldy. I'm hyperventilating.

* = I'm assuming they are releasing the movies on the same day worldwide. Release dates subject to change.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Star Wars rules.

This is a dream come true. I'm going to frame this and put it beside my bed.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Much ado about nothing.

Omfg I hate my current intern job. It's so boring and I'm fearful that I may die any moment from boredom.

I thought I won't be able to blog or surf the Net to read up on useless pieces of information once I start work. I guess I'm wrong. I blog more frequently and I read the Straits Times Interactive faithfully everyday to while the time away.

I am fairly repulsed by my own dreams. I am STILL having weird dreams about a certain teacher. After all these years, he is STILL making regular appearances in my dreams. Erm please do not equate weird with kinky because that's even more repulsive. I'm not sure where he is now but what the hell... Dreaming about teachers is NOT a good thing.

Actually some people find teacher-student relationships "immoral" and plain wrong. I don't actually see how bad it can be. =/ It's just 2 person erm, in love or something.

Eww.. did I just write "in love"? I gross myself out. I am a person who detests such Hallmark worthy phrases, and any commercialised forms of love. With the exception of Tiffany & Co. jewellery.

Oh, then again if the teacher is a perv then too bad la. Otherwise it's perfectly alrite for a teacher to date a student. Don't bring up the age gap issue because if Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher can make it, so can we.

Seriously. Who dates a teacher anyway? I don't see teachers dating. Do they date among themselves or they don't date? Anyway I don't know la..


Just had a talk with Meng on msn. Hahaha, I'm skiving and most of my friends know. I seriously miss the days in JC. Best time of my life. A bunch of us would happily go to chalet and have fun, and rush back to school all the way from Pasir Ris the next morning in sand covered flip-flops.
God, I wish we can go on those 'chalet' trips now. Just for the weekend, and I'll be eternally grateful. I need to relive those days to regain a little bit of vibrancy to my otherwise mundane life.

It should be rather apparent by now. I lack a life. I lack the energy to push myself everyday. This serious deprivation of, well everything, stems from the stupid secondary school I attended. I pushed myself so much so that I was having a Panadol habit, and was experiencing physical discomfort everytime we were going to have a test (minimum 4 tests a week). I gave up after 2 years, and have given up since.

I need my life back.

"I want so much more than this."

Monday, January 03, 2005


I wanted to name this post "Christians" but then again I don't want to get slammed at for being biased or whatever words anyone can come up with. It would be more appropriate since it involves the Christians at my workplace.

Somehow I feel they are a misguided bunch. I have nothing against Christians, let me declare this again lest I get bumped off by some fanatics. But their insensitive comments and guillibility (??) never cease to amaze me.

Here's a recap (not in verbatim) of what have been exchanged during conversations:

Them: "Did you realise that almost all of the countries hit by the tsunamis are Muslim countries that have persecuted Christians?"
Me: "Most Thais are Buddhist and I thought most Indians are Hindus? Surely they did not persecute Christians.."
Them: "Well, it is evident that God is protecting His people, that's why those who are badly affected are non-Christian countries."
Me: "Are you saying that other religions got whacked because they are of other faiths? How about all the caucasians who died while holidaying there?"
Them: Silence.

Goodness how callous and ignorant can they be? This is definitely not a religion thing. People from all walks of faith are affected, not just non-Christians. I hate it when some people think they are above others because they are of a certain faith. What the heck. I'm sure religion is not there as a benchmark of comparison. It's not competition in the playground, dude. It's never "my god/religion is better than your god/religion".

Why do I feel like slapping them so?

Today at lunch, the same colleague (who found out that I don't believe in God, but believe somewhat in higher powers) kept 'promoting' the Bible to me. He has been doing that ever since he knew I was a non-believer. Especially after the tragedy because he believes that God has already mentioned this in the Bible. Bah humbug. I want to tell him badly that no amount of promotion, and no one, certainly not him, will ever ever convince/convert me to the Christian faith. Definitely not by repeating stuff such as:

1) "You know the tsunamis and the earthquakes? The Bible already predicted it will happen. The Bible is written almost 2000 years ago, you know. It's amazing how accurate it is. Now do you still doubt the fact that it is written by God?"

2) (after the tragedy) "(said something about the tragedy).. The end times are coming. The Bible has already said so."

3) (after I said that the Bible was written by men) "But it is God's words. His disciples and followers wrote similar stories about Jesus, even though they wrote their accounts a few centuries apart. They would not have the chance to 'agree' on certain aspects since they were not able to discuss it."

Christ was a powerful man who brought great faith and inspired kindness to people, I'll grant you that. But to be so blind and ignorant, I just find it a little unsettling. It is as if every other religion is wrong or inferior to theirs. C'mon.

If I choose to believe in a higher being, I want to believe it in my own terms. Forcing it down my throat will only bring about the gag reflex in me, and I will shoot it down completely.

I just wish that these holy shakers will leave me alone.

Donation drives.

Why do people treat donation drives as an outlet for discarding old and broken stuff?

I seriously do not get this. I mean, if you do not have the intention of helping, please do not 'donate' just because everyone else is doing so. I've heard news reports of inconsiderate asses donating expired canned food and torn clothing to the victims.

That is not right people. These donation drives are not an outlet or solution to your rubbish. Dispose of them yourselves and don't disgrace yourselves by turning them in as forms of donation.

I'm not saying that all donors are like this, or that donors should only donate brand new stuff or something. I understand that some people cannot really afford to give much and they would still like to help nonetheless. It's alright to donate used clothing. Used clothing in good condition. Faded colors? Ok. One size too small for you? No problem. Don't wear it too often and it still has several years more to offer? Bring it on. Holes? Please dispose in the correct receptacle.

Where's all the goodwill in the world? Isn't there any left from the festive season?


The editor of this blog has been violently ill for the past 3 weeks.

Due to the condition of her illness(es), the blog may or may not be updated as regularly as she would like it to be. Please bear with us during this immensely difficult time. Keep your fingers crossed that she is not suffering from:

1) Dengue fever
2) peri tonsilar abscess (pseudo diagnosis given by a doctor-to-be)
3) anything more serious than the above 2.

She would also like to remind all readers to donate generously to various charities, and sincerely appeals to everyone out there to NOT just donate to the tsunami victims and reject any donations made out to underpriviledged children and families. She has witnessed this first hand. Many people will ask what the donation is for before making one, and if the money doesn't go towards the tsunami victims, they won't donate. Please do not forget the sick and elderly who also need help.

Please give generously. Happy new year to everyone and let's all be safe and sound this year.


The following post was written last Wednesday on my notepad. I forgot to post it since I was on 4 types of prescribed drugs, and woozy the entire day. God I hate being sick. I am still various medication by the way.


I really can't help but feel that we are really not doing enough to help those disaster striken countries. Singapore is donating about 2 million dollars and the United States is donating 35 million ("in the initial stages till the costs and extent of the damage can be better estimated") at the moment.

35 million sounds a lot... but seriously... 35 million is only equivalent to the money the US government spends in 6 hours in Iraq. Only 6 hours worth of money. This is from a credible source. Check it out here. If MGM Grand can spend US$1 billion investing in Singapore's casino, surely the US government can fork out more in the "initial stages". That's when lives could have been saved with the amount of medical supplies that US$1 billion can buy. Go figure.

2 million freakin' dollars from Singapore... that's so little. A rich dude in Singapore already has more than 2 mil in spare change but the government can only fork out 2 mil from their 100 billion national reserve?! Talk about being stingy.

I have a grand dream. See, Singapore has a population of slightly more than 4 million peeps. Let's say only 1.8 to 2 million are working while the rest are children and elderly who do not have any income. If the government enforces the 1.8 to 2 mil peeps to each donate $10, we would already have 18 to 20 million in donation! It's 10 times more than what the government is donating. How about that people?

I have a dream, people. I need to find out a way to start a foundation or emergency fund. Maybe we don't have to force people to donate $10. How about this, for every dollar the public donates, the government matches it. Even better, the government doubles the donation for every dollar donated. I'm sure that people can do much much more than what we are doing right now.

Is anyone with me? Tell me what you think.

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