Monday, February 28, 2005

Ce qui si je fais?

Haven't been updating this blog for quite a while. A lot has happened and seriously, I am not sure how to put it all in words. Let's just say,

my industrial attachment has ended,
I attended a great party(woohoo~~~),
got back to Sydney,
and I heard some astonishing news from a couple of friends (not so woohoo~).

I shall narrate a story I've heard. Tell me what you think.

Guy A and Guy B are friends. Guy A introduces Guy B to Girl. Guy B actually makes a move on Girl. Guy B is very sweet to her and Girl is actually very touched by his gestures. However Girl turns him down tactfully though she's slightly interested. Girl and Guy B remain as good friends after the confession and discussion.

Guy A has always been there for Girl. And up till recently, didn't realise that he had a thing for Girl. Told Girl about it and was shocked that it was actually mutual. But they have decided to keep it well-concealed because they both have partners they have been for years and it's far too long for them to screw it up. They have decided to bury this and wait it out for the years to come.

Guy B may have suspected something because he is ignoring Guy A and Girl. Especially Girl. They used to talk everyday endlessly and now he seems to be avoiding and ignoring her. Girl is saddened by this turn in events. And Girl doesn't know who to tell this to.


It's such a complicated story I don't know what to advise her. Shucks.. I feel awful.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

My Jap Name.

My japanese name is

原 Hara (wilderness) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).

Take your real japanese name generator today!

My jap name is so pretty. =D


"He stroked and twirled my hair gently with his fingers when he thought I was asleep."

Friday, February 18, 2005

Greatest Crush.

I feel incredibly light-headed today... Everything so clear, and yet blurry all at once. It's like staring at the pebble in a stream. You can see the pebble alright, but the water makes it all so ill-defined.

Now I could either know what I'm talking about, or so amazingly happy and having this moment of astute awareness about everything, OR it may be the flu pill talking.

I have a feeling it's both the pill and the normal illogical rambles that go on incessantly in my head.


Now, let's talk about something that's unrelated to pebbles and streams.

Enter JC crush number 1. To read about him, go to here.
I still believe that he's the Greatest Crush in My History of Crushes For All Time. With my kinda short attention span and the tendency to lose interest and give up after a short period of time (say, 4 weeks tops), this one lasted almost 2 years. And occasionally, I still believe that he's one of the greatest thing on this planet.

Back to the story. Dreamt about Greatest Crush last night. Apparently we were good friends. As in really good close friends who you swear you will lay down your life for. There was a big friendly hug (!!) which in reality (as in real life. Flesh and blood.) will never happen unless there's death involved or a particularly tearful farewell. Hmm.. gotta stage the tearful farewell to find out about this.

Ok.. moving on! We went on to get this cool squarish Tiffany & Co. band as OUR FRIENDSHIP BAND (!!!!!!!!). I'm excited and over the moon about the ACT of getting a friendship band, and not the T & Co. factor. Though normally it would be the other way round. Anyway he stayed on to watch me perform something (school production??), and beamed ever so happily for me from the audience. Oh man oh man oh man.

Now in reality, most people know that I cannot perform anything. I don't know how. I don't have the talent and I don't have the guts. But this dream has gotta rank among the Hall of Fame of Incredible Dreams.

Chance of getting a hug: 5-10% depending on how sad the situation is.
Chance of getting a friendship band: 0%


I'm running outta ideas to write about, and I guess this Greatest Crush thing has been a recurring theme. Well, it's not as if I can help it, can I?

I'll think of something, I promise. If I don't, I'll just do more quizzes. At least it's something.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Relationship test.

eXpressive: 2/10
Practical: 0/10
Physical: 1/10
Giver: 0/10

You are a RSIT--Reserved Sentimental Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Archetypal Older Child.

You are a hard nut to crack. You have a wicked sense of humor. Despite your reserved nature, you are more comfortable (and successful) in the meeting and courting mode than you are in a long term relationship. You feel misunderstood, and usually you are.

When you're in a good mood, you're funny, fascinating and a sexy firecracker, but when you're in a bad mood you are moody, broody and impatient. In courtship mode, you don't have to let anyone see your moody side. If you had your way, even in a long term relationship you would have enough time apart to deal with your bad moods yourself; unfortunately, it rarely works that way.

You stifle *a lot* of anger and frustration -- from all areas of your life -- so when it comes out it comes out nasty. More than any other type, your conflicts tend to turn on one tiny thing -- the dishes, the laundry -- that's really a scapegoat for your larger dissatisfactions with your relationship. You're baffled that your partner just can't do the dishes -- your partner is baffled that it's such a big deal. The only way around it is to let the dishes go entirely and try to get at the real root of what's bothering you.

I'm making you sound like a bear, but the fact is that you're so warm and charming most of the time that it effectively offsets the times you're unhappy.

You will make a weirdly good parent.

Don't pair up with someone who'll make sexual demands of you. That's just not going to fly at all.

Of the 199294 people who have taken this quiz, 5.3 % are this type.


Gawd.. is this thing psychic or what?! Soooo accurate.. but what the heck, my scores are all so low. Bah.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


I have previously written on inflated egos. And I still find that relevant to me nearly a year later.

I'm not sure if this is put correctly but it doesn't really matter if you are happily attached or single. The attention and affection from another member of the preferred (or opposite, whichever you prefer) sex is always an ego booster to a person. Some may find it a strain to cope with such unwarranted attention, especially from a creepy fella, but more often than not, people feel confident, warm and toasty on the inside because someone has finally paid attention to them instead of the attractive people who are all around them.

It's the feeling of being wanted. Not by the law enforcement people. Now that brings out another kind of emotion in people, primarily fear.

There are about 64 billion people in the world. I'm not bluffing.

World 6,418,856,47105:54 GMT (EST+5) Feb 15, 2005

Most of the time you feel you are invisible. Unspecial. Insignificant. So much so that those easily depressed people kill themselves. You know, those people in Japan who often kill themselves? Yeah, those depressed people who feel they are so insignificant that they are better off dead. I understand what that feels like, as if a mere speck of paint on the gigantic 400 by 400 ft wallpaper. Not even a motif. Just a tiny speck.

Now this is where attention and companionship come in. It makes you feel that you are NOT alone and your existence actually mean something to another person. Anyway I'm making everything sound far too serious and psychotic.

My point is that someone actually notices you. It makes you feel so special because another human being ENJOYS your company and WANTS to be with you. You got it. If you're getting on age, say mid-twenties, it means you STILL got it.

Doesn't that just inflate your ego? Or put a spring in your step?

My ego got deflated slightly and I lost the spring in my step a few days ago. =/

Cest la vie.

Monday, February 14, 2005


It's Valentine's day today and I'm sitting in front of my notebook sipping juice, glancing every now and then at the clutter around me, and dateless. Unfortunately for me, this is all happening at the same time.

There's something about today that makes me feel sad. I don't like the flowers or the chocolates. I just need the company, preferably my friends. Especially after seeing countless lovey dovey couples professing their undying love and passion for each other in front of me.

That's the thing about Valentine's day. I rather spend it with friends than my bf. Spending it with bf will be so awkward.. It's like a race between other couples about whose bouquet is bigger, better and more pricey. Or who's eating at which overpriced and under-valued restaurant. Or who's spending what to get the best gift ever.

I don't like it at all. It brings out the worst in us on this supposed day of lurve.

Spending it with friends is more casual. I can eat McDonald's and still enjoy myself without sweating the bouquet/dinner/gift/program part. We can laugh ourselves silly looking at the couples around us, who are trying way too hard to outdo the couple next to them. And the couple next to the aforementioned couple.


And I'm considering picking up tennis for a very odd reason. I want to learn it so that I can spend more time with my friends. They play tennis feverishly and in order to be with them more, I reckon I should take up the sport too. Hmm...

The thing is, Wenwei is leaving soon. He intends to work in London for a couple of years before deciding on where he wants to live. I think London has a higher chance. Anyway the last time I saw him was 3 years ago and I suspect the next time I see him will be at least another 3-4 years later. I miss him already.

Another fella I got to know through WW is Alwin. Funny guy but too bad I'm leaving for Aus soon. All the more reason I should pick up tennis and play with them. After graduation, I don't think I can be as free as I am now.

God I'm getting sappy here.


Oh I had a dream about a certain CLASSMATE of mine now. Good grief. The teacher dream is gone and now the CLASSMATE is getting prominent. Oh man oh man.

I'm going through yet another "Jerry Maguire" phase now. Every time I watch the damn movie, I feel like I should go find a guy who will say "you complete me". And the Bruce Springsteen song will start when I get so moved and start getting teary.


"You complete me."

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Fashion (lackthereof).

After a trip to the pantry and back, I realised I could no longer ignore the brutal reality that was staring straight at me the entire time.

I simply cannot tolerate guys with zero dress sense.

Seriously, I thought I always could. That's maybe because the guys I hang out with dress casually, and I thought to myself, that doesn't really look smashing but oh well, I can take it. Now? Nooooooo... I realise my guys dress quite well. After working at the office for almost 2 months, I realise guys can do worse. A LOT WORSE. So bad, it gives a new meaning to the word bad.

We need Webster dictionary to come up with a better word here. Fast.

High waisted trousers? Ugly shapeless shirts? Horrendous-looking fake leather shoes with the 'leather' peeling away? The worse is not over yet, my friends. Now wait for it... Jacket that's made out of some parachute material in GAUDY COLOURS. Oh, and a ah-beng/ah pek handphone pouch hanging at the belt. I don't know which is worse. This is an image I want to forget. Badly.

Good grief.

What is wrong with these men? I mean, they are not THAT out of touch with my generation, are they? Most of them are in their 30s so their fashion sense ought NOT to be that ridiculous. I do think they earn a considerable amount and remember, clothes maketh the man. A little Shakespeare here.

Look like the person that you want to be, and project that confident and powerful image. No use wearing something cheap and awful, and get mistaken for the lowly office assistant when you are the general manager. Think, people. Think!

I shall do a little math for them (given their age and position), lest they bring up the topic of wasting money/not enough money.

Month salary after tax = $3000
After family expenses = $1000
After putting aside some savings = $700
After food and transportation = $250

These people can have about $250 a month of spare change. In a year,
$250 x 12 = $3000

Now $3000 buy you shitloads (pardon the language..) of stuff. I can buy a LV Multicolore Speedy and we'll STILL have a couple of hundreds of change left. Now assuming they don't buy their wives/gfs LV bags, well actually we don't have to assume. These guys are freaking stingy that they ask me, the lowly UNPAID intern, to treat them to drinks during lunch. No, they are not joking. Really.

oookkkk... back to the math part. $3000 can buy a lot of men's stuff.. provided that they don't buy any Mont Blanc goods for kicks. I guess one entire outfit (Decent linen/cotton shirt, fitting trousers, quality comfy leather shoes and belt) can come up to about $1000. So $3k can get you 3 sets of fantastic men gear for the office. I guess guys don't have to get 3 pairs of leather kicks per year so they can probably get a couple more of those shirts.

Oh I don't know what these guys are thinking la. Buy 2 decent shirts a year isn't too much to ask, right?

Bah... ugly 30 year old men.

Personally I really don't get sports gear. What's the deal with soccer jerseys? I mean, they don't look particularly good... it's bright red or something. Same goes for basketball jerseys. Yet people wear it on the streets, like it's some couture. Walking angpows... @_@

I suggest we should all look into our closet, and honestly pick out those that we won't be caught dead wearing. Faded t-shirts you've got since your primary, secondary, heck even jc days should be retired and never to be seen outside the house. As for sportswear, I don't know la.. I don't like it but I won't stop people wearing it. Maybe I'll just give that look of disgust and sneer. I don't know.

I better stop before I start sounding bossy or someone starts commenting on how I look. To me, I'm ok. Not traffic-stopping remarkable, but at least I won't get mistaken for the cleaner or something.

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