Monday, April 17, 2006

I hate this place, need a job and I want to move.

I am feeling so awful right now, I cannot begin to describe anything.

The feeling of your family doubting you is just so... wrong.
The feeling of people gossiping behind our back, painting you as this easy person is just so... painful.
The feeling of no one believing in you? It's dejecting.

It has finally come to this. I have layed out my cards on table and I don't really give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks and says anymore. I mean, what is the point of trying to explain myself when no one believes it? When your own family chooses to believe an old fart instead of you, you know the time has come.

When someone has a vendetta against another, and pulls you in to get rid of someone, that's wrong. Betraying your trust and friendship, and basically painting you as a harlot and making people question your character JUST SO that he can have at go at another guy, that's just very wrong.

I've had enough of this place.

People, let me know if you know of any job openings and/or places for rent in your neighbourhood.

I have a goal now, and it is to be financially independent. And I'm moving away from this horrible horrible place where everyone has nothing better to do than to start vicious rumours about you. A place where even your family rather believes some stranger than their own family member.

There is nothing anyone can say that can change my mind. This whole fucking Singapore/ Malaysia being "home" thing, it's bullshit. How can you call it home, when no one believes in you and everyone is giving running commentaries about how you live your life?

This is not where I want to be.

I have had enough. I do not deserve this.

And once I have enough money, I'm moving back to Australia where I so belong. Mark my words.

You read it here first.

1 comment:

nisa said...

hi Rachel,

i hope things work out for u.
why do you feel so sad?
& how does things happen that way?

i hope ur okay, God Bless. :)

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