Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Poo robbers, bad robbers, Girl Scouts cookies stealers, deranged magician and world gone mad.

When you think you are feeling down in the dumps, nothing beats peculiar news from around the globe to take your mind off things. Or if I put it in another way.

When you think the world has gone crazy and there is no hope for mankind, read these news to further convince yourself.

Thieves rob German man after feces attack
Pickpockets, while helping man clean up from mess, steal nearly $10,000

-- Reuters
Updated: 1:57 p.m. ET Aug. 14, 2006

Feces??! FECES?!?! No kidding... This has to be the grossest and most innovative (..?) way of robbing someone I have heard of. You hurl poo, rush forward to help the poor poo-covered guy with pockets full of cash, offer all the tissues you have and then make off with all the cash in his pockets. Which may or may not be covered in poo. Ewwww...

I cannot imagine how long the robbers and the poor guy will take to scrub the stink and the poo off their skins. Especially the guy who got robbed.

We live in an incredible world.

Next up, we have someone who is either bad at concealing his intentions, or is a joker out to mess with the police and/or an attention whore who is out to get himself mentioned on national tv.

Man arrested for 226th time in same town
Surely a record? No, he’s No. 40 on Lincoln, Neb., most-arrested list

-- Associated Press
Updated: 10:20 p.m. ET Aug. 15, 2006

226 times?! In a tiny town no less. I mean, move to another town and no one will know of your colorful record. Or you know, sober up from all the sentences you've served and you know, WISE UP AND STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

I think the local prison has a special cell specially reserved for him. Maybe with a view. Does he get a loyalty card where for every 10 stays in the local prison, he gets a chocolate pudding for dessert on the 10th stay?

Even the Girl Scouts are starting to get pissed.

Pay up, or we break your ladyfingers ...
Akron, Ohio, Girl Scouts sue to recover $9,000 in uncollected cookie debts

-- Associated Press, Updated: 4:47 p.m. ET Aug. 16, 2006

It is like stealing cookies from a little girl in wheelchair, pushing her off and then running away in the other direction. That is just mean. Well it's about time deadbeat adults pay up for all those cookies.


"One alleged deadbeat says most of the $3,500 debt involves cookies she gave to others to sell. "

I didn't know that someone out there believes it is possible to buy $3500 worth of cookies, give it to others to sell, and hope in all honesty that "others" will pay her back promptly so she can foot the $3500 bill.

And our most beloved world famous magician has gone mad.

Copperfield says he’s found Fountain of Youth
Famous magician claims it is located on his new property in the Bahamas

-- Reuters
Updated: 4:52 p.m. ET Aug. 15, 2006

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH? Is he betraying his magic tricks roots and turning to health supplements and "natural" remedies to further fund his island-buying sprees? Or has he just gone mad?


“I’ve discovered a true phenomenon,” he told Reuters in a telephone interview. “You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again. ... Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they’ll fly away. It’s an amazing thing, very, very exciting.”

It is most definitely the latter. Because if it is true, I will dip Tutankhamen in it and see the Egyptian Boy King come back to life. Better yet, I'll soak T-Rex skeleton in it and watch it stomp all over the place.

Seriously, has the world gone mad?

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