Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My demons, peabrain, violence, insecurity and the Ex factor.

I have so many demons it is just not funny anymore.

-- My demons are not as cute.

I am going crazy. From work, family and relationship. Somehow I just wish people will just leave me alone, do what they are supposed to do, stop bugging me and stop planting doubts in my head.

Frankly all these unnecessary bullshit are bad for my mental health.

Newbie keeps asking me really retarded questions that I am beginning to doubt if he ever paid attention to what I tell him to do. It is something like, "Should I write my name ON the exam paper?" kinda question which makes me feel like choking the very cigarette clouded breath out of his stupid little peabrain-ed existence. I want to shake him violently. Bastard.

-- Newbie is nowhere as cute. He's foul.

I just wish Newbie and all work-related pests to just fuck off and leave me alone so I won't put a bullet through my skull.

Family-wise... no comment.

Relationship. The very bane of my existence. Of sorts. Just how comfortable should I feel about the Ex? Well I believe in platonic friendships and how I would never fancy The Boy since I have MOVED ON. But does the same apply for other people? Will you ever wonder about the Ex factor till you drive yourself mad with insecurity and jealousy?

-- To their togetherness? What about OUR togetherness???

Does he or doesn't he? What am I? I feel like breaking down so badly and seeing a shrink. I am not sure if I can cope with this.

I am really going mad. I don't really know what to do anymore.

I need to overcome my insecurities, my vivid imagination and all the fears that come with it. I will never be happy if I doubt everyone around me.

I just want to go away.



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