Friday, June 01, 2007

Sorrow, professional help, low points and lost.

I have been listening to this song on loop from 11am this morning. It is 6:32pm at the minute.

Death Cab for Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan

If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson

And if I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings

I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh, what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you

And it is true what you say
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown

Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to . . . .


I have always liked Death Cab. Some may find it too.. emo. I don't know, I just like them. Somehow, the song resonated with a part of me I have not been able to describe.

Lots of things are going on in my head at the minute. So far, none of them is happy. It is a very heavy feeling and I have no one to tell it to. Even if I do have someone to talk to, I am not even sure I can put them down in words.

Some friends have suggested that I seek professional help. To them, I seem to have changed a lot over one year and they somehow feel that I am unable to cope with the low points in my life.

I don't know... even I am not even sure if I have too much on my plate. Will talking to a shrink help? Do I need to see one at the minute? Perhaps this is just a low point in my life. Life is full of highs and lows, and it will pass. Right?

I need to be convinced he is not going to give up.
I need to be convinced all is not lost.

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