Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Still overworked, gutless rebellion, travel and panic.

I am still worked to death at the minute. Black Ninja is still superb at vanishing into thin air and my partner is on his 2nd day of emergency leave because his kid is sick.

-- Grim Reaper, why art thou stalking me!?

Life is unfair. Why me?! *shakes fist at sky*

To make time in the office easier, I am playing my songs. I'm the gutless-yet-all-for-revolution kinda person. My act of rebellion? I took out the earphones and I'm listening to it off the speakers. But I'm too gutless to upset the apple cart, so I'm playing the songs as softly as I can. Hey, baby steps.


I'm still listening to my "I have not known true love" song. And "Your Heart Is An Empty Room". My god, is Deathcab THAT hurt by love?

Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
Cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago

'Cause all you see is where else you could be when you're at home

Well, that must have sucked.

Anyway this post is going to be about songs. Like John Legend's PDA (We Just Don't Care).
Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far

Kissing underneath the stars? Romantic.
Go too far? The guy is up to no good!

He goes on to sing about fire escapes and various trysts in public places. He's either a thrillseeker or sex maniac. Fine line? Discuss.

Just how is this song not rated PG18 or M is way beyond my understanding. It is catchy, I'll give you that. It puts me in a holiday mood despite the fact that shit has hit the fan at work.

I just want to walk on the pebbled streets of Spain or Italy or Paris. Locals on their Vespas whizz by quaint little shops with fascinating stories to tell. The sun will be shining through the trees that lined the cobbled streets and the grass is like a sea of emerald.

-- Palma is by far the most wonderful place I have explored.

Instead of the 2 by 4 cubicle I am currently holed up in.

-- For national security reasons, I cannot take photo of my office.

Have I ever mentioned that I have a great imagination?

I am looking forward to seeing J. The past 6-7 weeks have been tough and more trying than before. I have no idea why. Am I the clingy girlfriend part-time psychopath in the making? Oh God please don't let that happen.

I don't like the way being this dependent. My mood hinges on how much attention I get from J. When I do shop, I almost always occasionally wonder out loud if J would like it. Everything is always "J this, and J that". It drives me insane. It drives people around me insane. I don't like being this way one bit.

-- I think I'm at Phase 3.

Will some alone time be good? Cold turkey helps addicts quit so why shouldn't it work in my case? Does that mean I should spend less time with J? I'm already spending very little time with him, given our special circumstances. What should I do? What does this mean?

What is happening to me?? Is this relationship IT? Am I starting to panic? Have I just said something I never intended to say? Gawd this is too deep for me to figure out.

I feel like the little girl lost. =(


Monday, August 27, 2007

Men are from Mars, women just overthink things.

Got this off somewhere. How true.

Will women ever understand men and will men ever understand women?

This story reached me on the internet as a joke. I have no idea of the origin and am happy to credit the author who I've been told is Dave Barry if you know otherwise, do let me know. I think this story is a lesson in learning to stop mind-reading and assuming and learning to ask for clarification if you don't understand.

Let's say a guy named Dougal is attracted to a woman named Patsy. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Patsy, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Patsy, it seems like a very loud silence.

Patsy thinks to herself: God, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Dougal is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Patsy is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going?

'Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?'

And Dougal is thinking:..so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the milometer...Christ! I'm way overdue for an oil change here.

And Patsy is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed—even before I sensed it—that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Dougal is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the gear box again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a dumper truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves 600 quid.

And Patsy is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Dougal is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they'll say, the scumballs ...

And Patsy is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy... continued after this message!!!

And Dougal is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it...

"Dougal," Patsy says aloud.

"What?" says Dougal, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have said.... Oh God, I feel so .."

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Dougal.

"I'm such a fool," Patsy sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Dougal.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Patsy says.

"No|" says Dougal.

He's glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...It's that I...I need some time," Patsy says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Dougal, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

(Patsy, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Dougal, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Dougal.

"That way about time," says Patsy.

"Oh," says Dougal. "Yes."

(Patsy turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Dougal," she says.

"Thank you," says Dougal.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Dougal gets back to his place, he opens a tin of Pringles, turns on the TV, and immediately become's deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he has never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something pretty serious was going on back there in the car, but he is also pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he reckons it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Dougal' s policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Patsy will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In pain staking detail, they will analyse everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Dougal, one day, while playing squash with a mutual friend of his and Patsy's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

"Bill, did Patsy ever own a horse?"

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Going to work on Saturday evening.

Hullo my munchkins!

I am not dead nor have I been stranded on some unnamed island, where mysterious hatches are concealed and I have to punch in a code every 108 minutes before something bad happens.

Then again, it is not that far from the truth either.

Work has been hell. Server and application meltdown. To describe it better, it is like how your Windows OS is fugging up. You usually turn it on, and it will be ok. Now, it refuses to start and on the occasion that it does, the blue screen on death appears. You don't know if Windows is just f8rked up, or the application you installed is fugging you over.

-- Blue screen of death

Things can't be much peachier than this.

I have been working overtime 3 days in row, and I have to go back to office in an hour's time at 5.30pm. On a weekend. And that makes it the 4th weekend that I have to work.

Slave drivers.

Till things settle down, take care and keep me in your prayers.


Sunday, August 19, 2007

Bloody overtime.

I am at bloody work, at bloody 2am, on a bloody Sunday morning.

They are not bloody paying me extra.

Bloody hell.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Email waiting game, divorce and good reasons to marry.

J has yet to email me. I am about to go mad from all this waiting (3.5 days). It feels exactly the same when a guy says he would call, but he did not, or he called 3 days later. It sucks.

-- I don't sleep next to my mobile, but my laptop with Outlook Express set to check every 2 minutes.

Guys, this 3-day waiting game you play DOES NOT up the ladies' interest factor. You just look like an irresponsible adult who forgets and has your attention focused elsewhere. Like some other girls. When you say you'd call, call. Maximum gap = the next day. She just gets mad from waiting, ok?

-- Murder waiting to happen when she tracks him down.

On another relationship topic, a friend's friend has decided to separate from her husband of 5 years. Because her husband finally gave in after she spent the last 4 years trying to divorce him.


Sigh.. why do people get married in the first place if they are not sure?

Some marry because it is the "next step forward". Some marry to start their lives together. Some marry because they have been together long enough. Some marry because of peer pressure.

Is that really a good reason to say "I do"?

Getting married because you love each other.
Getting married because you want to start your lives together.
Getting married because you cannot imagine not marrying him/her.
Getting married because you want to spend the rest of your lives together and no one else.

These are pretty good reasons. Edit: After you guys have worked out which city/state/country to stay in, kind of housing, housing loan, budget, number of children to have, pet or no pets, lcd or plasma tv, lcd or plasma or no tv in the bedroom, is she going to continue working, date night or not, who's taking out the garbage and which car to get.

Good luck.

Update: J emailed me at 9pm. Everytime I whine about something, it happens right after. Thanks for making me feel bad, Lady Luck.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Captain's dinner, humour and Dilbert-ish people in my office.

My Captain J hosted his first Captain's Dinner last night. I wonder if it went well.

He was nervous about the welcome speech he had to make as Captain. I wonder if he added my "your lifejackets can be found under your seats. Please store away your table and fasten your seat belt during landing and takeoff" in his speech. Hmm.

It would be hilarious. At least I think it's funny. I see humour in the worst possible places.

Like the woman who is in charge of the store room at work. She either speaks at the top of voice, or at the frequency that best carries sound because people at the far end of the office can hear her. Through walls.

I dislike her. She doesn't smile at people. She scowls. But she also looks like that woman in Dilbert.

I think happy thoughts and try not to burst out laughing when I see her. That's one of the ways of surviving, turning contempt into joy glorious joy.

We have Black Ninja (you know who), Patrick (of Spongebob fame), Loud Howard (Dilbert) and Bob the Dinosaur (Dilbert).

He is one of the managers in my office, who saunters around like an overfed policeman patrolling the streets, looking for another doughnut (with filling) or 2. Spouts rubbish very loudly. Friend of Woman from Dilbert.

This is his TRUE body shape. Not a joke.

Next we have Loud Howard, Patrick's Number 1 Minion.

-- Thank you Wikipedia!

Doesn't do much. Part of the patrol. And bald. He looks for at leasts 2 doughnuts so he can kiss ass.

And Bob the Dinosaur.

Happy go lucky fella in the office who has a mobile phone pouch he clips to his belt. And due to the nature of his job (to put up Message of the Day), he overcompensates by splurging on all things. From his collection of Snoopy toys from Happy Meal, to headphones (because another guy has it) and a number of expensive watches (again, because some other guys have it). Goes around showing off his new toys, "hey check out my new Omega Speedmaster."

Dude, we get it. Stop telling us you have something new to play with.

It is a slow day in the office.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Fashion advice from men.

Some men know fashion.

-- Marc Jacobs.

And clearly a lot don't.

Just yesterday when I was spending some time with friends (my ex-colleagues, who somehow made the progression from ex-colleagues to friends-you-hang-out-with-when-all-options-fail (just kidding guys!), to your regular stable of friends), I was advised to get a new hairstyle, frameless specs if I am really that put off by Lasik/contact lenses, push up bras and grown up clothes.

Well well well.

I have medium length hair, best described as the "Jennifer Aniston" 'do.

No matter what I do to it, it always ends up looking the same. It almost appeared like I was not putting in an effort anymore. Eventually I stopped trying, and just settled for a trim. I mean to look the same after shearing layers and snipping god knows how much hair off my head, that sucks. I feel Jen's pain.

Was I reaching for the stars here? Apparently I was.

I was recommended the Victoria Beckham/Hebe haircut by the guys.


I'm gravitating towards Katie Holmes' haircut. Short, fuss free and it looks good even when it's messy.

I can even not brush it!

-- Suri is adoooooorable.

But it IS a little too mum-sy, don't you agree? =/

Well I'm not going for Lasik so there's that. Frameless specs? I'll think about it. But what's wrong with my current ones? J has no problems with these. We are specs buddies.

Now moving on to clothes.

Nothing against dresses but seriously, I'm not THAT old ok?

It doesn't look age appropriate. Why age myself?? Do men really know what they are talking about, or are they just messing around at my expense?

I think I should talk to my gal pals should I need a new hairstyle and new wardrobe.


Anyway my point is, I welcome all makeover/"better myself" suggestions. It is quite another to receive trashy fashion advice from guys who do not know better. It is likely that I will, while sitting quietly on the edge of my bed, in the deafening silence in my room with a bottle of cheap warm beer in my hand, a pair of blunt scissors lying among freshly cut hair, WONDER to myself, why did I take up their advice?

-- I understand your pain, dude.

Talk about painting a picture.

-- Gives new meaning to shiteous haircut

I think the only person I have to please is myself. If I like my boring Aniston 'do, so be it. If I like simple clothes without mad crazy prints, so be it. There is no point changing myself if I don't like it.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Freedom of speech, facts, boyfriend and presumptions.

Freedom of speech. I strongly believe in it, and I think people should get their facts straight before jumping to silly conclusions that put them in very bad light. Oh I don't know, maybe being the conniving little sneak who whispers horrible stories to your family?

It stings and more often than not, people want to refute claims they deem malicious. Like I do today.

Some relative told my mom that she saw me holding hands with a guy, window shopping at a mall. Apparently she told my mom I saw her and avoided her.

I find that incredibly strange.

J is so far far away that the last time we held hands and done any window shopping in Singapore was May. I haven't been holding someone else's hands recently. Gawd how I wish J were here! We could then REALLY hold hands and walk down the street, just being with each other. He could play with my pinkie and nag at how I should stop biting my nails and ....

Anyway before I go off and gush more about J, I don't get why I would avoid her should I see her on the street. I don't find anything wrong with J and I going out, so why would I bother to run and hide when spotted? I believe in graciousness, saying hi and going on our merry way, instead of hiding and giving rise to stupid remarks from stupid relative who is so presumptuous about my supposed intention to avoid her.

What, is going out with someone outside my race THAT much of a big deal? Is is such a juicy gossip that you called up my mom and sprang it up her? And who in turn, spring it on me?

Shame on you.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Rachel - the generous, good business acumen individual.

Low, Colin (SG - Singapore) says:
Ewe "Hebrew"

Very much the individual you have enormous energy and vision and must find a suitable use for your talents. You have great potential for success in business if you can guard against indecision and worry. Your generous nature means that you are never short of friends and with cooperation your relationships can be very rewarding. Perseverance and firm decision making will ensure you achieve your objectives.

fish "allthatislove@hotmail.com" says:

fish "allthatislove@hotmail.com" says:
i sound damn good

Yup that's me. Humility Central.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Beer, druken stupor and why we have sex.

This week, after "exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex", University of Texas came up with this list.

Why We Have Sex: 237 Reasons and Counting
-- Seth Borenstein, Associated Press
1 August 2007


-- I love cuddles.

The top and bottom reasons for having sex from a list of 237 that college-aged men and women gave University of Texas researchers:

Men's top 10 reasons:
1. I was attracted to the person.
2. It feels good.
3. I wanted to experience physical pleasure.
4. It’s fun.
5. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
6. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
7. I was “horny.”
8. I wanted to express my love for the person.
9. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
10. I wanted to please my partner.

Women's top 10 reasons:
1. I was attracted to the person.
2. I wanted to experience physical pleasure.
3. It feels good.
4. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
5. I wanted to express my love for the person.
6. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
7. I was “horny.”
8. It’s fun.
9. I realized I was in love.
10. I was “in the heat of the moment.”

Men's bottom 5 reasons:
1. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
2. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease.
3. I wanted to punish myself.
4. I wanted to break up my relationship.
5. I wanted to get a job.

Women's bottom 5 reasons:
1. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease.
2. Someone offered me money to do it.
3. I wanted to get a raise.
4. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
5. I wanted to get a job.

Anyhoo still interesting all the same. Men and women have sex for similar reasons but the bottom 5 reasons why they do are most intriguing.

"I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease.

Holy bat crap.

Extremely evil and irresponsible behaviour. Why would anyone do that?

-- Give 'em hell, Stitch!

Perhaps society has outcasted them, stereotyping them as promiscuous, homosexuals and easy. Long and viciously enough that these patients have had enough, and got the twisted idea that maybe, just maybe if everyone has the same disease, there is no stereotype.

Because, who is to judge that a person is easy when he has the same illness as well?

Personally I'm shocked and disgusted when misinformed people say that homosexuals get STDs. People who choose to be gay get sick. So straight cheating men and husbands who run off to some prostitutes who have been with hundreds of men don't get STDs? And who said that being homosexual is a choice?

It is disturbing to make STDs out to be something only people with loose morals, and people with alternative lifestyles get.


In other related news, Aussie men in bed: could do better?


Hmmm how do the professors and researchers approach the Uni for funding such a paper? "Good morning my fellow esteemed colleagues. My school of Gender Studies is currently planning to conduct an intensive worldwide survey of which country's men is crappiest at sex."

*Big round of applause*

It feels like a bunch of blokes had too much to drink, and in their glorious drunken stupor, came up with the best game ever for a good laugh.

I bet many would do this.

And this cracks me up to no end.

I would so kill the guy but it's too funny.

Aussie has some of the funniest ads ever.

p.s. First serious theme in YEARS!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Unromantic, Jeux d'Enfant, teddies, and what is love.

I was recently labelled as the most unromantic girl ever known. Just because I found it hilarious that a guy who lost his memory mistook a piglet as the love of his life.

[Honestly how that could strike as a romantic gesture is way beyond me. Also, who came up with such a lame script? And is the production firm so blind to actually fund this junk??]

-- Jeux d'Enfant

Personally that's what I find romantic.

I mean, not the peeing in public. You have to watch the whole movie to get it.

I don't find cheesy lines and stupid gestures such as bear bouquet (or is it a bouquet of bears?) romantic. It just reeks of consumerism and what the hell is she going to do with that many tiny teddies??

-- "Roses are red, violets are blue. Teddies are stupid and so are you"

Nothing against teddies because I do love mine. But a bouquet?? Overkill. Too much of something good is never going to work. Unless the recipient is 12.

I think I believe in romance and all the lovely gestures that come with it. I think growing old together, sorting candy and still remembering the little things they did when they were young is awfully sweet.

Isn't this romantic?

But I was corrected. Apparently this is love, not a romantic act. Being romantic = flowers, dinner, all that "open the door for the girl" chivalry crap. Is that right?

I always thought love is a feeling, "all is right in the world and there's nowhere else I rather be" feeling of immense joy and bliss. It can strike you even when your partner is sleeping in some god awful position and snoring like Homer with sinus problems, and you would still smile and be very happy.

What exactly is love, and what makes a gesture romantic?

Motorola RAZR2.

Presenting Motorola RAZR2.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm maybe it is time for my original V3 to retire. Sooooo swoonsome.

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