Monday, September 03, 2007

Off tangent, attention, ringtones, courtesy and public broadcast.

I am Queen of Digressing, 5 times Olympic gold medalist for going off-tangent in the shortest time since the event was introduced 19 years ago.



[That's Seoul 1988. Check out http://www.olympic.org/uk/games/index_uk.asp]

In my previous post, I meant to write about my teenage years in a girls' school and a passing remark that bubbled to the surface out of the blue. I wanted to write about body image, popularity, how much it sucked to not be among the "It" girls and all that jazz.

It turns out, watching clips on youtube, glancing at the telly back and forth while writing a post all at once does not help one focus. It is pretty evident that The Little Mermaid had nothing to do with the callous remark I got when I was in high school.

And it does not help my current post when I am surfing the web to ogle at pretty bags at this very minute.

[Expect a post on pretty bags soon!]

Sometimes I wonder how other people do it. They can come up with a 5000 word essay on pizza and the toppings they picked without losing the audience. I can barely string a sentence without going off course. How do they manage to grab hold of people's attention even though they are just describing the colorful jalapenos and dodgy looking sliced capsicums on their pizzas?

[Italian colors, no?]

I have no idea. I have lost the ability to weave a wonderful hilarious tale about people who lay on the school lawn like a beached whale. I think I lost humour. And that my friend, is not good at all.

Incidentally that reminds me of jackasses who play songs off their phones at public places.

You know, those phones that have built in speakers which in a way, transform your regular Nokias (cuz I don't see Motorolas or Samsungs with this capability. Then again I may be wrong.) into modern day boomboxes?



So very 80s. When Fresh Prince of Bel Air was still the rage.

Do people not have a sense of courtesy and consideration anymore?

I don't want to hear silly songs on your phone. Especially in the mornings when I just want to space out till I get to my destination. Specifically, I don't want to listen to that irritating-as-hell song by what's-his-face Akon. Really. If I have to hear that nasal song again, I'd stab my ear with a pick. Or watch Fran Drescher in The Nanny. At least I would get a good laugh and be somewhat compensated for putting up that nasal accent.

Actually I don't want to listen to any of the songs. Be it stupid bubblegum pop, stupid Chinese bubblegum pop, or stupid classical music. Who gives a crap about which piece you are listening to, First Movement by Mozart or Shostakovich. I don't understand the need nor the reason behind the choice to broadcast whatever you are listening to the entire train/bus/car.

Are you a member of the Public Broadcast Network or something?

The same thing applies for ringtones. God, you are not Jack Bauer.

http://www.ccir.ed.ac.uk/~jad/ringtone/CTU24.mp3

It may be cute the first few times, but when it just won't stop beeping for the rest of the day, it actually drives people mad. It gets old quick, and you just look every bit the geeky nerd who downloads it (for a fee!!!!) and customises your phone because you think it's cool. It is not. It is lame.

Same goes for weirdos who put this on their phones.

http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/archive/Cartoons/Transformers/Transform-sound/15411

Or that silly "Viper on" thing as their car alarm.

Guys, if you want to have a successful and meaningful relationship with members of the opposite sex, please I implore you, do not make these horrible mistakes. It is just not cute, it's downright embarassing if the tune comes on when you are in a nice restaurant. And you wonder why she doesn't like to go out with you?


Anyone has anything to add?



Anyhoo, J will be visiting me soon and I have not prepared anything! There's no little welcome pressie , clean change of clothes nor food when he arrives on this balmy island. Oh dear. Time to brainstorm.


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