Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Harry Potter and 6 f#@king questions.

I know. It's Harry Potter. It's one of the few books I have read this year, besides my half-finished copy of Stardust. I'm not proud of it.

I have finished Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. Not sure if any of you is
done with it. The rest of the entry is going to be spoilers. And some of the funniest things I have come across. So, blind yourself or maybe google pron or something if you don't want to spoil your read. - 6 Questions The Last Harry Potter Book Had Better F#@king Answer

Q: Is Dumbledore really dead?

The first rule of thumb when reading a pulp mystery—which, if you hadn't noticed, is what the Harry Potter books are—is that a murder isn't a murder if you lose track of the body. When Snape "killed" Dumbledore, Dumbledore's corpse was conveniently propelled backwards off the castle walls and out of sight. You don't have to be Angela Lansbury to realize that's pretty fishy. Is it possible that Dumbledore negated the curse while in free fall, miraculously survived the 100 foot drop, regained his feet, fed Polyjuice potion to a carefully pre-positioned bear, killed the bear, then slunk into the shadows to let it take his place?

Yes, quite frankly, that could happen—and it wouldn't even be the stupidest thing to happen in the Harry Potter universe. That would be Quidditch.

Still, there are a lot of clues to suggest that poor old Dumbledore really has been flushed down the toilet of the Potter-verse. His phoenix Fawke singing that sad-sad song of sorrow was a pretty conclusive-looking sign. Also, there was the host of witnesses who saw Dumbledore's body up close. And there was Dumbledore's portrait suddenly appearing in the headmaster's office at school. And perhaps most definitively, J.K. Rowling has confirmed this herself in an interview, saying "Dumbledore is definitely dead," before obnoxiously adding, "but it's complex."

What does "complex" mean? Does it mean he'll live on in the hearts and minds of those who loved him? That he'll reappear in a vaguely shimmery way and advise Harry to seek further training on the planet Dagobah? That he's enlisted the aid of top Muggle scientists to transfer his consciousness into a talking car? Or will it be something stupid?

Our "100% Lock, Money-in-the-Bank" Prediction: Dumbledore's dead, but still around via the talking portrait. Harry will consult it for advice throughout the concluding novel, and at a critical juncture, remove it from the wall of the headmaster's office, using it to club Draco in the back of the head before dryly stating "The head-master's office hours are over, bitch."

It is THAT hilarious. Go read the rest from the website.

I am currently working on quite a few posts which I hope will eventually develop into a complete entry. I write stubs, and fill in the rest of the blanks when I have time/inspiration/death threats. Oh, I am so going to watch Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix on DVD. So guess which comes first. Have fun.

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