Saturday, November 24, 2007

The weepies and being all alone.

I am honestly in pieces. I haven't had any luck with the flat hunt and it is really bringing me down.

I am depressed at the state of things. I am not sure if it's the hormones or depression or just missing J too much, but I have been getting a serious bout of the weepies. I have crumbled into a crying heap, sometimes several times a day.

I don't know what to do.

I didn't tell J about my weepies, simply because he is away and I guess the last thing he needs is to worry about his crying girlfriend who is almost homeless. He is already losing sleep about my impending homelessness as it is.

Maybe I always cheer up when he calls, since such calls are hard to come by especially when he is at sea. I always sound too cheery for words like "I am really worried about my flat hunt" to come across as what they really mean.

Part of me wish that J were here. I know there's absolutely nothing he can do to help, but his company and hugs will. But the sensible rational part of me knows very well that he has to work so we have money for our future. That's just the way it is.

I am really worried and I don't know what to do. I feel like calling someone but I have no one to call. I'm thinking of calling mom, but I don't know if I should. I don't think getting a phone call from your crying daughter is good. =/

Somebody, help.

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