I'm scared like nobody's business.
-- I guess I'll wait till tomorrow.
As people who read this blog already know, my family is not all that chummy with J. There is no nuclear fallout, but we are not exactly giving bear hugs to one another at the minute.
I am both tired and disappointed at how things turned out. Like my little brother reminded me, I can't please everyone. It is so true, because right now I can't even please myself.
I need a vacation to take my mind off things. I know I am going on one but I don't want to go under these circumstances. My aunt once told me that my family will eventually be happy for me if I'm happy. I'm trying, but can I last that long without breaking down?
Why do I feel like I'm being made to choose between my family and my boyfriend?
I'm falling sick. Fever, body aches, chills and I'm coughing like a smoker with terminal lung cancer. Is this a physical manifestation of my mental well-being? Somehow I have a feeling it is.
-- Flu germs, anyone?
It sucks to be me.
-- Drop kick his ass!
That is hardly a good thing.
Well at least I try to claim off days from all the overtime work I'm doing.
J has reached port today so that's a good thing. It has been quite some time since I have last talked to him. I still write him emails almost everyday but it is starting to get depressing for me. He does not get to reply emails on this boat because he has to pay for them, so it feels like I'm talking to a void all the time.
There are so many things I want to tell him, but he's not there to hear it. Or read it. Or reply to me. Sometimes it is just far too lonely. It feels like I'm in a relationship with his email address.
-- Bill Gates has lots of funky emails in his Hotmail account.
Oh well. Maybe I'm just tired. I am looking forward to next Friday because I'll be flying to Aussieland to visit J and his family!
Then again, I'm pretty nervous and freaked out about visiting his family. Sure we've kinda met over the webcam but that hardly counts. Now I have to hang out with them for a few days. It is nice but I am feeling the stress now.
I don't know the lyrics to Waltzing Matilda. I still don't quite get the difference between rugby and footie. I'm hopelessly lost at cricket. All these despite staying in Sydney for 4.5 years. Then again I can always explain I'm awful at sports. It's the casual chit chat that kills me. I usually talk straight off my head but this time, I don't want to make stupid remarks about the chicken being dry, only to find out that it is his grandma's signature dish.
That would be a big faux pas.
It's a long awaited vacation. I can't wait to wake up in the morning, bundle up and stroll down Surfers Paradise with a large coffee in hand.
|The Keys to Your Heart|
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.
|You Are Very Worldly|
You're an international jet setter - or pretty darn close.
And while you may feel like you have many more places to visit...
Most people live their whole lives without seeing what you've seen.
In fact, you're probably going to be traveling again soon. So Bon Voyage!
|You Are From Jupiter|
You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness.
Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions.
Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom.
Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that.
If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.
|You Are a Mermaid|
You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.
French music (think La Vie En Rose) + Louis Armstrong music. Old school.
Assorted appetisers. Think d'oeuvres. Mouthful of bliss each time.
Scallops mornay, with a sprinkling of bacon and chopped chives.
Baked cod with a side of greens.
Sashimi and aburi sushi as main.
Tandoori chicken and papadums.
Ice cream, tiramisu, pancakes with fresh strawberries/banana and cream, and fruits.