Thursday, May 15, 2008

10 Things Men Don't Know About Women - Part 3

  1. Not all women want to lojack you with your cellphone and track your every move. We don't really want to know what you're doing every minute of every day. We are not THAT insecure.

  2. We are almost always covered in scales, which explains why we need a very very long time to get ready before we meet you. Scale-free. So quit complaining.

  3. When you ask about us moving in together, getting a pet or buying something substantial, we naturally think we're getting hitched.

  4. If you have zero intentions of marrying us, please do not say things such as the following "Our children will be so cute/So where are we settling down/Where would you like to go for your honeymoon/I think I'm going to have a simple wedding". Because all those just screams "we're getting hitched". Don't f*cking lead us on.

  5. All the beautiful women in your men magazines have been photoshopped, probably even the ILM guys from Star Wars were called in to make them look lean and beautiful. Read our tabloid mags. They show you real pictures of how they look like without war paint. Read them and weep.

  6. All women are little girls and all we want from you are just love and attention.

  7. We need to feel loved by you all the time. We can tell if you say "I love you" but don't mean it. Then we'll hound you by sulking and going all forlorn looking till you cave in and show us genuine concern. The score is not even yet.

  8. Well if you keep up the saying-"I love you"-but-don't-mean-it crap, we will convince ourselves you have never loved us, and we will leave you because we all know we deserve better. We are very good at convincing ourselves. Just look at the number of shoes we've convinced ourselves we need.

  9. We don't really need you to open the car door for us. We can do that. Chivalry in the forms of protecting us from traffic/crazy trolleys/pesky leering old men? Brownie points.

  10. Shopping is an innate, God-given talent to women all over the world. It's only respectful to God Almighty we practise and be good at it.

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