Friday, May 16, 2008

Movies 2008.

Every year, I write about movies that are worth watching. This year is no different, except that the list is late and some of the movies have already come and gone, and won awards along the way.

1. Juno -- 14 February 2008

For memorable quotes like:
Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.
Vanessa Loring: That's great.
Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

Leah: What? Honest to blog?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah. Yeah, it's Bleekers.
Leah: It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
Juno MacGuff: No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.
Leah: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That's amazing...
Juno MacGuff: I don't know, I drank like, ten tons of Sunny D... Anyway dude, I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
Leah: Is this for real? Like, for real for real?
Juno MacGuff: Unfortunately, yes.
Leah: Oh my GOD. Oh shit! Phuket, Thailand!
Juno MacGuff: There we go. That was kind of the emotion that I was searching for on the first take.

That's right. I'm one of those people who get food babies. And J and I have decided to call my condition "incubating sea monkeys". Nice.

2. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
-- 31 July 2008

Something about a guy trying to get over being dumped by his hot actress girlfriend. Judd Apatow produced it, and I'll watch anything Apatow makes. Judd, we're friends now so send some freebie tickets my way and we'll be friends forever.

3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- 22 May 2008

Indie is back after a hiatus of 20 years. I grew up on a stable diet of Temple of Doom and Hot Shots movies, not to mention my very odd choice of Silence of the Lambs when I was 12.

I will definitely watch swashbuckling Indie on his great archaeological adventures. It's like watching Discovery Channel, but a whole lot more exciting with mummies, zombies and simulated sacrificial ceremonies.

J and I watched all 3 of Indiana Jones' movies. Because we simply couldn't wait till next week (22 May 2008) to watch the latest installment. Go Indie, GO!

4. WALL-E -- 28 August 2008

“What if mankind evacuated Earth and forgot to turn off the last remaining robot?”

I have read a couple of Isaac Asimov's books in my teens, and with all the robot movies (see: Terminator) I've watched, I can conclude that robots obey orders very well but will eventually turn against us (see also: The Matrix) and kill/enslave humanity.

[We are still safe because our development in AI at the minute is still at the "can we make the computer beat the chessmaster" stage. And that's if Windows Vista loads properly and stops f*cking asking you every 4 seconds whether to run a program in Administrator mode even if you're the bloody administrator.]

WALL-E is so disarmingly innocent, perhaps even more so because of its makes and purpose in life. If robots can feel, WALL-E is like a child who probably doesn't understand what bitterness is as he is left to wander the wasteland that is Earth for all eternity.

5. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army -- 10 July 2008

I know it's another one of those comic turned movie franchises but all the trailers I've seen so far do not disappoint. C'mon they've got Guillermo del Toro as the director. And he's that guy who made the best movie (in my honest opinion), Pan's Labyrinth, in 2007. It has to be good.

Tell me, doesn't that look awesome?

6. The Dark Knight -- 17 July 2008

I was hooked ever since I saw the poster for the movie. Unlike previous Batman crap, The Joker is dark and sinister, and not Krusty the Clown.

It is just a shame that Heath Ledger has died, but it will be great to watch his last movie on the big screen, knowing that he nailed the part good.

Batman Begins rocked, and so will this. I wonder if they took my advice to use the Batmobile.

7. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
-- 20 November 2008


Now that the last book has ended and there's no more Harry Potter books to look forward to in the near foreseeable future, I'll take whatever I can get.

8. Angels and Demons
-- December 2008 *Updated* 15 May 2009

Ron Howard screwed up the first and biggest Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code". Robert Langdon was supposed to be a symbologist from Harvard, so he's 30% Indiana Jones without the hat, whip and archaeological site digging. But in the movie "The Da Vinci Code", he struck me as that old lecturer from uni with a combover problem and a disturbing interest in signs.

"Oh that's not a "Do Not Enter" sign, that's an ancient symbol stemmed from ancient Aztec times about Quetzalcoatl swallowing a whole human at one go. Over time, it evolved into "Do Not Enter" unless you want to spend the rest of your days in the digestive tract of The Feathered Serpent."

I would watch this just to see Tom Hank's ridiculous haircut on the big screen.

I won't be going to the cinema to watch Adam Sandler movies. I'll watch them at the comfort of my own home, where I can eat KFC with my fingers without feeling embarassed and laughing hysterically at dumb jokes. I hope none of the chewed up Original Recipe flies out.

9. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
-- 19 June 2008


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