Friday, August 08, 2008

Love, weddings and wisdom from the Grad Student.

A colleague, Hobbes, is getting married in 12 days' time and I'm thrilled to attend his wedding. Everyday like clockwork, I remind him of how many days he has left till the Big Day. He thinks I am more excited than he is, being the nonchalant Hobbes that he is.

I think it's a little strange that a guest is more excited than the groom. It is The Day when you sign on that piece of paper and fulfill your vows as a loving and loyal partner for as long as you shall live. Your friends and family will be there to witness the milestone in your relationship and it is something to be absolutely joyous about.

At least that's how I feel about marriage.

But Grad Student, being the only married man in our lunch group, started to put me down. A speech was made about how unexcited he was about his wedding and many people do not tingle with excitement as their big day approaches. The speech veered off course as usual, and Grad Student started to dish out his wisdom on love and marriage to me. Particularly me.

-- I'm going to write about my non-existent marriage in a bit.

As I tried to suppress my exasperation and block all views on love and marriage that I do not believe in, I started to wonder whether love actually sucks, or it's just Grad Student that's overstepping the boundary. I am getting increasingly uncomfortable at the way Grad Student is creeping into my life. (See Lloyd incident.)

-- Cupid has been assassinated by disappointed lovers.

Because according to him,
  • A couple falls in love after marriage so dating is futile.
  • Couples who marry out of love do not know what they are getting into.
  • I shouldn't feel sorry if my in-laws fight with my folks over a small thing like the font on the wedding invitation.

J and I are fine just the way we are. I believe every couple out there has their own problems and no relationships will be the same. I just don't see how someone should pass judgement on my relationship, how J and I handle it or what either of us should do. This is MY relationship. What works for Grad Student and his wife may not work for us. I am annoyed at the way Grad Student puts his 2 cents worth of 'life experience' like a wise wizened man, acting like the man of the house around the workplace.

The relationship advice is uncalled for. And guess who's not invited to my Big Day.

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