Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Jabba and the (possible) Cylon.

I am alive, in case you are wondering.

I haven't posted in a long time, even though I have completed posts saved as draft. I could have, but work has been such a giant b*tch and I just couldn't be bother posting something cheery and chockful of unicorn goodness when I feel genocidal.

-- What happens when a horse and a traffic cone get together.

That would be hypocritical. And that's one thing I won't stand for, even though I may be a cowardly little wimp who doesn't stand up for herself.

I want to scream but I have no voice. Partly because I'm down with flu and sick like there's no bloody tomorrow.

The past few weekends have been a major clusterf*ck at work. There were hardware upgrades to a few machines, and major changes on a bigger scale, say the entire effin' datacenter.

My team leader is probably good technical-wise but when it comes to running a team, he has got to be one of the crappiest. I think both G.W. Bush and him should enrol in some leadership classes. And his Good Guy Rating is at best, undecided.

He is one of those guys who nods all the time in the meeting. When he doesn't agree with something, he swallows his words and just soldier on. He smiles at you when he thinks you are looking in his direction. But he is also the same guy who doesn't send you to courses for reasons only he knows about. Oh and he also leaves you out of a team meeting.

Threat Category: Possible Cylon.

Clunky, shiny or just hot?

Cylon didn't organise or plan anything for the hardware upgrades. Not inform anyone in the team about the upgrades and restarting of machines. [Restarting of machines in our environment is a pretty big thing, since there is always a chance that those damn things won't start up after you shut it down.] Phone calls everywhere and no one knew what his role was in the grand scheme of things (i.e. this bloody upgrade).

Oh, Jabba tendered his resignation last Thursday. So I guess I'm running low on Jabba stories. =/

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Jabba the Hutt works in my office.

I am not a work Nazi. I am most definitely not the hardest working person around. I don't expect a person to sit at his desk 24/7, but I do expect work to be done.

But Chilli Sauce M.. has got to be the laziest person I have ever met.

I swear to God he looks like Jabba the Hutt. And maybe for the reason of anonymity. I'll call him Jabba here.

[Just in case someone Googles "Chilli Sauce M-n" and gets re-directed here. So not looking forward to explaining why I bitch about him online. =/

So much for freedom of speech.]

Anyhoo he didn't show up for work yesterday and no one knew why. The managers had no idea why he didn't turn up, whether he took time off because he worked overtime. No news. No one was informed. Nothing.

So when the client called to ask whether Jabba was attending the meeting (which had started 15 minutes without him), that was the last straw for a lot of people in my team. We had to work around his non-presence which could be dealt with internally. But when the clients started calling about a meeting no one else knew about, no one wanted to take up his mess. What were we going to tell the client? That he's not there because he's a lazy fat arse?

My hatred disdain for Jabba goes way back.

At first, it was just his personal habits that put me offhey u at . He brings his own chilli sauce wherever he goes, thus the name I bestowed upon him behind his very big back.

It's not the little sachets you get from Maccas takeaway. It's a whole frickin' bottle of condiment. He proudly said, "I bring this with me. I fly back to Indonesia to buy in bulk when I run out." Needless to say, normal human beings like the rest of us don't find that passion for chilli that endearing. Or normal.

Personal preferences aside, I didn't feel anything towards him. In fact, I felt nothing.

Until he said something mean and insulting to me once, in front of my managers and team. It was a personal insult and ever since then, I have zero respect, tolerance nor patience for the Hutt. I refuse to talk to him unless absolutely necessary.

Like "please move because your ass you are blocking the way to the printer".

[I'm so not touching his keyboard, phone and mouse.]

This contempt for Jabba aggravated over time. Little things like his half eaten yogurt left overnight on his desk, regular nose digging in full view of the office, nap time, constant tardiness and lack of responsibility towards every aspect of work snowballed into this palpable disapproval for Jabba.

Black Ninja has got nothing on Jabba.

[For more stories on Black Ninja, Dim Bulb and maybe Short-lived Newbie, please go via the labels or maybe the links below.]

Jabba the Hutt - Wikipedia entry
Seinfeld - Official website
The Soup Nazi - Wikipedia entry

Posts I've tagged
- Black Ninja
- Dim Bulb

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Water cooler and marriage.

I suspect there is something in the water. Especially the water cooler in my office.

-- "Say, you are single aren't you?"

Because 2 of my friends at work proposed this week. Oh. My. God.

People are proposing everywhere and scouting for reception locations, getting price quotes, what kind of cake they are getting, guest lists and dates and stuff.

-- "I said, shoes at the door!"

[Fear not, because I've already got 2 locations in my head. Nicely done, Rach. =D ]

I feel happy for them, after all they have decided they want to spend the rest of their lives with their better other halves and it's a brave step for them.

[What's with calling the other person the "better" half? Does that mean your significant other is better than you? Better than what/who/when? I don't get it.]

I don't feel left out. Yes I am older than they are but I don't think that's a good enough reason for me to get hitched before they do. Since when do we marry, in an ascending order of age?

-- You go first.

I find myself wondering if I would say yes now. Is that a bad sign?

Pirates, Ponant and maritime safety.

Pirates seize French yacht and 30 crew
Saturday Apr 5 09:30 AEDT

-- Le Ponant

A luxury yacht was overtaken by pirates off the coast of Somalia on Friday and the French government is still trying to rescue all 30 crew onboard.

Reading news like these worries me. J works on a small cruise ship in relatively safe waters. I mean Australasia Oceania is pretty safe compared to pirate infested waters off the coast of Somalia, Straits of Malacca and that bit between Pacific and Indian Ocean.

-- It's a huge bit.

He used to work on luxury yachts that travel all over the world from Europe, the Carribbean and all the way to Asia. By luxury yachts, I really do mean luxury yachts owned by some of the richest people in the world whose personal wealth could probably kill me if they decide to change all that riches into coins and pelt them at me. Millions smillions.

-- Freestyle it, anyone?

It is exciting to sail around the world, and I would love to do that. The whole sail-off-into-the-sunset thing. But the reality of pirate attack is very real. Way to put a damper of my happily-ever-after plans.

I used to think that the vessels carry firearms, locked away by the captain. The crew will be able to use them should they be under attack from pirates. Apparently lots of vessels don't do this anymore because of gun permits and lawsuits.

Say for example, some of these scoundrels will try to board the ship and perhaps take a crew or guests as hostage and threaten violence. If the crew shoots and injures him, the crew/captain/owner of the vessel will get lawsuits thrown at them for carrying firearms, causing grievous bodily harm with intent to kill, murder etc.

For the owners and captain, their reputation is at stake. No one wants to be prosecuted for shooting another guy. And owners will try to settle this out of court, paying said pirate large sums of money.

How is this fair? I don't get it. What about self-defence?

I mean, I'm no expert at maritime law but surely the crew and owner should be protected. I'm sure if a plane is hijacked, the crew will be celebrated as heroes when they subdue the hijackers. Even if the hijackers are injured/killed in the tussle.

-- They did it on Air Force One.

So why does the same set of laws not apply to boat crews?

Baltimore Sun article - Coalition watches for pirates of the Persian Gulf
Sydney Morning Herald - Pirates take 30 hostages
Piracy - Wikipedia entry

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Game consoles, games and Assassins Creed

I'm in the mood for games.

Assassins Creed looks pretty cool, doesn't it?

Stabbing someone 1:30 into the clip? You got it.

But after doing my research on game requirements, I've decided to stick to my Wii games. Like Super Paper Mario.

-- I love Mario!!!!

My computer will just melt from loading the DVD. 3 GB RAM recommended ?!?! Just how many people have a computer with 3 GB RAM?! Who is the target market for Ubisoft? 3GB?!

-- So fast, it flies.

Like says, my pc will weep like a scolded child (link).

To play this game, I would need to make a serious purchase or either a new
desktop or game console.

I would need to buy a desktop to play this #&$@ game because I think most laptops would overheat and melt into a blob of twisted plastic and metal wires 5 minutes into the game or installation.

I'd rather buy a console version than a PC one. But guess who decides to rain on my already-less-than-perfect parade? Ubisoft.

For PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 ONLY.

I only have Wii!!!!!

For funny game reviews -
Assassins Creed - Your PC Will Weep Like A Scolded Child
Ubisoft - Official website
Super Paper Mario - Wikipedia

My tv is a huge monitor.

I may have discovered Heaven. And all I did was to hook up my computer to my telly.

-- Erm... testing with a .avi file of a popular teenage-ish tv series .

Isn't she a beauty?

Now I can watch all 18 seasons of The Simpsons on a big screen in all its yellowy goodness. And gigantic YouTube clips on my telly.

And all it took was a S-Video -> RCA cable and 2 trips to the electrical store. J and I got a VGA cable because the salesman said "oh sure, all LCD tellys have VGA input. It will work."

Which was why we had to make a second trip because "no, silly salesman, my LCD telly doesn't have a VGA input".

Silly salesman and 2 drives later, I can now sit back on my bed and watch YouTube clips. Yay!

The other thing that bothers me is all the friggin unsightly cables hanging EVERYWHERE.

I have consoles, DVD player and all kinds of wires behind the telly. I think one fine day, it's going to burst into flames and engulf most of my worldly (and expensive) belongings, making me a sad sad person.

-- Think Hindenburg. But indoors.

For everyone who wants to enjoy YouTube on your telly, here's the dummy guide for it.
  1. Plug in the S-Video end to your computer/laptop.
  2. Plug the RCA end to your telly (those red, yellow and white thingies)
  3. (Assuming you are using Windows XP) Go to Desktop, right click -> Properties. You should be at Display Properties.
  4. Select Settings -> Advanced.
  5. Select Display and set your telly to be the primary monitor.

[The last step makes anything playing on your Windows Media Player, display on your telly. Otherwise you'll just get a black screen, which drove me mad for quite a bit till I Google-d how to resolve it.]

Sit back and enjoy. And you may send your gratitude in cash/email/praises/respect.

Hindenburg - Wikipedia entry
Forum 1 - Find out how to set telly to primary monitor.

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