Google, I'm a big fan. Please hire me and I swear upon my love for all things shiny, fashiony and fun that I WILL dedicate my working hours on Excel decoration, Gmail templates and continue to blog all things I deem interesting.
Purrrrrrrty please???? I love you Google! Maybe you can throw me a Google wedding at Googleplex! Contact me at my gmail.
Now after listening to that song on Beauty & the Beast for the past 4 hours, I've had new disturbing revelations on my favourite-st Disney cartoon of all time.
1. Belle fell in love with Beast.
That's how the fairytale was supposed to go anyway. We knew how it was going to turn out. But, bless her kind bookworm heart, not Belle.
So she fell in love with a monster Yeti. Not how 1 would love a pet, but romantic feelings for something that's not human.
-- Staring lovingly into those baby blues.
*cough*Beast**lity*cough*. That is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wrong.
Just watch this. 2:54 into the clip.
"Belle, you came back!"
But wait. Did Beast, coming in at close to (at least) 200 pounds, not fall because Belle reached out and pulled him back? Because I thought the law of physics would meant Belle, who looked like she could use a Carl's Jr burger, would fall over the balcony edge because of how much Beast weighed.
Clearly love conquers physics.
3. Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs Potts, Chip and other assorted home furnishings
Belle and Beast shared meals together, and we all remembered how candlesticks could sing and dance and asked us to try the grey stuff because it's delicious, and if we didn't believe him we could ask the dishes.
Back to Belle and Beast sharing a meal together. On proper cutlery and perhaps the finest china that survived Beast's wrath in the castle. Chip is a teacup. Now, let's draw the 2 points together. Eating off plates using cutlery that were once possibly HUMAN if not for Beast Prince's stone cold heart.
They were eating food OFF ex-humans. Can I go eww now?
Belle's father, Maurice, was an inventor. So I would say he was a man of science. How he grappled the reality that his son-in-law was a former monstrous looking animal, that's beyond me.
Enchantment and science. Enchantment = advanced science that could transform human to household items?
5. The ending of the movie
I suppose Belle and Beast Prince got married and like all newlyweds, they waltzed in their gigantic ballroom as smitten family and friends looked on.
Mmmm just a question, all those years that Beast Prince was a beast, did his friends and royal relatives not know about his predicament? And given his age and status, I thought they would have sent their fair royal daughters to him and propose marriage. Or something like that. They must know, and had kept away for fear of being ripped apart by his fangs.
Now that he was human, did he send out wedding invites to all those uncaring bastards who didn't find a more powerful witch to lift the curse? And did those people show up upon hearing that he was no longer a beast?
Only the innocence of a 10 year old could blind us from these disturbing questions and observations. To quote Beast, "Maybe it's better this way."
I'm beginning to question if I have any ounce of maternal instincts in me.
It was Teletubby's son 3rd day in office. She brings her kid into the office so she can drop him at childcare at 9am. But everyone seemed to be bowled over by the presence of a child, making silly sounds, speaking in stupid childish voices and all that giggling and fake kungfu fighting
Why am I not going "awww he's so adorable?"
I'm no witch. Well, I'm selectively evil to people I don't like and horrible spacewasters. Here we have a little boy no more than 5 and I'm about to go mad from swooshing aeroplane noises he makes with other colleagues.
Perhaps I have indiscriminately extended my disdain for his dear ol mom to him. Poor boy.
I put on my earphones to block out the laughter of a child.
Am I weird?
In other news Grad Student was being a total dick. But what's new right? Anyhoo awesomer posts are stewing in my Draft folder. Let me get back to them.
Yeah, my company is giving me very bad vibes. And if they are NOT going under, then they really suck as mass communication.
1. Increase in company-wide emails
Usually we receive emails from the CEO once every quarter to update staff on how well the company is performing blah blah and interviews the management had given to various news outlets blah blah blah.
Now, I receive emails from the CEO, CFO and human resource almost every other day. At first, it was all "the company has reported strong growth in this quarter", "we will ride out recent economic downturn" and "we are united and a family".
Now it has become "the company has reported strong growth in this quarter but a drop in profits", "we will do our best to cope with recent events", tacky one-liners such as "I'm counting on you" and THAT email from HR on maternity leave review.
Bad vibes rating: 3.5 out of 5
2. Strange behaviour from managers
They are usuallymissing in actiondoing something really important somewhere in the office building. They will only come to you when clients call them directly to enquire about progress on some initiatives or projects. They come to you because they don't know.
But they have started pacing up and down the office. I won't think they are strolling while in deep thought or checking the carpets. Are they spying on us?
And why the f*ck are they asking us to write our KPI (key performance indicator) for this year 2008 when there are only 5 weeks till 2009?
Oh, "to justify the current head count to HR." So if I really suck at essay writing and do not come off as 'absolutely necessary like oxygen to living breathing human beings', does it mean I go into the "retrenchment" pile?
Bad vibes rating: 4.5 out of 5 (I'm assuming they are doing a bit of walking to walk off breakfast/lunch/tea. And I got As got essay writing since young. I should be able to BS my way through.)
3. Sudden unscheduled meetings
The same group of managers mentioned above suddenly calls the team for a meeting. That will start in 5 minutes' time. And it's lunch break now.
We are talking about the same group of managers who leave on time for lunch is suddenly holding a meeting during lunch hour. Hmmm it does make you wonder what can be so urgent, doesn't it?
Bad vibes rating: 5 out of 5
4. Changes in stationery
We get annual planners for the next year right about now. This year, instead of a leather binder with 1 day a page planner like every other year, all we got were a(nother) lame lanyard and a "planner" best described as a notepad.
-- Say byebye to corporate planners.
Well at least they are not stapling stacks of paper and passing them to staff. Yet.
Oh, only permanent staff get them. Contract staff are staring at us in disbelief.
Way to inspire confidence by way of stationery, which can be loosely interpreted as "You're not exactly part of the family so no stationery for you". *Golf claps*
Bad vibes rating: 2 out of 5
5. No replacement
Quite a few colleagues have left but the company has yet to fill the vacancies. And they don't seem to be actively hiring.
[Confirmed in item 3 above. Managers said there is a freeze in headcount. I don't know why but in my head, it's more like body count Hot Shots style.]
There is that merger that has pissed me off to no end. Right now we're at least 5 staff short, and our "commitments to the clients" have grown as per stipulated in the contract the company made with the clients. Our workload has increased, just like inflation, but our paycheck remain the same.
A game of musical chairs to the tune of Psycho shower scene.
I'm so depressed I'm listening to Angela Lansbury's Beauty & the Beast on repeat. Ahhhhh love will keep us alive.
Updated scoreboard for The Crappiest Week (10-16 Nov 2008).
It does appear that the week did not end disastrously as predicted. There were definitely dips in overall optimism but the world agreed that this was not the worst case scenario they had painted.
Jackass Landlord have postponed yet another appointment to fix the bed frame. The bed frame broke 2 weeks ago on the eve of my birthday. Lest your imagination run like the wind, NOTHING happened. J sat on it, about to embark on hours of mindless fun killing people on Metal Gear Solid 4 when it gave under him.
It wasn't a big problem, a power drill and nails will do the job to fix the bit that holds the slates. Landlord came to take a look, and said he would be back on Monday to fix the it. Come Sunday night, he called to say he was busy and not comfortable with coming over after 7pm because it's "night time". Fine. So we arranged for him to come over on Sunday 6pm.
[I don't understand how 7pm is "night time" and 6pm isn't.]
On Friday night, to be more accurate Saturday morning at 12.30am, he texted to say he had decided not to fix it, and will be sending a new bed frame over this week.
I'm not sure if I should be overjoyed or immensely pissed.
I hate it when people change appointments at the very last minute. I have a life (some semblance of it anyway) and I can't just talk to my people and rearrange my schedule to accomodate stupid inconsiderate jackasses like him.
The airconditioner is on its last run. It stopped spewing cool air one night. Like J said, even though I'm Asian who has spent most of her life in Asia, I haven't been under the sun nor humidity a lot. Heat and humidity are not my friends.
One should NEVER assume that since I live in the tropics, I embrace heat and humidity. I've spent most of my life in the air-conditioned rooms or in any kinds of shade so I don't do so well when humidity goes up.
Anyhoo, the past 1 week has been less than comfortable. The air conditioner will run for 3 hours and stop spewing cool air after that. I have to time myself when I turn it on to ensure maximum coolness. Landlord says he is not going to fix it because it's the tenant's responsibility to maintain the air-conditioner. Not his.
Is that so?
Anyhoo I've given up arguing who should repair the fixtures in this rapidly dilapidating flat. I'll just suck it up, fix the air conditioner for my comfort and sanity.
The telly, ps3 could have died or the kitchen could have combust into flames spontaneously. But nothing catastrophic happened.
So I guess I came out unscathed this week, only highly uncomfortable after sleeping in high humidity on a bed propped up by plastic Ikea boxes.
It can't possibly be more humiliating or disturbing when a male colleague tells you that the shirt dress you thought was fabulous and smart for work was a little 'see through'.
-- But.. but... IT'S FABULOUS!
And that's the reason why the technician from the data center keeps popping by the cubicle next to mine to say hi. Because my fabulous dress is "short".
All the hemline of my skirts are slightly above my knees!
It's horrible news to hear because married men have no business perving on innocent co-workers. And men have no business perving on innocent co-workers at all.
I'm in my 20s. I'm not like 50% of the womenfolk in my office building because they are 'over 35' and dress like... mumsy clerks. I'm grabbing hold of my youth! I'm dressing my age! And that's sort of bad at my workplace because my hemline may be a little shorter than 50% of the XX chromosomal community???
I don't get it. This sucks.
I'm not a flashy dresser at the workplace because I know better. Unlike silly interns who show up in clothes with slits and pieces of fabric falling everywhere because it's 'trendy'.
Nor do I dress like the PR dept ladies who dress smart every single day. I don't know how they do it (bulk buy A-line skirts?) but I can't be arsed to iron shirts and A line skirts every single day.
-- I look stumpy.
What is it with skirts that fall slightly above the knee? I can't wear anything over my knees because I look short and stumpy. It just doesn't go with my height.
I'm mortified at the thought of wearing mumsy clothes. I'm 20+++!!!! It's the last bits of my youth and I sure as hell am not going to dress older than I have to!
This is the first time ever J and I will spend Christmas together. Ever.
Even though we have been going out for almost 3 years, we have never spent Christmas together. We came close 1 year, but that was when we were friends and not seeing each other. I left on Christmas Eve, with a snap of him on my Motorola V3.
-- of course you can't see him.
Come to think of it, why did I take a photo of him? Hmmmmmmm.... I didn't fancy him then, did I? Did I!?!?!? Oh god oh god oh god.
Anyway J is stoked about spending the holidays together. He wants to get a Christmas tree, hang lights and other pretty baubles on it and put presents under the tree. And I think he has Christmas dinner on his mind. The whole nine yards.
-- Not happening.
Problem is, we share our rented flat and it's tiny. We don't have a place for the tree, nor an oven where I can heat up store-bought cook a turkey or fowl of any kind for a traditional Christmas dinner that J probably has in mind. Hell, I'm not even sure what I can bring to the table, in every sense of the word.
-- May not be possible either.
Aside from these thorny problems, I can't wait to spend Christmas with J. It is going to be fab. I know it.
Yes, ankle deep isn't all that scary. Heck, it is the right amount of to work to keep 1 occupied, busy enough yet not overwhelmed. You don't look like you're NOT working, but you aren't slogging your sanity away either. But this is just a phase because peak period is actually in December.
Plus I've returned to what's being known as "office re-organization". And I'm deeply unhappy.
A couple of teams have merged, staff has been moved around and responsibilities have changed. At least on the organizational chart the managers have in their cubicles. How will the merger unfold or how productive it is, is another matter only time will reveal.
But as far as I'm concerned, I'm effin pissed off.
A "cooperation" team has been merged into my team. The team leader of "cooperation" team is now my assistant team leader. But she's not assistant team leader of the entire team, only that of 3 projects. And with my luck, 1 of the project happens to be mine.
From now onwards, I have to report to her and my responsibilities have expanded to cover all 3 projects, i.e. all her shite.
-- yeah, all the projects in the yellow box are belong to me.
You know what, f8ck that!
I feel insulted. Not only have I been passed over for a promotion, this feels like a demotion. I would have been happier if everything I was the acting head for my project. I manage the service, and not only am I the administrator for it, I am also the stand-in application vendor. How shall I explain this?
I use the system. When there's an issue, I escalate it to the administrator of the system. And that administrator happens to be me.
When the administrator determines the issue to be a product problem, it is escalated to the product vendor.
And since the agency did not purchase support for the product because they are too cheapskate to do so, I have to troubleshoot someone else's crap. And that makes me the product developer/engineer.
Super f8cking hell.
I report to my Cylon team leader after the merger last year. And now, I have another woman to report to. The WOMAN shall henceforth be known as Teletubby. Not because she's rolly polly but because she speaks in a pseudo kiddy voice that irritates me to no end.
Why is someone who has no knowledge of the projects given the position of the assistant team leader? Is it because she's lunch buddy with the managers? Or that they need somewhere to place her because she used to be a team leader and they can't actually demote her? What the f8ck is going on???
I hate being overlooked twice in a row. I hate being stepped over again and again. I hate my workplace. I hate my managers.
I'm going through my Hanoi pictures and they should be done soon-ish. I have over 300+ shots to sieve through, most of the duplicates because when something interesting came up, J and I took photos on our cameras. Plus I take pictures of the same thing a couple of times to get just 1 good one because my effin camera doesn't come with anti-shake. $(#Q^$
Note to everyone out there: Get a camera with anti-shake, and tells you how much juice you have left in the camera. There's no point in getting a 8 megapixel camera that's crappy. And don't underestimate how lacking some brand name cameras can be. *cough*Canon*cough*
We're going to do wedding stuff later so wish us all the luck!