Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The return of Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl is back and gawd that is akin to spring shower bringing sweet relief to this hot humid furnace of a climate.

Seriously I'm so glad to get my weekly dose of Gossip Girl. And of course I was smirking laughing and hugging my head in utter dispair and exasperation after last night's episode.

[I wrote this post last week.]

But Dan Dan Dan. Sigh.

1. Passing notes.

WTF Dan. You are in Gossip Girl world. You text. What's with the note on matching stationery? You're in the middle of a rehearsal so where did the stationery come from?

UNLESS of course you totally planned on passing her notes. And thought fine stationery impresses the ladies. (Well it does, if we're going through a Victorian phase. Otherwise you're just trying too hard.)

2. Rachel "Mary Kay Letourneau" Carr

You're the holier than thou "I can't stand gossip it's pointless!" Teach Across America farmgirl. Then you proceed to dress in skanky outfits that are too short and tight while prancing in front of Dan. Your student.

Which led to you hooking up with your student who's presumably at least 6-10 years your junior.

In the costume closet.

Hey Ms Iowa. F*ck off.

3. Wrist kissing.

But he would so do that. Because his literature filled soul would deem that romantic. And most of all, his lit-filled soul who is in the middle of The Age of Innocence would so lift the plot.

And Rachel "Mary Kay Letourneau" Carr would so appreciate it.

4. Chuck Bass

Elle is a whore who caters exclusively to a club of rich and powerful man. Why does he want to run off to Brazil with her?

Chuck Bass can have anyone because he's Chuck Bass. He would never grovel.

5. Yellow purse

Of course Vanessa would get a neon highlighter-yellow giant purse that clashes with her outfit. Because that's so totally creative and "I throw fashion rules to the wind therefore I'm artistic".

Vanessa would so definitely do that.

6. ESPN vs books

"I like ESPN and you like... books and movies."

Classic. Nate is proving to be the giant pretty amoeba we all know.

7. Cultural relevance.

"You're as empty as the Federal Reserves"
"I should have gone with mercury poisoning"


8. The twist.

Chuck was told he "has a good heart" and should find someone good. And he returns to Blair's home to wait for her. OMG the return of the lost sheep.

And nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ! Carter Baizen puts his claws on Blair's knee.

I groaned and whined to my brother, who was oblivious to this episode because he was WoWing. I don't think he understands my exasperation.

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