Monday, March 30, 2009

A snippet of my Monday afternoon.

5.40pm - Thought that colleague and deceased ex can't be anymore different.

Colleague and Deceased Ex share the same name. For a long time I refused to say his name unless necessary nor stand working with him because the one simple fact that I have to address him makes it difficult and painful.

5.43pm - still motherfricking raining. All this gloomy and clammy weather brings me down.

5.54pm - I'm hungry. The cafeteria is closed. Downs my 2nd cup of coffee. May have lost all sensation in mouth due to scalding. Then again, I won't have to endure the pain the ulcer on my tongue is giving me. I bit myself last week and it is now a full blown ulcer. I talk as if I have palatal lisp. I'm an idiot.

5.55pm - Wonder why it isn't 6.55pm instead. I wanna go home.

5.58pm - Attempts to will myself to get back to my work. I have documents to update but my mind is hijacked by nuptial thoughts. I can't believe wedding photography can costs $6000 for 1 day. That's more than what I earn in 1 month!

Motherfricking overcharging art nut.

6.03pm - Obsessing whether I should custom make my wedding dress. J wants me to. We went dress shopping over the weekend. He said the dresses at the bridal shop are pretty, but rather tatty too.

My heart swoons that he paid attention during the fittings. I thought he was just fiddling with Sudoku on his Blackberry while I sucked it in as the sales assistant zipped me up in a dress that was perhaps 1 size too small.

6.04pm - The hour hand has moved to 6! I'm so excited. Countdown begins. Oops it also means that my attempt to update all the frigging documents had been successfully hijacked by wedding thoughts.

Then again, I get only 1 shot at wedding. Word documents can be updated any time, right?

6.16pm - Semi writing my monthly report. Loathing how bad it makes me feel. I do stuff but not necessarily milestone-y enough to put in the report. It makes me feel useless and dispensable. Self doubt cripples me.

6.20pm - Resolves to be more hardworking.

6.32pm - Mouth aches. I have 2 ulcers due to stupidity. And I think 1 tooth is being pushed inwards by growing wisdom tooth. The dull ache is friggin irritating and frustrating. Totally get why teething babies cry so much. And why people rub alcohol on babies' gums to soothe the pain. Contemplates copious amount of booze when home.

copious amount of booze VS my body is a temple. Let it begin.

6.39pm - Googled "wisdom tooth". I'm not looking forward to a wisdom tooth extraction. The 2 molars are so big. Big = pain = big gaping holes.

I am so helpless. And a wimp.

6.40pm - I may be dyslexic. I just typed "wismod tooth". Fug. Better proof read my resume again.

6.43pm - Suffering from crippling heart palpitations. Stupid cup of joe. Totally reminds me of why large amount of coffee murders me.

6.50pm - Finishes 2 reports and yay for me! I get to go home. I have a short attention span. I can't just work on 1 thing at 1 time. I type up a section and move on to another task, switching back and forth. I open up 2 browsers, Lotus Notes, several documents and run half a dozen applications. And I complain my desktop is slow.

It IS slow!

7pm - Time to leave! And publish this post.

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