Monday, May 16, 2011

Self esteem, Sephora and Bella Bamba.

You know there's something terribly wrong when you are crippled with self doubt and probably one stray thought away from a self esteem meltdown when you are up at midnight, watching YouTube videos by a early 20-something on "How to apply simple eye makeup".

[On a separate note, how can THAT be simple eye makeup when you need about 10 products for just eyes?! 3 different creams, 3 shades of color, 1 brow color, 1 eyeliner (she held up about 4 choices and picked 1), 1 highlighter (not the neon colored pen you used in school) and a whole lotta brushes for applying and blending. Then again, she woke up at 6am to do that. So my bad for thinking that it will all be done in 5 minutes flat because that's all I've got every single freakin' morning.]

[And just wandering a little bit more: all her products were not your drugstore L'Oreal, Maybelline ones, but Mac, Chanel, Lancome and Urban Decay. Just how much is her makeup worth?!]

Right after you came home from a Sephora binge.

See, my troubled skin has become blemished again. I guess stress from work and all that caffeine + lack of sleep and hydration are having a toll on me.

[I hardly get water when I'm at a client's place. Sometimes I'll try to fill my tiny Evian bottle at the dispenser, but the loud noise as my bottle fills embarrasses me. Especially when my client's clients turn around and stare at the crazy lady whose hair would be messy because she has a habit of running her fingers through her hair when she's stressing out at work. Oh, the tiny Evian bottle is all that would fit in my overweight and overstuffed company issued laptop bag now.]

-- Yeah it's that small you can't even see it in the photo.

I haven't had the time to visit the dermatologist. I should go regularly but you should see the line at the clinic on a Saturday morning! I feel judged when I'm there. I see beautiful people with flawless skin waiting for their turns at the clinic. God, I'm the one who needs medical grade laser on my face, not women who could be on magazine covers without air-brushing!

-- Case in point.

Plus my dermatologist makes small talk and this always comes up. "Oh you skin looks congested. You need to come back more regularly. I'll tell the nurse to give you this other cream."

Wow, you have no idea how much it hurts to hear the word "congested" being used to describe your skin. Well, the truth hurts. Cest la vie.

Anyhooo I was having self esteem issues today (duh. since when do I not have self esteem issues) and I decided to get Benefit's Bella Bamba.

-- Utterly rad disco in Florida design.

It's SGD$55, and very expensive in my opinion. But I've been searching for a coral blush for the longest time and I've contemplated Coralista for months. Thing is, when the nice Sephora lady applied both blushes on my cheeks, Bella Bamba looked better.

-- Obviously that's the look I'm going for. Understated makeup often means a lot of work!

Well, I'm not quite sure. See, I had to hold my own mirror while she applied the blush and all I could focus on was my blemished skin. Upclose. Being colored by a total stranger. At a quick glance, Bella Bamba looked great but I was just too self conscious to notice. I was sitting on the makeup chair with my blemishes on display for all to see. I'm pretty sure she thought my skin was horrid but probably too nice to mention anything. I thanked the nice lady for her help, paid and here I am, home with a tiny box of pigment and down by $55.

Here's hoping that it's all good! I'm going to put some first thing tomorrow morning.

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