Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The end of 2014

Wow time flies. It's such a cliché but very true.

We welcomed a bouncing baby boy in 2014, and in 9 months, he's grown into such a character and so loved by everyone. We are so blessed, lucky and thankful.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for 9 months and it's been great to be present for every one of the little guy's achievement. And in 5 days' time I will leave my boy at home and return to work.

It's a bittersweet feeling, knowing that the little one is now more active and playful and he will do ok without mom and dad for most of the day. It's also a nice change for me, to be at work and having grown up conversations with people my age. 

But I'm beginning to miss him, even though I'm still home with him, and about to prepare his lunch in a few minutes. Our days have taken to a routine, preparing his morning bath, breakfast, nap, washing up his bottles, play, preparing his lunch etc. I don't think I'm ready to let go of our time together. Who will take him for his daily swim (which hasn't happened in a while because of the monsoon rain)? Who will take him to the library or supermarket for a simple outing?

"Oh why don't you become a full time mom?" Well, it's a tough choice. I'm in my early 30s and if we are lucky we may have another baby in a few years time. Our parents are getting older. To survive on a single income, raise 2 kids, feed the family, pay the mortgage, everyone's health insurance, car and maintain a certain level of lifestyle (by which I'm referring to the occasional meal out or treats for the family) is not an easy task. And all this before the kid(s) go to school and need more money for books and uniforms and music classes and art classes and maybe the odd school excursions here and there. Before we know it, we are in our 50s and the kid(s) make it to university, doing medicine or law at the most prestigious schools on earth. We need to prepare for that. We want to be able to support our kids wherever they go. It would be heartbreaking for all of us of our kids are geniuses but we can't even afford the money to the bus station, let alone fees for unis. I need to earn money while our situation still permits. I need to squirrel away every penny for the long and cold winter ahead. It would be selfish not to.

That said, if there's a chance/choice, I would gladly stay at home with the little fella.

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